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Wedding invite with no children dilemma

(14 Posts)
Elland Sat 29-Apr-17 11:48:48

So I need some help and suggestions please!

DP and I have been invited to a wedding in September which is about 200 miles and a 3 1/2 hour drive away, no problem with that, it's friends of DP who he used to work with and we're more than happy to make the trip!

Here's the problem, we have a DS who will be nearly 9 months old at the time of the wedding and the couple have said no children apart from family, more than understandable and we will not be asking if we can take DS BUT we don't have anyone to look after DS for that time! We have plenty of people who could babysit for a day but the only people who we could realistically ask over night are abroad at the same time.

The only thing we've come up with so far is we all go but just DP attends the wedding whilst I stay with DS but DP would prefer us to go together!

Writing this down I don't think there's really any other option than not go or DP attends on his own but if anyone does have any suggestions please throw them my way!

LittleBearPad Sat 29-Apr-17 11:51:06

If there's really no one you can leave him with then they are your only options barring finding a babysitter/nanny for the day. How much do you really want to go is the real question.

elevenclips Sat 29-Apr-17 11:52:11

I think you have it right already.

Three options:
Either you all go but only dp attends wedding
You all stay home
You stay home and he goes alone

Personally I wouldn't go. It shouldn't be so difficult to attend a wedding.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sat 29-Apr-17 11:52:55

Is it at a hotel that maybe has a babysitting service? Some child care sites do hotel sitters too. .

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sat 29-Apr-17 11:53:28

You don't have to attend if it's a problem


Although judging by how these threads always go, you will be advised to ask the B&G if they really meant your PFB, and also be prepared for loads of posts saying 'they will look back when they have children and cringe' etc etc

CiderwithBuda Sat 29-Apr-17 11:53:55

It's an invitation not a summons and couples who stipulate no children must understand that that may mean people can't attend.

If they are not really close friends I would just reply saying you can't attend.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sat 29-Apr-17 11:54:05

Nobody's wedding is worth so much stress - just do something more fun grin

WallisFrizz Sat 29-Apr-17 11:55:27

Just rsvp yes for dh alone. If they are feeling sympathetic they may invite your DS so you can go aswell. Otherwise dh goes alone (or neither of you).

AlpacaLypse Sat 29-Apr-17 11:55:47

With a child this young sometimes the bride and groom will make an exception especially if you are still BF at the time. You can always ask?

Are you okay with being ready to shoot out the church door should baby go ballistic during the vows?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sat 29-Apr-17 11:56:41

Please don't ask - you will put them in an awkward position. They have stipulated no children except family.

flibberdy Sat 29-Apr-17 11:58:34

No, as a PP suggested please don't ask. I'm sure b&g feel some guilt already and having their guests ask... "but maybe make an exception for us?" Will put them in a difficult position.

I have an 18yo niece that would love if I took her, got her her own room, ordered her pizza and she could watch baby for the day. Do you have anyone like that that you could bring along for the journey?

Elland Sat 29-Apr-17 11:59:57

Thanks for the replies, I'll check the hotel out and see if there's a baby sitting service, that would be perfect!

When the wedding was first mentioned we asked if children were invited then and we've just received the invitation to just DP and I so we definitely won't be asking for DS to come. It's a bit frustrating because DP really wants to go but I respect it's their wedding, their money paying for it and their decision.

Elland Sat 29-Apr-17 12:03:46

It's someone DP used to be in the military with and lived with for a while so he's very keen to attend, he's going on the stag in July too.

Elland Sat 29-Apr-17 12:05:02

Fibberdy- we don't have anyone who would come with us but DP does have a couple of cousins who could maybe stay in our house, I'll mention that to DP and see what he thinks! Thank you, I hadn't thought of them before you said that.

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