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Eternity style ring instead of engagement ring?

(27 Posts)
Kat8919 Mon 04-May-20 08:14:43

Hey,
I recently got engaged four months ago grin however my lovely fiancé presented me (randomly) with a half eternity style ring instead of classic engagement ring. I’m trying really hard to not sound selfish; I love this man with all my heart and I was over the moon when he proposed. I love that he chose the ring and proposed with it. I could never change it for that reason. However, I can’t help but feel slightly disappointed I’ll never get a beautiful classic engagement ring —that sounds bad doesn’t it?!— blush
I’ve even had people comment on how odd a ring choice it was...
When i gently asked him about why he picked the ring he admitted he only decided he was going to propose to me three hours before we left for the airport. He therefore went into the jewellers in a panic and discovered they only had my size in one ring (?!) and bought it.
Basically my questions are:
1. Am I being ungrateful? It is still a beautiful ring at the end of the day
2. Has anyone else been presented with an eternity ring? If so, is that want you wanted?
3. Any ideas on what wedding ring I should buy?

Thank you, sorry for the long post!!

Here’s an example of what the ring looks like (half eternity in a wishbone shape):
www.ernestjones.co.uk/webstore/d/6155065/9ct+white+gold+diamond+shaped+wedding+band/

OP’s posts: |
Nighttimenope Mon 04-May-20 08:18:59

Congratulations! What a beautiful ring!! In your shoes I think I would keep this as my engagement ring, and choose a more traditional engagement ring as my wedding ring! For the years that follow, only you and anyone you choose will know the beautiful story about which came first 😁 The wishbone will look really lovely alongside some settings!!

Ginfordinner Mon 04-May-20 08:19:15

I can’t help but feel slightly disappointed I’ll never get a beautiful classic engagement ring —that sounds bad doesn’t it?!

Sorry, but yes. In the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. If you want a fancy ring, why not ask for one for birthday/Christmas, or buy your own?

For the record DH and I didn't get "engaged", we just decided to get married, set a date and got married - nearly 39 years ago. I am not a ring person so when we decided to get married I actually asked him not to buy me an engagement ring. I do have a wedding ring though, just a 9ct plain gold band that cost £30.

Mascotte Mon 04-May-20 08:23:18

I think it's a beautiful ring, and much more practical to wear all the time than a sticky up one (technical term😃)

I think the important thing is if you like the ring itself. I wouldn't want to wear one I disliked. And I agree with the pp who suggested a engagement style wedding ring to go with it if you'd like that.

Personally, I'd be relieved he chose a nice ring 😃

MayFayner Mon 04-May-20 08:24:38

I don’t think you should have to put up with a panic-bought ring for the rest of your life.

Sounds like you would have preferred a solitaire or something like that?

Get the ring you want and keep the existing and use it as your wedding ring when the time comes.

Aliensrus Mon 04-May-20 08:26:53

I don’t think it sounds bad at all, you are not complaining that is is ugly or too small but noting, correctly, that it is not the type of ring that is marketed, or typically worn as, an engagement ring. Engagement and weddings bring all these social conventions to the surface and a lot of people think they are important (I know this as I deliberately chose an unusual ring as an engagement ring and it definitely caused some kerfuffle!).
I would get a classic engagement ring if you or he can afford it and have the first engagement ring as a placeholder/temporary ring (I have seen a lot of people do that).

fiddlysticks Mon 04-May-20 08:30:42

YANBU. I would do as pp suggested and use this ring as a placeholder and go out together to choose your engagement ring.

You can then wear the ring he proposed with as an eternity ring.

Would he be ok with this? He bought it as it was the only ring they had in your size?! It sounds like he meant well but you're lucky you ended up with what u got with that strategy! grin

Alyic Mon 04-May-20 08:32:10

Will it sit properly with a wedding ring ? Do they have shaped wedding rings to match, if not you could suggest getting another which you both choose.

It's a lovely ring.

Boringnamechanging Mon 04-May-20 08:35:03

The one you link to is described as a wedding band. Could you choose an engagement ring style to be you wedding ring and therefore have the classic combo but in reverse?

MrsJoshNavidi Mon 04-May-20 08:43:52

Missing the point, but how did your partner know what ring size you are?

