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Problems with Sister In Law

(11 Posts)
Milena1979 Wed 04-Oct-17 16:39:02

Hi Everyone,
My brother in law is due to get married in two weeks time. My sister in law to be has had 2 hen do's which I found out about from Facebook posts and hasn't bothered to invite me to any of them. She had initially told my mother in law that she wasn't going to have any.
I don't know what has caused that hostility towards me.

I have always tried to make her feel welcome in my house and my in laws house. I have noticed that she has never made any effort to even have any conversation with me if we have attended same event. On couple of occasions we have been to her mum's house so that we can meet other of their relatives but they have not made any effort to talk to me which I find very frustrating and feel left out. I'm generally quiet and shy around people but I always make an effort to hold conversation when I'm included. Their behavior seems very odd and most of the conversation they have is around who works what job and how much wealth they have.

They are now going to have registry wedding this Saturday which we have been invited to followed by lunch at her mum's house. I don't mind going to the registry but I'm dreading going to her mum's house . My husband is of the same opinion as he basically cant stand them any more.
Is it me or something fishy is going on here :-(

reetgood Wed 04-Oct-17 16:42:10

I didn't go to my sil hen do. We get on well but it didn't occur to me that I'd go. Some people find the effort of sustaining a conversation solo to be a bit hard work. It sounds like you're different people, and unlikely to become best mates, but I don't get hostility from what you've posted?

Ttbb Wed 04-Oct-17 16:48:51

I think that you may just be from very different families. It would never occur to me to even have a hen party let alone invite my future sil to come along. Likewise i would be beyond embarrassed talking about money in public like that. Just be polite and that will be enough.

Mum4Fergus Wed 04-Oct-17 16:49:25

Just don't go...life's way to short to waste time on those behaviours.

Ghostontoast Wed 04-Oct-17 16:55:29

Go to the wedding and stay long enough at the lunch to eat and show your face but then make minimal effort and treat her like she treats you.

pioe Wed 04-Oct-17 20:27:55

So is it your husbands brothers wife to be? I'd not expect to be invited to that. I'd not want to invite my boyfriends brothers gIrlfriend to my hen do if I had one either. Hen dos are for mates as far as I'm concerned. Why do you want to go if you're not close at all?

Rubies12345 Fri 06-Oct-17 10:46:06

Maybe she just had her friends at her hen do?

I think your husband has to go to his brother's wedding, at least it's just lunch and not a full day and evening reception

flumpybear Fri 06-Oct-17 10:50:07

I’d be hoping I wasn’t invited had my BIL married the woman he had a child with, very pretentious and thought she was the bees knees ... I wouldn’t worry too much, I only invited very dear friends and wouldn’t have invited my brothers girlfriend i doubt

sizeofalentil Fri 06-Oct-17 10:52:03

There's no need to be passive aggressive about this, as you'll no doubt be advised to be here. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Go to the wedding and then go to the in-laws house for as long as you feel like.

Keep in mind, she might be shy/socially awkward/getting odd vibes from you too. I have a friend whose friend I ALWAYS thought hated me. Turns out, she thought I hated her. So we had both been brittle and spikey around each other for months, thinking that the other one had a weird grudge against us, and no idea what we'd done to deserve it!

Maybe you did something that rubber her up the wrong way early on, and she got the wrong impression? Or maybe she's naturally a cold-er person that you are.

It's totally ok for the two of you not to become friends (as sad as it is) but as long as she isn't being rude or mean to you, it's not so bad.

Waitingonasmile Fri 06-Oct-17 11:03:55

What she did sounds normal. confused I didn't invite my SIL to my hen-do and she didn't invite me to hers. I also didn't invite MIL to mine and neither did she. Our own mothers weren't there either. We had close friends and no one else.

I think you are being ridiculous and over reacting here. If she hadn't invited you to the wedding then fair enough, but she has! You are all adults so go and show face. If you feel so aggrieved you can leave early.

seven201 Fri 06-Oct-17 11:24:41

I wouldn't have expected to be invited to her hen do. She's quite far removed family wise and you've said you don't really get on that well. Why would she invite you? I think you're overthinking it.

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