Experiences to have before the wedding day

[StrongInside]

Hi,

For various reasons (having a very active baby, feeling exhausted and low, returning to work), I haven’t thought about the big day which is this summer and not done anything apart from paying deposits to some suppliers.

What could I do to get in the bride-to-be mood? One thing I have planned is togo to at least one local wedding fayre, even just to try some cake samples and feel the wedding atmosphere. I’m not into clothes shopping, so trying on dresses would be fun if it wasn’t so tedious. I plan just to get a £50 dress online, kind of picked it already, so no point in trying on overpriced dresses under the watchful eyes of sales assistants whose job it is to sell me stuff. Any other activities that I’m missing out on?

[charlesthekudu]

Personally... I'd say you're missing out on trying on dresses. I had the exact same attitude as you. I spent approx £400 on a handful of wedding dresses from the
High street and higher end stores. Stood in my bedroom in bad light and felt pretty crap. I then went to a wedding dress shop and it was a totally different experience and really made me (me personally) realise the magnitude of the day and changed my attitude. And they were so much nicer

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

Have a good indulgent browse at the wedding boards on Pinterest, some are crazy gorgeous, some are crazy £££ and some are just, well, crazy.

I think it's probably the modern equivalent of buying a big stack of wedding magazines and sitting, poring over them with a 🍷like I did gimmer

[StrongInside]

I guess I dismiss the idea of dress shopping because I don’t have the budget for any dress that costs over £100. I would rather spend on good food and entertainment, and even there we are on a low budget. So would I be just trying on dresses I could never have? I guess it could still be fun to pretend one of them is mine. Do the bridal shops let you just walk in, try on and walk out, or do you have to give all your details to register, chat about your wedding plans etc.? I literally just want to play dress up and leave.

I have been looking at Pinterest every so often, and saved a few ideas, but again it all comes down to budget. Lots of cool stuff out there though!

Any more ideas?

[charlesthekudu]

Depends what store you go into. I went to a pretty small local one. And they were incredible. They talked me through the rails and the display system they had 'these rails are ballgownnshape, this rail is lightweight for summer or destination weddings' they also told me the range of budgets. They gave me little tokens to hang on any I liked the look of and then they helped me try them on. There was no pressure at all or any details shared :) but it was a lower end store rather than a big one.

[charlesthekudu]

Start looking at cake ideas and see if you can book in for samples. We used a local bakery and she was appearing at a local food market. We got there as it opened and bought one of each flavour. Then we invited a few friends over and made rating cards to taste and vote the best options for our three tiers.
Book into high street stores for make up trials.
Start thinking about table decorations and favours to see if any can be made yourself.
Are you having a hen party? Even a super small scale drink in the local pub is a nice way of mixing some of family and friends before the wedding day

[trackydacks]

Depends on the bridal shop really. My dress came from a fairly fancy bridal shop, and the experience was lovely and not as stressful as I thought (took my sister with me). But even if you go for a high street dress, I'd suggest allowing some money in your budget for alterations. What really made my dress "mine" was the amazing job they did altering it to fit me.

On the experiences front, we had friends over to help choose the wine & beers we were planning on having on the day. DH and I also made a few of the table decorations ourselves, and my family helped fill the favour bags.

[forkfun]

Most of my friends were already married before I got married. We went out for drinks one afternoon and they all have me 'marriage advice'. Might sound naff, but it was really nice and has turned out useful over the years. While a wedding is lovely, I'd focus on the marriage aspect.

[MaidenMotherCrone]

I didn't go in a single dress shop but had my dress made for me.
I didn't want to get caught up in the whole wedding industry circus but really, really enjoyed the time leading up to our wedding as we are both artistic/crafty and we made almost everything we had at our wedding.

Not a jam jar or artificial flower in sight though.

We had our cake from M&S which we actually didn't have to pay for as it had little dents in it ( which you couldn't see anyway once it was set up).

I think it looked pretty anyway.

How would you like your wedding to be? Perhaps we can help you with ideas that you can be involved in that don't cost the earth.

[StrongInside]

Charlesthekudu, I’ll look into smaller shops then, thanks. Do they actually go into the changing room with you just in your underwear?😲

I think I’ll get the cake from a local homebaker, much less artificial flavours and muuch cheaper than any bakery. But I think I will still try some flavours at a local wedding exhibition just for fun.

I prefer doing my own hair and makeup, otherwise would have been fun. I had two trials at department stores for other events before and each time they either got something in my eye or the makeup just didn’t look too flattering. My Mum had hers done- and she looked so orange!! I would love to find a few new products, so I might just chat with someone at the counters.

I’ve got pretty much everything like favours, guest book and decorations down on paper. Waiting on a meeting with my decor supplier to see her available colour shades first before making things to match. I know I’ll enjoy that part, although very hard to find time when you have a little toddler.
Yeah, I think there will be a hen party later on, if I plan it. Maybe an Escape room, cocktail making or something.

Forkfun, nice idea! We’ve been together longer than most of the couples we know so we’ll probably be able to dish out advice instead😊

MaidenMotherCrone, I’m planning a pretty non-traditional wedding. No speeches, no top table, several colours of chair bows rather than one, alternative guestbook in a shape of something etc. I think I have quite a good list of things I can make or find on ebay, with a little one running around there won’t be too much time to make stuff so I’m not too keen to add to the list.

I’m looking more for stuff to do that I won’t be able to do once the big day is over. Wish I wasn’t so particular about what I want and not on a tight budget, otherwise I would have gone to browse fancy shops with Prosecco in hand.

[charlesthekudu]

She only helped me get in the dresses after I called for help! You can do it privately or with a friend if that would make you feel more comfortable!

Don't worry about not feeling to weddingy at the moment. I took a super relaxed approach to my wedding. I had the best day surrounded by friends and family. You'll have a brilliant day!

[StrongInside]

Thank you! I keep hearing about people having much bigger weddings and I’m starting to doubt 30 guests (including kids) is going to be all that fun. Feels like everyone else has more friends than us😕 Maybe that’s what’s also making me feel not very weddingy, RSVPs are all in already as if we are arranging a small birthday party rather than a larger event.

[Douberry]

I also had a small wedding like you - 30ish guests and I also worried it wouldn't be "weddingy" enough. In hindsight I would've embraced our little party and kept it non-weddingy actually! Instead we tried to follow the usual wedding day format too much and imo would've been nicer to be kept more informal.

I would say however that M&S wedding cake is excellent value for money -we had the plain tiers and got fresh flowers to decorate it ourselves. You could get a florist to do this if you wanted.

I agree with PP that Pinterest is good for inspiration.

Personally I hated dress shopping and found it stressful going to try dresses on!

[StrongInside]

Douberry, what sort of things do you think would have been better informal? We’d like to have separate cakes rather than the traditional tiered ones. My problem with cakes that keep for ages, and wedding cakes in general, is that they taste artificial and over-the-top sweet. Do M&S cakes taste shop bought? I have heard good things, but there is no way to try a sample, or is there?

[StrongInside]

Any more bridal inspiration? Things that made you feel like a bride?