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Quiet Hen Do

(20 Posts)
merlotmummy14 Mon 06-Aug-18 23:17:17

I don't actually know if this is the right thread or not but mumsnet can change it if not. Getting married next June so have time to think on it. Nearly everything organised but not sure if I want to do the big drunken hen do thing. I'm 20 and I have a 4 month old and on the few nights I've been out on since I haven't enjoyed as much as I did before I got pregnant. Just feel a bit out of place and thinking how immature everyone my age seems worried about silly drama and unimportant stuff. Can't be arsed putting a ton of make up on that is sweated off by 1am and heels that just make me wobble (I wear my trusty checkerboard vans instead). Still have baby weight so I feel like a right old bore amongst all the skinny ma linkeys with legs up to their eyes (worse cause that was me a year ago). Just want to be comfy at home with the baby and dp watching netflix and doing uni work in bed by midnight at latest. AIBU to say fuck it and do a night at my mums with the girls etc with prosecco and a bunch of lush face masks and skincare. Could get a woman I know to come do pedicures, put on a few Abba albums and maybe order some pizzas or a fuck tonne of Chinese. Comfy clothes required (nobody squeezing themselves into skinny jeans they have to get their partners to peel off them at the end of the night). My mum's got a hot tub too that we could relax in. Could even make a large bowl of pimms and do make your own cocktails for those who do want to drink. Or do it like an Abba themed night and everybody dresses Abba themed. Will people judge me for not doing a big night out or say stupid shit like 'you only get once in your life to go mental and you missed it?' I just feel I experimented with alcohol and drugs in my teens really extremely and I really don't miss it at all if anything I want to forget I was ever so naive as it was really dodgy stuff. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and go back to being a mum without a hangover. My other friends getting married all want to go to Amsterdam, Berlin, Magaluf for a wild one and I just feel very out of place that I don't know how to tell them I'm not going to do that and I'm probably not going to have more than my usual glass or 2 of merlot.

pompomcat Tue 07-Aug-18 12:27:16

That sounds like a fabulous hen do OP-do what feels right for you. In my experience people will welcome the idea of doing something low key that is genuinely relaxing and fun, rather than spending ££££ going abroad on endless nights out.

Congratulations on your engagement and your baby, and hope you have a very happy marriage too.

pompomcat Tue 07-Aug-18 12:28:25

Btw love the ABBA theme idea too

WishUponAStar88 Tue 07-Aug-18 12:31:06

Takeaway/ pimms/ hottub/ ABBA sounds like a perfect hen do! Agree that others will likely welcome the idea of a low key hen do rather than forking out £££.

moreismore Tue 07-Aug-18 12:34:51

This sounds like the best hen do ever! Do it do it do it!

LoveInTokyo Tue 07-Aug-18 12:35:25

What everyone else said. You do you. And have fun!

Shoxfordian Tue 07-Aug-18 13:12:43

Do whatever you would like to do, you're the bride! Sounds fun to me

Chasingsquirrels Tue 07-Aug-18 13:17:37

Do whatever you like.

I've been married twice and have had a total of zero hen-do's. If I ever get married again I don't be adding to that.

welshcake82 Tue 07-Aug-18 13:22:28

That sounds great and I bet others will secretly love it, not having to traipse out and spend a fortune. I had two quiet hen dos, nice meals with friends. Was lovely.

emwithme Tue 07-Aug-18 13:32:41

I had a "hen don't". Half a dozen of us went out for all you can eat Chinese food. Was fabulous...just what I wanted!

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens Tue 07-Aug-18 14:08:00

I'd adore that as a hen do! Yes please

happymummy12345 Tue 07-Aug-18 14:13:46

I never had a hen night at all.
In fact my mum had booked tickets for the 2 of us to go to the theatre for my birthday, long before there was any talk of us getting married. Anyway we ended up ttc, I got pregnant and we decided we wanted to be married before the baby was born and before I was showing. So we had a 3 month engagement and planned the wedding in 2. Purely by coincidence our Wesson day ended up being the day after our theatre trip. So my birthday night out became my hen night. Literally stuck a bride to be sash on and that was it.

moonlight1705 Tue 07-Aug-18 14:18:37

Sounds great - one of my friends did a BBQ at her house and we all dressed up as film characters and everyone brought something to entertain i.e. a game they knew, a magic trick, a song etc.

Low-key can be awesome if that is what you want.

CaptainCallisto Tue 07-Aug-18 14:38:13

I had a very low-key hen; just my mum and sister, and my two best friends, eating bucket loads of Chinese takeaway and watching trashy rom-coms in our PJ's.

I'm not a night on the town sort of person so it seemed daft doing it just because it was expected.

Your evening sounds brilliant! Just do what you want and will feel comfortable with. I guarantee your friends will have a better evening with a happy you than they would if you just went along with what you think people expect smile

Givealittlebit Tue 07-Aug-18 14:52:08

Sounds like a brilliant hen do! I had a weekend in a school house in the uk. Rain,canoeing and takeaways and it was heaven. People will be happy to do anything, it's about you!

IsTheRainEverComingBack Sat 11-Aug-18 08:46:51

One of the best Hen Do’s I’ve been to was very like. We all went to brides house, wore pyjamas, made cocktails, ordered Indian and pizza and got in the hot tub with Prosecco. Those that wanted to stayed the night. Honestly it was fab and you won’t regret it.

IsTheRainEverComingBack Sat 11-Aug-18 08:47:04

Very like this*

5068TLM Tue 28-Aug-18 15:15:47

I don't understand how people expect people they say they like to stump up so much money to go on expensive hen nights and stag dos. It's a real strain on most people's finances to go along with spending their hard earned cash on what someone else wants them to do. Totally unreasonable IMO and a clear sign that the BTB/BTB don't really sh!t a monkeys tail about the people they invite/expect to come.

It's great to hear of a hen night that your friends will actually be able to afford to attend, not have to stress about the amount of money they are obliged to spend attending. It may suit you, but trust me, it'll suit everyone's budget even better, they'll actually, really be able enjoy themselves.

RuleBreaker Tue 28-Aug-18 18:07:21

I would LOVE this as a hen do - can I come?!

lucieloops88 Tue 28-Aug-18 18:42:37

Sounds like a great hen do to me! I'm not going out either, having a murder mystery style hen at home organised by my MOHs. You shouldn't agree to something you'll hate just because you feel it's what you should be doing smile

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