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Do the bridesmaids pick the dress or do I?

(16 Posts)
Prosecco94 Sun 06-Jan-19 10:41:53

So I’m paying for the dresses, I have 4 bridesmaids and have said £100 max each. If they want a £200 dress they’ll have to buy their own! (You can get really nice dresses for £100 these days so don’t see the point in paying £200+ each!!) I have found some really lovely ones, but it’s not going to be me wearing them! Last year I found 4 different styles that I liked and sent them all to my bridesmaids, different people liked different ones and so we didn’t really get anywhere!

I would like to start ordering some in the next month or so just so it’s done and out of the way and leaves time for alterations etc.

Do I just say ‘right, I like this, if there’s no major complaints I’ll order 4 and we can have a trying on session at mine when they arrive’ or do I let them pick their dresses?

OP’s posts: |
Raven88 Sun 06-Jan-19 10:45:59

It's up to you, I picked mine but I also asked my bridemaids what was important to them. Length and bust support where the main worries mine. I was lucky enough to have a dress maker in the family so all my dresses where made to fit them.

Kannet Sun 06-Jan-19 10:47:16

I let my bridesmaid choose, I have them a budget and said they had to pay the difference and if they chose something over that amount. It worked really well

mysteryfairy Sun 06-Jan-19 10:51:42

I love the look where there is a colour scheme agreed but the bridesmaids all wear dresses in that colour that suit them. Would you consider doing that? Then if anyone wants to go over budget it doesn’t compel the others.

Doje Sun 06-Jan-19 10:57:54

I took one bridesmaid shopping with me (would have also taken the other if she was around too) and told them the sort of colour I wanted. We then looked together, but gave her free rein as to what she chose. If she'd have chosen something aweful I'd have vetoed it though! We then checked the other bridesmaid was happy with the choice.

Icklepickle101 Mon 07-Jan-19 13:18:37

I sent mine 3 houses and the most popular one won! When they arrived if anyone had really hated it I would have reconsidered

needadviceeeee Mon 07-Jan-19 13:23:35

It's your wedding it's up to you 😘 I know I'd be picking them for mine Haha xx congrats by the way when is the big day

WhatchaMaCalllit Mon 07-Jan-19 13:36:57

Can you pick a colour that you want them to wear and say that you will contribute £100 per dress if they select them from X range/designer/brand but if they want a different dress that isn't by that designer/brand/in that range they have to pay the difference?

Watters for example has loads of different style dresses in the exact same shade so if one of your bridesmaids was particularly busty (for example) she may prefer a dress that isn't strapless and this could be done in this brand.

SheWoreBlueVelvet Mon 07-Jan-19 18:10:57

I let mine chose their own and it was a nightmare. They were all too polite about what looked nice on each other. They all had very different tastes - low cut, super modest and high fashion and two would chose the same dress ( I had given them a vague colour range) meaning the third looked awkward.
In the end I bought the same really inexpensive dress from ASOS for them all which went with mine perfectly. I didn’t want matching bridesmaid but I had no choice.

lazyarse123 Mon 07-Jan-19 21:41:31

My dd is going to be a bridesmaid and the bride has just told her a colour that she would like included and the style is up to dd. I went to a wedding with 6 adult bridesmaids all in fucshia pink but very different styles, so the bigger girls got the support they needed. They looked great.

catmumof1 Tue 08-Jan-19 16:08:50

I let mine have input on what they didn't want in a dress. ie one of my bms is tall so didn't want full length because they're often too short (I was 100% buying highstreet not from a wedding shop), another wanted something flared/skater as they found it most flattering, and they all wanted something they could wear a normal bra with!
I bought all the dresses from ChiChi London, ordered a load of sizes and I sent back the ones that didn't fit.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Tue 08-Jan-19 16:10:39

I picked my bridesmaids dresses. I asked them all individually first what was important for them to feel comfortable e.g. my sister didn't want clingy as she is rather larger than the others.

Ended up finding something which flattered them all nicely.

canonlyhopexo Tue 08-Jan-19 16:13:54

I've only ever been a bridesmaid once as that was as maid of honour for my sister. She gave me a choice of colours and suggested a couple of dresses but we went shopping and I picked one out. She did had a rough budget but when we found the one I got it was slightly more expensive but she loved it too so paid the difference for me. I am now due to get married and she will be my maid of honour in return. I'm not fussed she can have whatever she wants and I'll just pay. As she did for me smile

canibehereifimnotamum Tue 08-Jan-19 16:19:13

With my bridesmaids we all looked together but I had a colour scheme I wanted- we went shopping found a dress, it looked nice was a nice colour and a steal at £60! Everyone was happy. When I've been a BM I've had no say, im Moh this year and the bride will prob pick the dress. I'll wear whatever she picks even if I don't like it, it's her day!

ShalomJackie Tue 08-Jan-19 16:33:33

There are sites that do mismatched bridesmaid - so different styles ( to suit all shapes) but in the same fabric. That may work for 4 of them!

One example: ( I just googled different bridesmaid dresses but same fabric)

SuziQ10 Tue 08-Jan-19 17:01:32

I got married last July.
I have my bridesmaids a budget of £65 to buy a nice dress. They are stunning girls so could wear a bin bag and look hot. They had the option to get different dresses or the same .. they chose the same. Lovely dresses that were £90 and they paid the difference.
I paid £45 each for make up on the day and £60 hair. So I felt that £170 on each girl was enough.
No need to spend a fortune on bridesmaids dresses they only get worn once.

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