Hello,
My fantastic boyfriend proposed to me recently. I was quite surprised as although we've been together for years, love each other and talk about our future together, we'd never really talked about marriage, and it's not something that's hugely important to me. I value love, security, commitment, our relationship and I'm looking forward to our future together but I've never been a girl who has been planning my wedding since I was a kid. I'm also not really a jewellery girl, I've never worn any jewellery, never had my ears pierced, never wear rings. The ring he proposed with looks lovely but I just feel it's wasted on me and I feel uncomfortable wearing it, both as I'm not used to wearing jewellery and due to the cost (which I accidentally found out when we went to the shop to for ring resizing and the shop assistant left the receipt in front of me). I talked to him about this and he tried to understand but was upset as it's the ring he chose, spent ages researching and wants me to have as that means a lot to him, which I understand. We went back to shops to look at others but I really didn't enjoy it, I found all the shop assistants fussing over us, being over friendly, asking how he proposed to be intimidating, fake, overwhelming and and all the expensive jewellery just really isn't my scene. Feels like putting a price on love and commitment, taking the love out of it. I wanted to get out of the shop, started to feel stupid and ungrateful so agreed to keep the ring. I've been trying to get used to it, I wear it most of the time when I'm with him but take it off when I get home and sometimes put it back in the box and in my bag when I'm out alone. I still feel very conscious of it and uncomfortable, it pokes my other figures, the diamond poking out scrapes on everything, it spins around sometimes and feels tight when I'm warm and I still feel really uncomfortable with the price. I'd must rather spend the money on holidays to have memories, on the wedding or save for a house. I know engagement rings are usually expensive and you have them forever, and it's his choice to pay that price, and it's a lovely gift, but I just really don't think it's me and I don't think a ring is necessary to show commitment, it's just a tradition and what people expect. I also find it a bit weird that the guy gets to choose but the girl has to wear it. Am I being crazy, over thinking it and being ungrateful for a lovely gift? I'm not sure how much longer to keep trying to get used to it or if I should talk to him about it again. Although I doubt the shop would take it back now as I've worn it a bit. Any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated, has anyone else felt similar and ended up getting used to it? Does anyone out there just not have an engagement ring?
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How to tell him I feel uncomfortable with the engagement ring?
46 replies
caracola · 26/08/2017 15:48
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