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel Mon 04-May-20 08:44:58

YANBU. This is something you'll have to wear every day for life, you should love it and you don't. If he's a good guy he'll understand. Tell him how you feel.

Vinosaurus Mon 04-May-20 08:49:57

I'd keep it if you get a ring that fits it as a wedding ring (i.e. a more traditional engagement ring style) - I think a straight band would look odd with it considering it's shaped.

Kat8919 Mon 04-May-20 09:03:29

@MrsJoshNavidi
I told him my ring size ages ago, long story short I had to get my ring size from a jewellers for a present a relative was gifting me smile

OP’s posts: |
Kat8919 Mon 04-May-20 09:07:05

Thank you for all your comments, taking them all on board.
Especially thank you to everyone that has complimented my ring - you’ve made me feel a lot better. I’ve had nothing but odd comments and looks from people in real life sad
I was thinking maybe a wedding ring that has three main stones (so probably more of an engagement ring) - therefore it fits in with the dip (technical term!) of my engagement ring?

OP’s posts: |
TranquilityofSolitude Mon 04-May-20 09:12:38

I think that's a good idea. When jewellers reopen perhaps you could go and try some on to see what fits with the ring you have. People will probably think your engagement ring is your wedding ring but it doesn't matter once you're wearing both anyway.

Ughmaybenot Mon 04-May-20 09:12:44

It’s a lovely ring and if it were me, that would always be my engagement ring because he proposed with that one, but I can see what you’re saying. I think getting an ‘engagement ring’ for your wedding ring, and doing the combo in reverse would work perfectly well. You could always let him have the actual engagement the night before, and start wearing the new engagement ring then, to have them put on in the ‘right’ order if you wanted.

hapagirl Mon 04-May-20 09:25:13

It’s beautiful OP and it’s lovely he presented it to you. I know how you feel though. We were quite young and at the beginning of our careers when my DH proposed out of the blue. Also he was a bit clueless with engagement rings and got me an eternity style ring instead of a solitaire. I was a tiny bit disappointed but never said anything because I know it was bought with love. Anyway, about 6 years into our marriage, he presented me a lovely solitaire diamond ring for my birthday, again out of the blue. I wear it now on my ring finger with my wedding ring. Anyway, the point is, you can get another one at a later date if it bothers you. Congratulations on your engagement.

BertiesLanding Mon 04-May-20 09:32:29

Think of this ring as a metaphor for marriage: you don't always get what you had envisaged, but are you able to accept and live with what you do get?

Nighttimenope Mon 04-May-20 11:20:04

@kat8919 something like this? These are my engagement and wedding rings, so maybe I am biased to your solution 😁

Nighttimenope Mon 04-May-20 11:21:20

Ps can’t believe people have been so rude in real life! People are far too judgemental (I say judging these people...)

Tootletum Mon 04-May-20 11:25:37

People forget it's just a symbol. We're all a bit conned by marketing into thinking what we want is our choice, when we're actually a bit programmed into it by jewellers who want to make more money. I do know how you feel though, I hated my engagement ring and still do, but when he clocked this and asked me what to do, I just said, as you have, that it's what he chose to give me and therefore it's a moment to remember through the years. My DH also picked the ring on his way home from work because he was riding by a jeweller and decided to propose the next day. It was lovely of him and he's mostly a wonderful husband. Congratulations and all the best for your marriage!

Tootletum Mon 04-May-20 11:27:37

Also sorry to add more comments but yes get another ring later. We got another ring after our second child, which we picked out together and I love it.

Kat8919 Mon 04-May-20 12:09:51

@Nighttimenope Yes! Thank you for your photo, your rings are beautiful smile

OP’s posts: |
lollipoplola Mon 04-May-20 13:15:16

I have that shape for my wedding ring. I would look to find a matching engagement ring and use that as the wedding ring. Or you can wear the engagement ring now and put the ring he got you in the box and save it for the wedding. I'm a bit sentimental so wouldn't want to not use this original engagement ring in some way.

Dancefloorgirl Thu 18-Jun-20 12:28:00

Your partner sounds sweet. And all I can imagine is a poor guy crapping himself in a jewellery shop grin but you are not being unreasonable at all. Your ring looks like my wedding band.
I would suggest you go together to pick an engagement ring (don't leave it down to him!) and then you have your bridal set sorted.

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