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AIBU wedding invitations?

16 replies

NewlyNamed · 17/07/2019 00:42

Getting married next year and half the guests will need to fly to get there.

People in the wedding country will get an invitation about 3 months before.

But for people who have to travel I was hoping to give around a years notice. After some web searching apparently this is was too long. Most are saying 3 months. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think people could afford it with a few months notice.

I was going to give people till around April to RSVP.

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NewlyNamed · 17/07/2019 00:44

Maybe it’s unclear but I wanted to send invitations out to people who’ll need to travel, a year in advance.

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FckIt · 17/07/2019 00:45

My friend gave hers out a year in advance to everyone. Even people in the country. Just in case it gets back to them somehow and think they aren't invited. (Some people can get funny like that!)

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greenlynx · 17/07/2019 00:50

It sounds like a good plan. People often book their holiday for the next year in September.

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Expressedways · 17/07/2019 00:56

Seems reasonable to give people a lot of notice if they’ll have to travel. You haven’t said how close April is to the actual wedding but I’d also give people a decent amount of time to RSVP. The only thing with sending invites very far in advance is that some people will inevitably forget to RSVP and you could find you having to chase up a lot of responses. You could also go down the ‘save the date’ route but whatever you decide I’d send all the invites at the same time so that word doesn’t get back to people in the other country and they think they’ve been snubbed. 12 months is probably a bit excessive if you’re asking people to fly from the U.K. to France for a night. If it’s something like that I’d probably do 6 months and tell close friends/family verbally as soon as the date is confirmed. If the wedding is somewhere like Australia then a year’s notice is definitely needed!

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negomi90 · 17/07/2019 00:57

Send them to everyone at once - a year in advance. Otherwise people will get upset/feel 2nd tier.

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PerfectPear · 17/07/2019 09:25

If you don't want to send the full invite make sure you send a save the date. Ensure that this states where and when the wedding is so that they know they'll have to travel

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Undercoverdetective · 17/07/2019 09:32

I think a year is fine. Everyone might be glad of as much detail as possible as early as possible. Helps for holiday planning and getting cheap flights and accommodation even for local people. Save the dates can leave people in limbo as they can't officially book anything.

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NewlyNamed · 17/07/2019 09:45

Thank you so much. I did think the more notice the better and I wanted people to have their invitations before flights go up for sale, so they can hopefully get a good bargain.

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TheHodgeoftheHedge · 17/07/2019 09:51

More notice rather than less is always preferable. Especially for an event where they might have to save/request time off.

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stucknoue · 17/07/2019 10:04

When weddings are abroad we have had an email invite around a year in advance with wedding location, suggested hotels (at different price points) and a rough itinerary of events (there were traditional pre wedding events leading up to the wedding.) it made clear whether kids were invited (they were) then the official invites come at the 3-4 months prior time including any menu requirements

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zinrepus · 17/07/2019 10:45

We did a save the date a year-ish in advance and then created an email chain with the UK-based folk where we mentioned accommodation options (we didn't do a formal hotel block) as well as when to keep an eye open for the sales, our experiences with the local airports, etc.

Invites we sent 3ish months ahead, because then people would have a better sense of whether or not they could make it (we had a few drop out from the UK because of passport issues, the ones abroad were WAY worse, only confirming about 5 weeks out).

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Bobbiepin · 17/07/2019 10:53

For my guests that would have to travel (across country rather than flying to a different one) I sent out messages saying where the wedding would be and the date but @stucknoue has got it down. That's the best way to do it.

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CurbsideProphet · 17/07/2019 11:01

We sent our invites in May for our October wedding. Some family and friends are travelling a fair distance within the UK and it seemed sensible. Plus we wanted to know numbers etc for organising the table plan / menu / costs . I didn't want to still be sorting that out a fortnight before the wedding!

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snowy0wl · 17/07/2019 11:08

Just echoing what everyone else is saying. I was keen for everyone on my guest list to attend my wedding and so I gave a year's notice (especially important for those who were flying in and needed to book flights and annual leave), but I sent out the official invitations 3 months before the event.

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Mummyme87 · 17/07/2019 12:55

Definitely nothing wrong with a year for out of the country. I’ve just sent my invitations out 9months in advance. It’s Easter weekend and majority of guests will be travelling from other parts of the country. For me, 3months notice isn’t enough as to guarantee time off work at certain times of the year such as summer holidays, bank holiday weekends annual leave needs booked up over 6months in advance, often a lot more

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SheWoreBlueVelvet · 17/07/2019 17:28

We got engaged at Christmas, decided on a destination wedding for Octobdr and sent the invitations out in March. There were low budget options for flights though.

I think just send invitations to everyone. You can always make the RVSP closer to the date if people don’t know what they are doing in your chosen month.
Invites will have times on - we did a later wedding so people could get a cheaper morning flight on the day.

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