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How can I invite son without the mother?

(3 Posts)
libertyboy Mon 10-Jul-17 18:42:53

My son (10) wants to invite a friend to my wedding and has chosen his best friend which is fine.
Best friends since birth let's say as I'm friends with his mum.
His mum is a friend indeed and a lovely person...when she's sober.
She has a terrible problem with drink and drugs and the only way our friendship works now is if we see each other when she is sober. All social activities involving alcohol were axed years ago and that's fine.
Sons best friend lives with his grandparents now due to her problems but the boys see each other regularly.
Over the years everyone has tried to help her but whatever we've done/said hasn't worked so we leave her be now.
I don't want her at my wedding, she will drink and I don't want to babysit her obviously.
We met recently and it was lovely and normal as she was sober but she started getting excited about my wedding and saying she can't wait then said 'don't worry I'll be on my best behaviour!'.
I was a bit dumbstruck and didn't say anything at the time as maybe I expected her not to expect an invite because of the way our friendship is set up.
I want her son there, he's like family but I wouldn't invite his grandparents. I think he's old enough to come alone and be looked after with my son.
I don't want any drama over this so how can I put it nicely that her son is invited but she isn't?

WeAllHaveWings Mon 10-Jul-17 18:52:42

Honestly sounds like too much trouble and potential for misunderstanding if you can't speak to her straight, I'd tell ds to choose another friend.

nosleepforme Mon 10-Jul-17 19:00:05

the best way is probably to be honest with whoever he is staying with at the time. explain that ds feels very close to him and you really want him there but can extend an invite to ds friend only and not to any accompanying adults. explain of course that boys will have adequate supervision etc.
good luck and congrats!

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