Help me pick my bridesmaids!

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

Ok so I have a bit of a conundrum.

I have 5 sisters aged 18-30, two best friends and one toddler DD.

Sisters are a mix of half and step but have been a constant for the last 15 years so are all, basically, 'proper' family.

It'd be difficult to have any of the 5 sisters (bar maybe 1 who would actually be respects on my decision) without there being a massive fallout.
Two of the sisters have MH challenges and one would definitely see this as everyone hating her, because that's her normal 'go to'.

My two best friends fell out and are on the brink of reconciling. I lost contact with one for a while because of this but we're back in contact regularly now.
One of them only has a brother and has always said I'll be her MOH when she gets married.

I also think more than 3 adult bridesmaids is too much (as well as the expense that comes with it!)

What would you do!

[pleasenomorechocolates]

I was in a very similar position to you OP so I sympathise. I really only wanted my best friend and of course everybody says ‘do what you want, it’s your wedding’ but the fall out from not choosing the other people would’ve been far worse than the other options. Really I think these are your options:

a) Have just toddler DD - say you are trying to keep costs to a minimum. Someone can help her down the aisle without being a bridesmaid
b) Have them all. I know it’s loads but if it saves heartache and worry and you can afford it maybe just go for it?
c) Pick between having your 2 friends or your 5 sisters - then you can use the ‘I’m only having family as bridesmaids/only having friends’ card
d) Pick whoever the hell you want!

[Joopy]

Don't have adult bridesmaids! I just had my niece as a flower girl

[Chocmallows]

Given all the issues I'd just have your DD. Your BFs may not reconcile and this will cause more issues if they're forced to share a role.

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

@pleasenomorechocolates thanks for your response! Who did you go for in the end?

I was contemplating just DD as then she can sit at the top table too without having to worry about fitting in MOH etc.

I also worry about if the friends don't properly reconcile. As selfish as it sounds (and I'm no bridezilla!) it's my wedding and I don't want any dramas!

[Batqueen]

Another option is to say that you would love to have them involved because you live them all but due to the number you can only pay for DD and for one item eg shoes for everyone else. It’s up to them then if they accept knowing they are paying for their own dress etc

[Batqueen]

*love

[GroggyLegs]

Just toddler.
No question.

[pleasenomorechocolates]

Like a PP suggests, in the end I just said I wasn’t having any adult bridesmaids except my best friend who was my MOH. I had my nieces as flower girls and included my sisters by saying they could pick the dresses for the girls and I’d of course pay. Seemed to work!

[Hanab]

No one .. do you really need bridesmaids?

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

Thanks all for such quick responses.

@Batqueen not viable unfortunately. Two (of the 7) are in college, two on disability benefits. I think only one could comfortably afford it and I couldn't put anyone in that position

[Batqueen]

Ah fair enough, yes in that case. I would say just DD. Can you ask the others to do readings or something else special on the day to feel involved?

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

I think i will just go for DD

To be honest it's not going to be a big long traditional wedding so they can just attend like normal guests which I think will be fine. It's picking any one over the others that would have caused trouble

[notaregularmom]

I'd just have the flower girl, no one can be pissed then.

[GiveHerHellFromUs]

DD can pick her own dress then too which I think would be cute

[Hereyougosandwiches]

I had five bridesmaids - my three sisters and my two best friends. It wasn't expensive for us as I let them wear whatever they wanted (ie, what they would have wanted to wear to the wedding anyway, whatever they felt most comfortable in) and just provided the bouquet.

[Ohyesiam]

Came on to say just gave dd( it’s what I did) , so good choice!
Have a great day.

[Ohyesiam]

*have

[DreamingofSunshine]

I'd just have your DD. I think the others sound like they might add stress not reduce it.

[katzenellenbogen]

Just don't have bridesmaids.

My MIL was horrified when I said I wasn't having any. "Oh but you must!"
Why? Why must I?

I didn't. The world didn't stop turning.