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Picky eaters and wedding!

(35 Posts)
Flibbertyjib Thu 14-Feb-19 20:35:17

So I need some perspective before I tackle this...
We have given our guests 3 choices for meals. We had to have a battle with the venue over this as they wanted to give us 1 choice as they recently changed the packages since we booked. So we got our 3 choices which is great!
So we've got most the invites back however 1 guest has emailed me and asked if they can have a made up starter not on the list as they don't like anything on offer.
I'm a bit annoyed as I wouldn't dream of doing this, I would suck it up and try something new for 1 day. The person has no allergies. I don't want to ask the venue as I feel like we've already had a battle to have 3 choices! There's a meat fish and veggie so I don't see why they can't choose something and at least try it!
They are a close family member so it makes it more tricky!
Have no idea what to reply!

OP’s posts: |
WorraLiberty Thu 14-Feb-19 20:38:22

Tell them no.

It's a 3 choice set menu and that's that.

It might be different if they were talking about their main course but starters are unnecessary anyway. They won't starve.

user1493413286 Thu 14-Feb-19 20:40:28

Tell them that the venue said no, they don’t need to know that you didn’t ask. We were able to offer a picky guest the vegan option but if they hadn’t liked that it’d be tough

Doilooklikeatourist Thu 14-Feb-19 20:41:10

As @worra said

picklemepopcorn Thu 14-Feb-19 20:42:01

"Dear close family member, what a shame you don't like any of the starters! We worked with the venue to offer a menu that they can serve efficiently to our guests.
Hopefully you'll enjoy all the other lovely food."

Bitchywaitress Thu 14-Feb-19 20:44:05

What is the made up starter anyway? Greeen salad is one thing, prawn cocktail quite another!

greenlynx Thu 14-Feb-19 20:44:20

I would reply that you approached the venue and they said that as they made exception for your already ( 3 choices) unfortunately they can’t do any further changes. Something along this lines. Don’t tell anyone that you didn’t approach the venue. Be super polite. And wait a little bit before contacting this relative to make impression that you contacted the venue.

mumsiedarlingrevolta Thu 14-Feb-19 20:45:36

Absolutely do not capitulate.

You have very generously offered choices.
The person is a grown up.
Either pick one of the choices or leave it.
They are being shockingly rude and entitled.
They will survive what they consider a disappointing starter!!

JRMisOdious Thu 14-Feb-19 20:48:23

Bloody cheek. 3 choices is plenty at someone else’s expense.

ApolloandDaphne Thu 14-Feb-19 20:48:55

So it is only the starter options they don't like? They will just have to suck it up. It won't kill them to only eat the main and the pudding.

Lucked Thu 14-Feb-19 20:49:02

Well they aren’t going to go hungry with a main course and dessert so I would be tempted to say no. If the venue is a hotel with other guests there might have soup or something they could offer with no prep.

But yes your relative is giving me the rage on your behalf.

lljkk Thu 14-Feb-19 20:49:10

This was MIL at our wedding. She literally eats the same small range of foods every day.

tbf, MIL didn't ask us for anything, we just thought she'd struggle to eat anything at the buffet. DH was sweating over it. Other guests took her under wing & she discovered a new food she liked (sweet potato) as well as made some new friends and actually tried some different things. All good!!

Hold your ground.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Thu 14-Feb-19 20:50:40

They actually have 4 choices, the 4th being no starter...

MustBeAWeasly Thu 14-Feb-19 20:51:56

Three choices is amazing. We both got a choice and our guests got what they were given. I did ask for a special meal for my brother in law but it was easy he just had a larger version of the kids meal 🙄

Disfordarkchocolate Thu 14-Feb-19 20:54:06

You're being more than reasonable giving so much choice. Nobody will starve missing a starter.

StitchingMoss Thu 14-Feb-19 20:55:02

Tell them no and don’t be too sympathetic about it. Can’t bear fussy eaters. Two courses is more than enough - they won’t starve!

miltonroad Thu 14-Feb-19 20:56:53

What are the choices? But no, don’t pander to them, main and pudding are more than enough

Wakk Thu 14-Feb-19 20:57:26

Just say, oh that's not possible, they've been really helpful but can't offer us individual options. Did you want to pick one of the other or just skip that course?

Flibbertyjib Thu 14-Feb-19 20:58:11

Thanks! Definitely given me perspective. Yes its cheese garlic bread but the starters are not anything like this so couldn't even modify a starter I don't even know if they do it!
Thanks for the replies I think telling them I asked the venue and they said no is the best bet! Just glad people agree that I shouldn't bend over backwards to accommodate this...there is bread on the table anyway!

OP’s posts: |
rachelfrost Thu 14-Feb-19 20:59:44

Coming up next: the flower arrangements clash with their outfit.

Flibbertyjib Thu 14-Feb-19 21:02:50

They are sitting far away from me as I cannot watch them push their food round their plates like I have poisoned them! angry

OP’s posts: |
BlueCornishPixie Thu 14-Feb-19 22:09:57

You can't just randomly ask for cheesy garlic bread!

Just say no, tell them the venue can't accommodate it if you need an excuse.

If it was something easy like a green salad or they asked for a modification. So if it was pate and toast just the toast and chutney or something I might consider it. But you can't just ask for something no where to be seen.

They can either slick something on the menu for them to attempt/give to a mate or not have any starter. The other option I suppose is if the venue offers a children's or vegan starter that they might like. But I would be pissed off at the request so probably wouldn't be too accomodating

DerelictWreck Thu 14-Feb-19 22:38:05

That's so random shock

Who just randomly asks for cheesy garlic bread to be served to them on demand gringrin

Coconutty Thu 14-Feb-19 23:08:09

Cheesy garlic bread? Where does she think you're getting married? Pizza Hut?

PCohle Thu 14-Feb-19 23:11:11

CF! And I say that as a fussy eater myself. Surely anyone in their right mind just asks for the option they like the best (or that their spouse would enjoy eating two of).

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