Who sat on your top table?(22 Posts)
Trying to work out who goes where, and whether to have a top table or just another round table. One set of parents still together, one set of divorced parents to organise too!
We had bride, groom, best man, only adult bridesmaid, my mum and dad and dh's mum and dad.
Our tables were in an E shape, top table along the back with 3 tables coming off it.
It went: mother of the groom, father of the groom, best man, groom, bride, father of the bride, bridesmaid, mother of the bride. (My parents are divorced and my mum didn't want to sit beside my dad. Plus it meant she was technically still at the top table, and also still next to my stepdad and my siblings. So it worked much better like that).
Our families don't know each other well, so it was easier to do it that way. The rest of dh's family sat at the table coming off his end of the top table. The rest of my family sat at the table coming off my end of the top table. And everyone else sat at the middle table. There was no seating plan, we didn't want one. We were only sat there for speeches, as we didn't have a sit down meal.
Me and groom
My mum and dad
His mum and dad
Best Man, Chief Bridesmaid (my sister)
Our baby daughter and toddler niece (who was sent home with the other grandparents with her baby brother as she wasn't enjoying it), replaced the latter with our wedding photographer who was going to eat his lunch in the side room!
We were in the same position my parents are divorced! We kept top table for just us, bridesmaids and groomsmen. We then sat each set of parents at their own tables with their immediate family right in front of us (my parents at separate tables with their own families).
Worked well as the room was small but we did toy with the idea of the top table being just the two of us but decided against it in the end.
The table plan was my least favorite part of organizing our wedding, lots of wine was required.
From left to right.
Maid of honour, Father in law, mum, husband, me, step dad, mother in law, best man
Step dad in place of dad because he IS my dad and my real dad could be dead in a ditch and I wouldn’t know about it.
Me, DH, my mum, his mum, my dad, his dad, best man, 1 of 2 bridesmaids who happeneds to be DH’s sister.
My other bridesmaid is my SIL and she and my brother hosted their own table. As did both my BILs and their wives.
Me, DH, my mum and dad, best man, chief bridesmaid, DH's mum and his sister (he is NC with his dad).
If you want to go 'traditional' the parents are generally separated to bride's mum will sit with groom's dad, so that will help any awkwardness with divorced parents. Partners will just have to sit elsewhere.
Otherwise just have the partners up there too. It's totally up to you!
We had a round table among all the other tables, roughly in the middle. Me, DH, my parents, DH's brother, my maid of honour and (I think, it's a really long time ago) a couple of friends of my parents to make it up to eight people.
I might have been inclined to keep my parents and his parents together on the top table but as my husbands parents are divorced I decided to go with the traditional top table and it seemed to work well
Well.... im going to throw a spanner in the works for you! My family are from Bermuda, and over there it is customary for the parents to host their own tables and only bridal party on top table. So we have bride, groom the his groomsmen to the grooms side and the bridesmaids sit on the brides side. No hassles over divorced parents and who sits where. My mom hosts her own table and my other halfs host their own. Some people dont approve but thats how its done for us. The venue loved the idea and asked permission to offer the idea to other couples who were struggling with family dynamics ( my parents are divorced, so are my other half's who cannot be seated near each other so logistical nightmare for "traditional" top table) my mom hosts her table, his mom hers and his dad his. Job done
One set of parents separated and the other set dead so we had us, best man & wife, head bridesmaid & partner and our 2 DC. Dad saw the reasoning behind it, mum kicked off at being 'excluded' and made her feelings very clear. Delightful woman, haven't spoken to her since!
We had, from left to right...
His step dad
His step mum
He's much closer to his dad and step mum, they've been together since he was about 2 whereas his mum has only been with his step dad since he's been an adult, also much closer to his dad for other reasons so it was a no brainer which set of parents sat closer to him.
He didn't want his step dad on top table but I insisted because everyone being happy and comfortable was the most important thing, and he was four seats away so not exactly affecting him in any way!
Us, bridesmaids and ushers, and their OHs.
We get in really well with family (when we told some people this arrangement they assumed there was some difficult politics), but we had a special smaller celebration the day after just with family, so I prioritised friends on the day.
I also wanted to be able to talk l people, which meant a not giant round table!
Thank you for these ideas. Considering just having a round table with us and bridesmaids and grooms men, and either side a table with parents. Round tables mean you can turn your chair easily to face another table so nobody should be feeling left out I hope
Ours hasn't happened yet but I think we are going to have me, OH, two bridesmaids (plus one bridesmaid's partner), two best men (plus one best man's wife).
Parents will sit with their friends.
We had our parents, best man and best man's wife and baby. We didn't want her to have to sit on her own managing a baby whilst trying to eat so we thought it would be nicer if she could sit with her husband. Bridesmaids sat with their parents as they were teenagers. Our top table was round like the others so it wasn't a traditional top table as such.
We had one set of divorced parents, and did almost the same as Smurfy. We sat in a semi-circle, B&G, best man and chief bridesmaid (other one was a small child who sat with her parents).
Parents and close family sat on tables directly in front.
My mum liked it; said she could watch us enjoying ourselves throughout the reception. 😊
We had a round table with my parents, DH parents and my nan.
All bridesmaids and groomsmen sat with their own partners/friends/parents.
A friend of mine had round tables, her parents on one, his parents on another, bridesmaids and groomsmen with their partners and they (bride and groom) sat at a different trable for each course of their meal which was really lovely and meant they saw everyone, although it was a smallish wedding so not too many tables.
Me & exH only had one brother each so it was a no brainier:
My brother, my mum, my dad, me, him, his mum, his dad, his brother
His brother was best man. Bridesmaid sat with usher (no partners & they were friends) at first table with other closest relatives (no grandparents still alive but a very close Aunt, a great aunt - grandmas sister, a great uncle - grandpas brother etc)
We had a sweetheart top table, just me and my husband, and honestly it was the best decision. It was so nice to be able to get some 1 on 1 time with him and discuss our days so far.
Both our parents are divorced and all re-partnered, and whilst the partners wouldn't have minded at all if we had a traditional top table, we just felt like everyone would feel much more comfortable and relaxed sat in their couples.
We had a small wedding and I loved that there was no ‘top table’ nonsense!
Me and groom , my parents , his parents , best man and his wife and baby
It was a square table , with a high chair on the corner
Very laid back wedding though
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now »
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.