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Nephew and Bridezilla

(32 Posts)
Moilgrove Sat 09-Feb-19 18:18:50

AIB overly sensitive? DH's nephew is getting married, all first cousins,their partners and their children are invited to fancy country house wedding for the weekend except our son and daughter. No explanation given but DH' s sister has spoken to bridezilla who does not want "strangers" at HER wedding . FFS. Is it not HIS bloody wedding too? DH has refused to attend without our kids (both adults) . Money not an issue, both families loaded.

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MrDarcyWillBeMine Sat 09-Feb-19 22:06:47

Have you DC not met the bridezilla??

I agree that they should have been invited either way if the groom wanted them!

On saying that, I’m getting married this summer and DP was pretty pants with his invite list. It was only once I drew up the list and sent it to his mum that another 5-6 day guests who ‘should be invited’ were added 😂

Beebumble2 Sun 10-Feb-19 08:40:37

We had this at a family wedding. We didn’t go, especially as they invited one of our adult sons plus his family and not the other. No apparent reason or explanation!

Moilgrove Sun 10-Feb-19 16:30:21

None of us have met Bridezilla. Described by FAL to be as strong willed!
Also found out that DH family are staying at the country house, except us. DH older sister who is travelling overseas was asked for contributions towards accommodation by Bridezilla, when brother in law (nephew's father) found out he was pissed off and offered to pay for her! Double standards.

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SnuggyBuggy Sun 10-Feb-19 16:40:08

Are the other cousins all quite close to the nephew? It's the only logical explanation I can think of

freerangechocolateegg Sun 10-Feb-19 16:59:08

How close are the cousins? If they rarely see each other I totally understand not inviting them.
The B&G would probably rather have close friends at their wedding than distant relatives.
I think it's poor form to decline because your adult DC aren't invited.

SheWoreBlueVelvet Sun 10-Feb-19 19:21:27

I agree with freerange that her comments imply she has met the other cousins. Otherwise they’d be strangers too.
I don’t see why adult first cousins need an invite although I can see why you’re a bit upset that all the other cousins were. There must be some actual reason for that though. Do they live close by, were they closer in age growing up, are their parents better at keeping up with the family than your DH?
I have masses (20+) of first cousins. I only invited one!

thecatsthecats Tue 12-Feb-19 16:38:17

So you haven't met her, and you're going off the opinions of others who don't know her well? And your only other knowledge of her is that THEY haven't invited your son and his partner? Not exactly a unbiased witness...

Sounds like your nephew isn't that fussed about your son. He hasn't troubled to introduce him to his fiance after all, has he? If he was really important in his life, surely they'd have met? And even after all that... if he really cared, he'd insist he'd be invited to the wedding.

Moilgrove Tue 12-Feb-19 18:20:14

Not an opinion but a fact from Nephew's own father, who called Bridezilla(his future daughter in law) difficult and strong willed. My son and daughter (not partner) have a great relationship with their cousin, consensus is that she is not a welcome addition to DH family.

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PatriciaHolm Tue 12-Feb-19 18:31:28

Well, it's not such a great relationship if they haven't met the woman he's marrying.

And "difficult and strong willed" could easily mean "dared to have a mind of her own".

You have clearly made your mind up about her.

Moilgrove Tue 12-Feb-19 20:48:57

Not just me and DH, Nephew's brother can't stand her. Think that says a lot about her having a "mind of her own".

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greendale17 Tue 12-Feb-19 20:50:40

I wouldn’t go

Snappedandfarted2019 Tue 12-Feb-19 20:57:30

I wouldn’t want strangers I never met at my wedding either, I don’t blame her. Also most family weddings I went to I paid my own accommodation

Mumshappy Tue 12-Feb-19 21:07:20

They arent strangers to your dhs nephew. I wouldnt go.

Moilgrove Tue 12-Feb-19 21:07:39

Thanks Greendale. Not going!

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user1493413286 Tue 12-Feb-19 21:09:17

I’m not sure why we’re blaming her; it’s your nephews wedding and if he wanted his cousins there then he should have said. Money may not be an issue but normally you only get a certain amount of spaces and you don’t know if he’d already got his “half” invited and agreed not to include your children.
Also if she hadn’t met your children then I would question whether there’s a close relationship.
At my wedding my cousin came as I actually see him regularly but DHs didn’t because he hasn’t seen them for ages and don’t often speak; their parents came mainly because it was important to DHs parents

Moilgrove Wed 13-Feb-19 08:12:40

At the end of the day, isn't a wedding just a big expensive party where you meet new people, catch up with family you probably don't see enough of due to time or distance and celebrate new additions to that family. Thanks you to everyone for your advice and comments.

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ForgivenessIsDivine Wed 13-Feb-19 08:28:35

So how did the other cousins make the cut??

When we got married, I picked my favourite 10 out of 50!! One auntie had a huff that all her children didn't get invited so she and her husband and two of their daughters and their partners were last minute no shows.

SnuggyBuggy Wed 13-Feb-19 08:31:12

I think if you don't make the effort to spend time with family or arrange get togethers you can't complain if they lose interest in you and focus on the people who are present in their lives.

Moilgrove Wed 13-Feb-19 09:04:38

Always make the effort. In fact the last family christening and birthday party ,nephew and bridezilla were no shows.
Also she is making all the decisions about wedding because it's her day , groom gets no say.

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SnuggyBuggy Wed 13-Feb-19 09:24:44

It sounds like the DN is equally to blame though

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin Wed 13-Feb-19 09:30:16

No explanation given but DH' s sister has spoken to bridezilla who does not want "strangers" at HER wedding

I would disagree that no reason was given and would say that your DN’s fiancée only wants guests that she has met. Why haven’t they met her? Surely, as you say they are adults, they should have made the effort?

Moilgrove Wed 13-Feb-19 15:31:47

Not only her wedding day but nephew's as well! And our children are not strangers they are first cousins. As before, we have attended all family gatherings. Not always possible with a busy life to see everyone all the time but have always tried to keep in touch. DH comes from a very close family, that's why it's upsetting for him to be with ALL his family at the wedding except our children. The rest of his family are dumbfounded especially his sister who is travelling overseas to attend and is especially close to our children.

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Moilgrove Wed 13-Feb-19 16:17:56

Splitting hairs here, but we have never met her so she has invited strangers - us!

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QforCucumber Wed 13-Feb-19 16:23:55

Meh, my cousins aren't invited to my wedding as I haven't seen them in over 10 years. We have invited my Aunt and Uncle though as see them more often (maybe once a year still)
DH to be is the same, some cousins not invited who he also hasn't seen in years and years. Not quite sure of the big deal tbh, maybe they are stuck on numbers and have had to eliminate those who they don't see often?

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