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How do I tell her she is not invited

(5 Posts)
Soon2bC Mon 27-Mar-17 15:52:33

I work with 2 women A & B
I am getting married in a few weeks and invitations went out months ago.
I am closer to A at work and we are work friends, I also get on with her OH and we have spent time together out of work whereas B is a friendly work colleague, I have not spent time with her socially and I really don't get on with her OH at all.

I had a cancellation to the wedding which has a few friends and is mostly family and was speaking about it to A I said that it was a shame they couldn't come but explained that if I invited someone now I was concerned they would feel offended they weren't invited in the first place.However, I would like it if A and her OH could come. A said that she would jump at the chance to go, so they are coming.

Now A is worried B will be upset she isn't invited and will get angry with her. She wants me to tell her A is coming (B is her supervisor)

How do I phrase it?
Do I say anything?

DoomGloomAndKaboom Mon 27-Mar-17 16:10:06

I think it would be kind to tell B. She is going to feel left out, but if it's kept from her it will be worse when she does find out, because these things always come out.

Do you and A's OHs know each other? Have the four of you met socially? If not, maybe a white lie is needed and you can point out that all invitations are made jointly by you and dp. Push the point it was a situation of a cancellation and the dps having met was the only reason for the invite, and that should there be another cancellation, you will invite B and her partner.

purplecoathanger Mon 27-Mar-17 16:11:32

You can invite who you like to your wedding. You do not have to explain yourself.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 27-Mar-17 16:18:29

You are a kind soul purple.

OP, I think I'd do what Doom suggests. It would be nice if she knew the circumstances.

Soon2bC Tue 28-Mar-17 15:49:34

I spoke to her last night and explained the situation. She was actually lovely about it, she is going to an afternoon tea and wouldn't be able to come anyway.
I feel better speaking to her

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