Finding it hard not to dwell on the fact that in-laws to be have (19 months before the date) said they can’t/don’t want to attend our wedding.
Partner and I booked our wedding 6 weeks ago for summer 2019, we live in Kent and it’ll be in Scotland where DH’s parents are originally from; and a place I have totally fallen for. Lots of positive ‘can’t wait’ replies from our nearest and dearest invitees who we’ve told either over text or in conversation when we’ve seen them since booking it. One of partner’s siblings however has (over the weekend) said him and his DW (and their 10 year old) won’t be coming, after he was initially delighted about it. I appreciate invites are just that – invites and not mandatory – but it feels like something’s changed here. No reason why, just a “we’re not going to come to the wedding” text.
They live in the midlands but we visit them every 6-8 weeks. Their daughter is partner’s only niece and we love seeing her too. To get to Scotland for them will involve either a plane or long car/train journey and then a drive/taxi at the other end, so again I appreciate it’s not as ‘convenient’ as it would have been if it was somewhere they could come on the day and go home from the same night.
It’s in the school holidays and they’re both teachers; so no issues with regards to anyone missing work or school. But, I guess we just have to be conscious of the fact that it’s a cost; and freewill – they can’t be forced to come. We’ve been together 10 years and I’ve known them all this time (I did feel like we were already family!) so it’s just a bit upsetting that they don’t view our wedding as an important enough event to come to. Both partner and I have been down all day thinking about it and confused. Maybe we’ll get more info from them when we next see them in person, the whole thing just feels odd.
I’m sure any responses will say we don’t know what their financial situation is – which is true we don’t really, however they’re big savers and have no qualms about telling anyone who’ll listen about ways they save £. Maybe they just see having to book and pay for transport and a hotel for 2 nights as a cost they don’t have to part with and that a wedding card and/or present to us will do?
I very much live by the ‘each to their own’ motto but today i’m finding it really hard to lift myself about this. Do we reply saying “really sorry you won’t be able to make it, can we ask if it’s any specific about the wedding that’s a reason you can’t all come?” or is that snooping?
Chat to other Mumsnetters on our Wedding forum.
Weddings
Family turning down our invite - sorry, long winded one
System0matix · 13/11/2017 17:50
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.