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Guests wearing white/cream/ivory

(108 Posts)
emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 18:16:26

Just wanted to know how others feel about guests wearing similar colours to the bride. And does being the mother of the groom make any difference. I am wondering if I should talk to my mother in law to be about her outfit choice!

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 18:16:59

Grrr! Should say outfit choice.

cbigs Wed 26-Apr-17 18:17:15

I wouldn't really care unless it was a wedding dress! But I know the etiquette is not to. What is she wearing?

StereophonicallyChallenged Wed 26-Apr-17 18:20:36

Tad controlling imho, and potential to upset future MIL I would think!

Unless you put a weird dress code on your invites then I think it would be highly inappropriate to comment on what someone intends to wear.

Obsidian77 Wed 26-Apr-17 18:20:41

If it's an ordinary guest, the photographer should boot them to the back of any group photos for being attention seekers but this would be hard with the groom's mother.
Tricky to say without seeing her or the outfit but I don't think she'll steal your thunder.
Is there anyone eg her own sister, daughter, you could ask for an objective opinion?

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 18:53:42

Thanks for your opinions. It was an objective opinion I was looking for here. Friends of mine are in agreement with me that it's considered bad form but I thought they might be biased in my favour!
No weird dress code and when she asked me what she should wear (I don't know why she asked me!) my reply was "anything but ivory". And that was only because of the accepted etiquette that you don't wear the same colour as the bride. Other than that I have no desire at all to control what she wears. Perhaps I find it more strange that she seems so keen to wear ivory when I have already suggested that she doesn't!

Bleurghghghgh Wed 26-Apr-17 18:56:19

You told her the one requirement you had and she's gone against it. I'd have to say something

EdithWeston Wed 26-Apr-17 18:59:38

Wearing white/near-white or black to a wedding is not a good choice (plus red for some cultures).

But you can't really dictate to guests. If she's chosen it despite the norms and in the face of your stated opinion, then it's all a bit tricky. I think your only choices are to ask your fiancé if there's any way he can raise it tactfully with his mother. Or you just rise, zen-like, above it all.

And see if you can stick a brightly clad flower-girl in front of her in every single photo

MistyMeena Wed 26-Apr-17 19:07:33

It's really not worth getting upset about it really. Two people wore ivory suits to my wedding...I didn't even realise until I saw photos and someone else mentioned it. It's not like anyone is going to be mistaken for the bride, is it? Unless they're wearing an actual wedding dress grin which would be a faux pas

dnamummy Wed 26-Apr-17 19:11:35

Edith - a little flower girl could still make a nice photo the MIL might like to keep - surely in every wedding group there is a guest with a "face built for radio" that could be strategically positioned 😈

Obsidian77 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:14:24

Oh that must be annoying. I would remind her that you specifically asked her not to wear ivory, if she really can't find anything else (how long until the big day?) perhaps she can wear a different coloured hat and fucking great big brooch so that in the photos your dress is the clear focal point.

Sittinginthesun Wed 26-Apr-17 19:19:59

Personally, I would let her wear what she wants. If she decides to wear ivory, against generally accepted etiquette, it will just look like bad form on her part.

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:21:22

Right I'll try to post a picture...Can't see how to at the moment!

greeeen Wed 26-Apr-17 19:23:39

If it's a suit I wouldn't care, maybe a bit odd. If it's an ivory dress then I would find that very inappropriate and frankly a bit desperate. I would get your partner to sort it out as it's his mother.

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:25:17

How do you post a bloody pic?!! I am dense at times.

user1466690252 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:25:39

I wouldn't be happy, I assumed it was wedding etiquette most people knew and would see it as very passive aggressive. Especially as you have told her you have no issues except that colour

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:25:58

This is hers

ScarlettFreestone Wed 26-Apr-17 19:26:17

If she wears ivory most of the guests will judge her and feel sorry for you.

user1466690252 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:26:19

The paper clip at the bottom. Add a screen shot or copy and paste a link

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:26:23

Oh it worked! Should say it's that in ivory obviously!

emmeline7725 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:26:55

And for full disclosure, this is mine

user1466690252 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:27:23

Sorry cross post. Why cant she wear that in the blue?

user1466690252 Wed 26-Apr-17 19:28:26

No way its very bridal in ivory. Why can't she wear it in blue?

Your dress is beautiful

greeeen Wed 26-Apr-17 19:30:59

That would be an absolute NO from me.

Emphasise Wed 26-Apr-17 19:32:07

I wouldn't wear white to a wedding myself as I know it has the potential to upset people but it think you need to stop looking for reasons to be annoyed with MIL. Of all the things that are important inches coming weeks/months/years, is what MIL wears one of them, really?

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