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Non cringe worthy wedding invite gift list.

(11 Posts)
Fondantfancypant Sat 10-Feb-18 13:48:52

For the day guest invites we would like to ask for cash if anyone wanted to give anything. We would put it towards some sort of honeymoon - we pretty much decided we would go all out on food/drink for our guests so everyone has a great time so no budget for honeymoon.
Would it seem less grabby to just simply have - if anyone wishes to give a gift, please could we have a contribution for our honeymoon.
I hate the whole poem thing many of them are too long winded for me. It makes me uncomfortable the whole thing really! I know our family will want to give something, so I would rather give direction or we would probably end up with 50 interesting ornaments for our flat!

JediStoleMyBike Sat 10-Feb-18 13:50:15

I'm not sure but would vouchers for a travel agent be less crass? I have no idea, sorry!

Hengine Sat 10-Feb-18 13:59:03

We just had no list and most people then have us money anyway but it was a choice and not asked for.
We also got some gifts so maybe not an option if you really just want cash but I felt it was rude to specify and didn’t want to miss out on thoughtful gifts (like a handmade photo album)

Fondantfancypant Sat 10-Feb-18 14:13:28

Yes I think that's a point it would be fun getting thoughtful gifts. I think it's the only way it wouldn't seem rude.

SundaysFunday Sat 10-Feb-18 14:48:33

I think people mostly give cash, I would not say anything about gifts. If anyone asks you, say cash would be welcome or if anyone asks in-laws or parents etc then to say the same thing.

You will get mostly cash and won't appear grabby or cringy trying to ask for it politely.

RebeccaCloud9 Sat 10-Feb-18 16:09:06

Every wedding I have been to in the last few years has asked for cash. It's fine in real life and people don't think it's rude! I prefer your suggestion to a poem though.

DexyMidnight Sun 11-Feb-18 10:52:24

I honestly don't mind a polite 'no gifts necessary but if you insist cash for honeymoon/house would b lovely' messages but if you think there's a risk anyone would take it in the wrong spirit do as suggested above and say nothing. 99% of people won't come empty handed and 85% of them will give a cheque. The other 15% will give a gift of their choosing (something traditionally gift listy) but that's lovely too.

peachypetite Sun 11-Feb-18 10:53:42

I felt too grabby to put anything on our invite about gifts. That's not why we got married. But in the end nearly everyone gave us cash anyway.

HumbleCrumble Sun 11-Feb-18 17:43:26

I don't think it's rude to ask for cash at all but my DM disagreed, so we've gone down the route of putting nothing on the invites at all. That way people can give, or not give, whatever they feel comfortable with. A few people have asked and we just say that a bit of spending money for the honeymoon would be lovely, but we don't need gifts so it's entirely up to them.

newmum7369 Sun 11-Feb-18 18:40:52

Personally I think what you've suggested is fine, I've read similar in wedding invites and have never ever thought it was grabby. Usually I'm relieved because it's an easy present that I know the couple are going to appreciate and make good use of.

If I've seen something that I know the couple would particularly like I just get it for them anyway, regardless of the fact that they've asked for cash instead. Ditto if they've put together a wedding list and I've seen something that's not on it but I know they'd love.

We had a list when we got married, some people bought from the list, some people gave us presents not on the list, some people gave vouchers or cash and some people gave a card and no git. All lovely and totally appreciated.

Fondantfancypant Sun 11-Feb-18 19:32:00

Thanks all, definitely food for thought. I think we are swaying towards not putting a list, then people don't feel like they have to give more than they can afford.

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