Second thoughts about bridesmaids

[TheHodgeHeg]

I asked a couple of friends to be bridesmaids at my wedding next year. I've got some family members as well so quite a few bridesmaids in total.

I'm a bit annoyed with the two non family bridesmaids though. My fiance's mum died and I haven't heard a peep from them! I messaged everyone who we've invited to the wedding because I wanted them all to know the situation and that we're not cancelling the wedding etc. I got a one line response from each saying "sorry for your loss" or something like that. Nothing else. I guess maybe I shouldn't have expected more but just a text asking how I was doing would have been appreciated.

I'm not sure I can really un-invite them from being bridesmaids cause it might be horribly awkward. But I feel so annoyed right now! Is it possible to un-invite a bridesmaid and still maintain a friendship?

[Beelzebop]

I would imagine that it will cause. A. friendship ending row, even if you ANBU. Good luck!

[Lollipop30]

No I doubt you can maintain a friendship however work out if it’s a friendship worth saving if you feel like this.
A friend of mine bailed on me with being bridesmaid. I was in hospital for a few weeks in ICU with Sepsis, she felt I was being selfish as I hadn’t contacted her to let her know. She did me a favour, I don’t miss the friendship at all. We had some great times but essentially it had run its course and I actually found her far too self-centred by then.
On the other hand one of my best friends had a group of friends that were her bridesmaids, her parents became very ill and they were about as helpful as yours sound. She kept them as bridesmaids. A year later they ditched her totally. She now has them all on her wedding pictures featuring heavily which is a constant reminder.
I was bridesmaid to an ex friend a couple of years ago. Basically as I didn’t have the guts to say no when she asked. I think she probably regrets it sorely I know I regret saying yes. Over the time of organising the wedding I realised how little I knew or liked her. She probably thought the same but likewise didn’t want to hurt feelings.

[TheHodgeHeg]

You're right Lolli that they're not as close friends as I thought. I do still like them though and don't feel like the friendship has run its course (maybe just settled into a less close relationship than it used to be).

We're not doing lots of group photos at the wedding so that's not too much of a concern. And thinking about it I'll probably have them all in mismatched dresses. I'm glad I posted this thread because I've now thought of the mismatched dresses which I really like the idea of!