Tried to organise hen night(12 Posts)
So I think that I'm being a ridiculous baby about this so iv not said it out loud to anyone else.
Since January I have tried to organise a hen party (my wedding is in 4 weeks), the fist suggestion no one liked and didn't want to come, so I thought up a second idea and no one could come to that as they were busy, the third idea again was called off as the people I wanted to come didn't want to.
My fiance is having his stag weekend this weekend and I'm dropping him at the airport tomorrow.
I think I just feel a bit low about the situation - I know in the grand scheme of things its a first world problem, but I feel sad about it. Should I just get a grip of myself and move on?
What did you try to arrange, was it very niche?
I've been to several hen dos I didn't like the sound of due to the activities but I went because I love my friends, but I refused to go to one, as I didn't want to pay £££ to do something I would actively hate.
Could it be the activities/cost causing an issue?
Could you do a good old fashioned curry and boozer night?
(The one I outright said no to involved pole dancing lessons, a male stripper and naked butlers.)
See I didn't think id gone crazy with the planning/activities.
1. Was country pub and a short walk (optional walk)
2. Spa day (because I thought people were put off by the pub/food idea)
3. Picnic lunch in the nice local park / river bank area. (because I thought it was the price putting people off)
Maybe there not the right types of thing to do I'm at a loss as to what to suggest now.
What do you think? Do they seem like niche ideas?
That's pretty shit mate. None of those ideas are "out there" or extravagant. Who cares if it's not someone's ideal way to spend a day? You've clearly put some thought into accommodating people, yet they still aren't able to commit to it. That's their issue, not yours.
Sorry you feel crap. A lot of wedding stuff can bring out social anxieties and worries about the number of friends you have, asking people to spend time/money on you etc- it did with me. If it wasn't for one of my BM's taking the bull by the horns I think I would've been in a very similar position.
Can you ask one of your bridesmaids or closest friends to come with you to get your nails done or something in the days before the wedding, then on out for a low key dinner/drinks? That's just an idea- at the end of the day the important bit is you're marrying the person you love. I can guarantee on the day you won't be giving a second thought to the hen stuff.
None of those sound too niche or expensive. It's the week long Marbella/Ibiza/stripper/feather boas and L plates ones I inwardly dread and yours sound nice and low key.
I think I'm your place I'd have a final go, suggesting a meal at a nice local restaurant (nice and special but not £200 a head Michelin star or anything) followed by cocktails/a few beers in a nice beer garden. No dress code or cheesy games.
Although....are your mates the type that like the full on cheesy hen do wth matching tshirts and a stripper?
It's a minefield. I sympathise.
I tell my friends if DP and I ever get married my hen do will consist of casual no dress code night of huge steaks, followed by my favourite whisky bar. Games and willy hats are banned.
Organise a meal out with the option of going to a pub afterwards.
Who are your bridesmaids, why aren't they belong you with this?
I think all your ideas are lovely btw.
Can you get someone to organise it for you? Someone you trust to not get carried away, but with the enthusiasm to get others involved too.
Thank you for your replies. Iv bucked myself up now and had a good nights sleep (which is normally rare!!)
I did ask a BM to help organise but she's just had a baby and my other BM has just changed job and has a longer commute so both are pretty busy.
I know in the scheme of things its not really important and its the getting married bit that's actually important, its like what Thecriac said I just feel a bit anxious about the situation and having no friends and iv let it get out of hand in my head.
That's a bit crappy of your bridesmaids. I've just watched my best friend get married, and I along with her other best friend organised two hen dos for her - one abroad and one in the U.K. I have a toddler, a full time job and a decent commute. The other bridesmaid lives in Australia and came over for a month for the wedding. We managed it. Your bridesmaids, at the very least the one who hasn't just become a mum, need to step up.
That's pretty rubbish of your friends. What kind of friends turn their noses up at any of the things you suggested? Compared with the international hen insanity that's wearily outlined on here sometimes, those sound like three ideal hen dos.
Did no one show any interest? I think if I were in that position, I'd be very tempted to bin the whole thing, and just spend a day indulging yourself somewhere nice - go to the spa and get everything done, not just one treatment. Relax properly, treat yourself. Do that whole 'be your own best friend' thing. Maybe take your two bridesmaids, or your mum, if you enjoy spending time together?
Thanks again for all of your replies. I think I'm leaning more towards not bothering with a hen I cant face suggesting something else and having people say no. So I might just spend a day to myself.
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