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To not want to "now kiss the bride"

(135 Posts)
Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:04:36

We're arguing about this. we got the script from the registrar to complete for the ceremony. Kissing at the end of the service is optional on the form. My thinking is that I want our first kiss as husband and wife to be private and personal not in front of 70 onlookers. He wants "tradition" when ffs it's 2017.

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NormaSmuff Mon 01-May-17 10:06:04

we didnt have it, i dont know why. we werent offered, it was never said, we already had children so that might be why as we had evidently already kissed. do you have dc?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Mon 01-May-17 10:07:03

It's only a kiss!

Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:07:47

Yes we have kids already. I hate PDAs!!

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NormaSmuff Mon 01-May-17 10:08:07

i dont think i would want to either, it is since you are virginal and given away from your father to your husband.

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Mon 01-May-17 10:08:17

We get married in 5 weeks, so thanks to OP we're discussing it now!!!

NormaSmuff Mon 01-May-17 10:08:53

what is pda?

Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:09:23

Public display of affection

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Goatfucker Mon 01-May-17 10:09:55

Finally someone agrees with me, I thought I was the weird one.
That very intimate kiss in front of so many onlookers is just odd. Kiss on the cheeks is fine but no way french kissing! I would never French kiss in front of my family, I would die of embarrassment.

NormaSmuff Mon 01-May-17 10:10:27

ah google said Pathological Demand Avoidance grin

dont do it op

Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:10:45

Yes goat!! It's so weird! Why would you choose that first, special moment to be had in front of a crowd?!

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NellieFiveBellies Mon 01-May-17 10:11:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets Mon 01-May-17 10:11:26

I've never seen a French kiss at a wedding GoatFucker confused

Don't do it if you don't want, but a kiss on the lips isn't really a big deal. I think you're over thinking.

Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:12:05

Totally mortifying.

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DoItTooJulia Mon 01-May-17 10:13:38

Show some how my brain worked-I thought it was going to be about the patriarchal wording of it and you wanted to change it to 'you may now kiss each other'!

<backs out of thread slowly>

annandale Mon 01-May-17 10:13:47

This is an American thing [cat's bum mouth] Inform your dh that if he wanted to marry an American he picked the wrong person. It's as much 'tradition' as having PBJs for the wedding breakfast.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Mon 01-May-17 10:14:20

We just had a quick peck on the lips. I don't think it was icky or embarrassing but it wasn't intimate or passionate either.

Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:14:52

Lol cats bum mouthgrin

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Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:16:02

AndNone...that's what I do want for our first kiss for it to be intimate and passionate as you only get that first kiss once. I don't want to short change it by having to quick peck just because everyone's there. I want privacy.

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DoItTooJulia Mon 01-May-17 10:17:01

Terrible typing! Shows how my brain works it should say!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Mon 01-May-17 10:18:35

I see what you mean OP. I didn't think about it, but then I'm not a huge fan of kissing.

apotheke Mon 01-May-17 10:19:02

I think there is a middle ground between a peck on the cheek and full on snogging. I can see where the OP is coming from about OTT PDAs but I a quick kiss on the lips isn't that embarrassing really is it? It's just another symbolic gesture, like the ring exchange. Not necessary but if you don't like tradition then why have the ceremony at all, just do the legal stuff in a reg office alone.

Refusing to do it at all is likely to draw more attention to it actually, depends on your 'audience'. Some might (politely) heckle for it afterwards (I mean like when people tinkle their glasses for a speech not suggesting you have Jeremy Kyle types in your family!) if they notice the obvious omission.

In the nicest possible way you are overthinking this. Quick peck and it's done.

SaorAlbaGuBrath Mon 01-May-17 10:19:50

When I got married, my dad did the ceremony (he's a minister) and he said pointedly, "you may now kiss your bride, briefly" with a growl at now XH. Very funny.

apotheke Mon 01-May-17 10:21:06

AndNone...that's what I do want for our first kiss for it to be intimate and passionate as you only get that first kiss once. I don't want to short change it by having to quick peck just because everyone's there. I want privacy.

So you won't kiss him all day unless you can hide away? 😂

Rainbowsandunicorns88 Mon 01-May-17 10:21:38

Apotheke (lol predictive text for that is spitheadgrin) I get that but that's our first kiss as husband and wife gone, that only gets done once and I don't want to share it with everyone else whether it's peck or bring on the shag

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