Occupying little ones

[StrongInside]

Hi,

What’s everyone’s experience of having young children at your wedding? Any hope that all our adult guests will actually hear the vows and speeches, pay attention to the unity ceremony and then hear the entertainment we have planned? Any good activity suggestions to keep them busy?

Wedding nannies are proving to be expensive, and some of the children attending are a little unruly. All five children will be aged 1.5-5 years at the time of the wedding. Small wedding of around 35-40 guests.

All I want is for us and our special day to be the focus of everyone’s attention for a few hours, instead of everyone turning the opposite way to gush over or chase after the children. Might sound selfish, but our lives revolve around children every day and at every other celebration (birthday, Christmas etc.), we are always in the background. So for one day, and with all the thought that goes into wedding planning, it would be amazing to have the kids be part of our day but not the main event.

I’ve witnessed kids throw tantrums during the ceremony and lots of people looking at them rather than the bride and groom, and half of us missed out on the touching part of the registrar’s speech (got it summed up later by other guests). Or kids running around between tables while meals are being served or someone trying to crack a joke during speeches, only no one was paying attention.

I know I can’t shush other people’s kids or make their parents step out to calm them down, but I want to try and minimise the likelihood of our little guests being bored.

[TorysSuckRevokeArticle50]

How long do you need to occupy the children for to complete the ceremony and is the entertainment straight after or part of the evening event?

Could you set up a film/play space and hire a known babysitter/teenager to help out?

[StrongInside]

Need to occupy them for as long as possible @TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 ! Entertainment will be partially before and straight after the meal. There might be a corner of the function room free. Yeah, wedding nannies are extortionate. Normal babysitters might be the way to go. Any good websites to try?

[flowerstar19]

I would suggest amazing party/activity bags. Recently we had a fairly formal Christening with 8 kids 2-8 years old and the meal in a nice restaurant was sit down and they all managed 2.5 plus hours, my youngest only just 2 sat in his highchair for 3.5 hours happily! I spent ages planning, researching and buying bits but they all loved their bags so was really worth it and it meant the adults could relax! Not sure how to keep them quiet in the ceremony, I always find this stressful with my own children, but do find lollipops help them sit quietly licking?! That said parents may not be impressed with the sugar and some (round ball shaped) are real choking hazards but I usually find the flat ones. I always bring snacks/books/toys to try and keep mine busy or am ready to leg it if need be! Xxx

[StrongInside]

@flowerstar19 You have given some hope, thanks! Our youngest guests will be 1.5 and oldest just under 5. Such an age range, standard packs for all won’t work. Is it worth asking their parents a couple of months before the wedding what they are into and getting them those toys/stickers themed individually?

If I was the guest, I would take a bag full of toys and books my LO likes and would be doing my best not to let him disrupt the ceremony. Unfortunately, not all parents are that considerate.

So far I have a list of sticker books, normal books, colouring books and mini bubbles. One of the toddlers will not sit long enough to do any of it though🙄

[hauntedvagina]

I got married ten years ago and had a similar amount of children around the same ages. I gave them colouring books, crayons, stickers, etc instead of wedding favours. I made sure that the eldest two were involved in the day, this kept their interest. My niece did start to get a grumpy during the speeches but my SiL took her out the room. Was not an issue.

[armsandtheman]

For a recent big birthday we dedicated part of the room to arts and crafts so all the kids were contained. The hotel had oversized games they put out and we got cheap craft supplies. The kids all made me birthday cards!

We also got a local magician who does adult and children's parties. He did mostly close up magic but the kids loved him and he did some tricks for them too. That kept them entertained during drinks then a disco. Food was a hot buffet so we avoided the sit down meal and there weren't really speeches.

If possible I'd designate some space for them away ideally separate from an adult space, then maybe a joint room for formal parts and food. If in doubt my strategy is divide and conquer!

[flowerstar19]

@stronginside the Baker Ross website is amazing for kids party bag bits and pieces! If you have a quiet corner/room could you quietly have a film on too?

[flowerstar19]

Also I just remembered a church wedding we went to recently had a large playpen area full of toys books etc where tiny ones could go and be safe, which seemed a good idea!

It is tricky, I find it very stressful, mine are usually quite good but they are so unpredictable! Despite a bag full of favourite toys, boys and snacks my two year old at the Christmas carol service kept standing up on my lap shouting 'hero' then legging it down the aisle with me rugby tackling him and having to remove him!!

[StrongInside]

Thanks for sharing your positive experience @hauntedvagina !

What sort of things would you recommend from Baker Ross @flowerstar19 ? That’s what I’m worried about, kids getting bored during the ceremony/speeches/meal/magician and stealing my thunder and attention😕

Our function suite and outdoor area are what we have access to, so I am now thinking, if I find out what each child is into closer to the wedding day, I get them each a sticker book, colouring book and some touch bubbles. Surely, the rest is up to their parents to entertain them? We could hire a nanny but not sure how long for.

[dyscalculicgal96]

My little sister was four at the time. My two were only two on my big day.
She had some crayons and an activity book. My parents looked after the kids, there were not many. To keep the other two little ones busy and happy, I advised that she stay with them. She played with them. But I decided to keep the wedding short and sweet anyway. After the legal ceremony was over, a few of the guests left but most waited for me to have my first dance. Then we took some photos before lunch. Then later on we had a proper party with lots of dancing and wine before I went on my family moon.

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

All I want is for us and our special day to be the focus of everyone’s attention for a few hours, instead of everyone turning the opposite way to gush over or chase after the children.

The problem is, you want this - which is a perfectly reasonable thing to want - but you also talk about wanting the parents to keep them constantly occupied and quiet, but that's going to take all of the parents' attention (and they probably still won't succeed). Presumably you feel it's just not an option to have a child-free wedding? Because I think that's the only way to get what you want. You're not going to have a wedding where over 10% of the guests are under 5 that doesn't feel quite dominated by children no matter how many sticker books you buy - it's just not realistic or fair to anyone to expect the children to be seen or not heard.

[midwesteaster]

stealing my thunder and attention😕**

OP you will be the bride, the day is about you. Nothing dc can do will steal your thunder and attention!
I ended up with so much blinking attention I didn't get one single bite of the carefully chosen afternoon tea we had.
Parents will have to give their dc attention for them to be on their best behavior.
Would you be more comfortable with a smaller guest list and no dc?

[BackforGood]

What @LisaSimpsonsbff said.

dc that young are not going to be 'entertained' or 'kept quiet' by a sticker book. They are just too young to be predictable.
Is a child free wedding a definite 'no' for you ?