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Small intimate wedding questions

(5 Posts)
MafaldaGregorovitch Thu 04-Apr-19 19:31:45

Hello all

I have a few questions re small intimate weddings. Including DP, DSD and I there'll be 12 people (if all accept the invite!) plus the priest. What's the etiquette on invites, should we check with the guests if they can make it before booking? I thought not but DP said he thought I'd want to check with people as there's not many invited which has now made me question it.

If having the ceremony (hopefully in church) and then going for a meal at a restaurant, what's the best time to have the ceremony begin?

If you had a small intimate wedding did you have a photographer and how much of your budget did he / she cost?

OP’s posts: |
fatcatshavemorefun Thu 04-Apr-19 19:39:31

We planned to have around 15 but had 30 people in the end. Did have a photographer (cost a fortune - a third of the overall budget- but was totally worth it). We checked with all the absolutely most important people first whether they could make our date before we booked/paid for anything and before sending invitations. We were prepared to move the date if some of those people couldn’t make it. Hope that helps!

MafaldaGregorovitch Thu 04-Apr-19 19:47:48

Thanks @fatcatshavemorefun What time was your ceremony?

I'm a bit stressed (and it's still at least a year away!!) as I know what one of the guests is like and will probably be all "oh I can't do that date / time) and be dead awkward and part of me feels if you can't even rearrange your social life based on a hopefully once in a lifetime wedding almost a year away (by the time we tell them) for a very close relative then...

OP’s posts: |
fatcatshavemorefun Thu 04-Apr-19 20:21:23

We found that our timings depended on the reception venue. We were able to pick between a 12pm or a 3.30 pm slot for our ceremony (a busy Saturday!) so then we checked with reception venues about timings for lunch or dinner. Lots of places would only offer us until 4.30 for lunch and then we would have to be out so that they could set up for dinner. We felt that would be too rushed as still wanted speeches and cake cutting etc so that influenced our decision.
On the day everything was about half an hour out in the end as each stage took slightly longer than expected (some guests were 10 mins late), the taxis were 5 mins late etc so glad we hadn’t picked somewhere where we had to rush as that would have been stressful

fatcatshavemorefun Thu 04-Apr-19 20:27:08

I was disappointed one guest rsvpd yes (enthusiastically!) but then booked a holiday abroad AFTER telling us they could definitely make it. By then we had paid for them and their partners meals, transport, favours etc (so were out of pocket quite a bit) but more importantly one of the people I’ve been close friends with for decades wouldn’t be at my wedding so I was very upset initially. We had also gone to their wedding and missed a big family event of my partners to atttend.
On the day I didn’t think about it at all, not even once! It was the people who had made a huge effort to be there who counted.

However, am still not speaking to said guest.

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