Engagement party gifts - what did you get or do you give?

[EEELA]

What on earth do we ask for?

I didn't realise that anyone would be buying presents (besides v close family perhaps, who have offered us a bit of money which is very kind) so didn't say anything about it on the invite. The party is a week on Friday and I've had loads of texts this week asking what we want. Would it be unreasonable to ask for money? It feels a bit 'off' to me and I don't want to offend anyone.

I had a thought about asking them to bring a bottle of wine or something similar as we are providing the alcohol for our wedding reception, so could make use of it then?

When I googled it, the consensus seemed to be to buy household items, but we live in a furnished flat and won't be moving for a couple of years yet!

Any thoughts?

[adulthumanwolf]

We said we didn't want gifts at all, but most people gave us champagne.

[LazyLizzy]

I don't see the point of engagement parties.
Money spent on the party could be used to save for the wedding.

A meal to get the families together would be ok.

[SunnySomer]

If there’s nothing you want or need then say you just want a party to celebrate and no gifts.
I’ve only been to one engagement party, 30 years ago, and don’t think I took anything except a card. I tend to think (it may be my age) that asking for money is a bit crass... wine for the wedding - depends on the venue, will you have to pay corkage? And do you want to serve a selection of completely random wines? Sorry this isn’t a v helpful answer....

[Chilledout11]

We got wime glasses towels and vouchers and dinnerware sets. Cutlery. All still in use. Nicer stuff than I owned.

Maybe state bottles of wine if you would use them at the wedding. I wouldn't ask for money though many people do.

[EEELA]

@LazyLizzy - I am with you on engagement parties being unnecessary! Both sides of the family are very traditional and wanted us to have one (they are planning and paying for it though, so we don't mind!), but we wouldn't even have thought about it ourselves.

@SummerSomer - Our venue is very DIY, so no corkage. We'll have paired wines for the meal, but for the party afterwards will be buying a lot of alcohol anyway and I thought wine was the best (or at least the classiest) option (rather than asking them to gift a crate of lager, ha).

[squeakyreptile]

I would say to bring themselves.

My personal opinion, but I think people feel obliged to bring a gift to engagement parties- they are also coming to your wedding presumably, buying an outfit, travel, overnight accommodation and a gift then.... and before possibly also hen party/stag party/both!

Someone close to you who actually wants to buy you a separate engagement gift will know you well enough to pick a gift.

Other option is to go for something novel and non-monetary e.g. favourite photo in time they have known you, an annual rose for your garden.... or something more attuned to who you are, on a similar note.

[thecatsthecats]

We got a few token vouchers from family friends for department stores, and otherwise people just brought a bottle as for any other party.