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She doesn't like her wedding dress, 5 weeks to go - Help!!

(29 Posts)
asomodai Sat 11-Mar-17 21:31:30

Hello all.

I am marrying the love of my life very soon. Everything is booked up and ready to go. It will be a fairly large wedding because of her vulture. She loves the venue, entertainment and food.

However she feels like she rushed herself into buying a wedding dress. Whilst the dress she has suits her, she just doesn't like it. Her family have helped try and alter it, but she doesn't like the shape and feels that it just won't be what she wants.

She's a very selfless person usually. But she is very upset about this.

I have told her that we can try and get something different if possible. We can't really afford it, but I want her to feel special and the idea that she will have a memory of a dress she didn't like that she will see in all the photos is too much to let me just stand by.

However what can we do? The wedding is 5 weeks away!

Advice needed plus where to find a new dress with short notice!

Cheers in advance.

asomodai Sat 11-Mar-17 21:32:48

I meant culture, not vulture!

RandomMess Sat 11-Mar-17 21:37:32

Hmmm 2nd hand places so you can buy and then just get altered to tweak the fit? Include ebay in that! Close enough to try on first?

Sherlock35 Sat 11-Mar-17 21:40:01

Try somewhere like Monsoon and go off the rack?

Or go for a cocktail dress?

Is she looking for a big white wedding dress?

annandale Sat 11-Mar-17 21:42:24

Lots of options. In the same circumstances I would start on the high street, look at second-hand on ebay (I don't trust new stuff on eBay) and also ask around for anyone willing to lend their dress.

This assumes that she knows what she would like? But going to the high street means she can try stuff on.

On ebay I would probably go for something like this (If I were that size!) or more realistically this

sonyaya Sat 11-Mar-17 21:42:50

5 weeks to go it needs to be off the peg. You could either buy one second hand from sites like pre-loved, or go to an outlet store. If you're in the Midlands there is one in Birmingham that I know of, but I imagine there are some all over.

Good luck and have a lovely day!

asomodai Sat 11-Mar-17 22:13:26

Thanks for your responses. A little bit more detail.

Her family do not know she wants another dress. They all really like it and they have put work into it. My partner has not told them that she doesn't like it. I am worried that she will just go along with the current dress because she would upset people otherwise.

I am sure her family will understand. So at the moment I just need to present her ideas to encourage her that this is the right thing to do.

She wont tell me the sort of dress she is after, I know nothing about her current dress. She wants to keep it a secret. Pretty sure it wont be a simple cocktail dress.

We are based in London. So many shops wont let you in unless you have an appointment (Which you have to pay for!).

She is a size 12. So nothing out of the ordinary size wise.

Are there any off the rack chain shops based in London she could just walk into?

CorporalNobbyNobbs Sat 11-Mar-17 22:15:56

No advice but grin at the idea of a vulture at the wedding grin

user1483387154 Sat 11-Mar-17 22:18:19

She may be able to buy the sample dress from a bridal shop and take it away with her that day. Sometimes you get a discounted price for this other times it is still full price.

elephantoverthehill Sat 11-Mar-17 22:26:59

If the family have put a lot of work into the dress, I'm sorry but she will feel guilty if she does not wear it. Could she go and buy a different evening do dress and a fantastic 'going away outfit?' Photos can show all 3 and you can keep the ones you want

sonyaya Sat 11-Mar-17 22:52:57

In London, there are wed2be stores in Bromley and Camberley where you can buy off the peg I think.

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing Sat 11-Mar-17 22:55:58

Facebook or gum tree selling pages?

annandale Sat 11-Mar-17 22:58:10

I am sure her family would much rather she had a dress she really loved.

You're in London - so many options - I'd start with Oxford Street and go to Top Shop, John Lewis, Debenhams and last Selfridges (because it's the most expensive...)

If she is focused on getting a good dress rather than the perfect dress, I really think there would be something there for her.

Astro55 Sat 11-Mar-17 23:05:02

Some stores donate dresses to secondhand shops - so they are new -

Or try eBay - look up Vera wang and other designers for real bargains!

Astro55 Sat 11-Mar-17 23:06:33

I love this dress

BigGreenOlives Sat 11-Mar-17 23:09:46

Is she sure she doesn't like it or is she having worries about getting married? 5 weeks before hand is a typical time for the reality to sink in. I expect all is well but the seriousness of the ceremony & commitment might have really sunk in.

HeyRoly Sat 11-Mar-17 23:18:38

When I was wedding planning seven years ago, the wedding forums then were full of women having collywobbles over their dresses and buying second dresses at great expense. I'm sure they still are.

My thoughts? It's just one day and one dress. And I'm sure the dress she already has is perfectly lovely. But so many people get obsessed with the idea of wedding perfection, they think that anything less will blight their memories of their wedding day for the rest of their lives!

I think she needs to take a deep breath and get some perspective. What's the worst that can happen if she wears the dress? Yes, she can tell her family that she wants another dress, endure the fall out from that, and then the unbelievable stress of having to find another dress at the last minute... or she can wear the dress she already has.

asomodai Sat 11-Mar-17 23:31:37

Shes not worried about getting married. At least she seems genuinely excited about it. She is getting fairly stressed about the organisation of it but that is all.

HeyRoly. The problem is that it is just one day and presumably one chance. In her culture marriage is a big thing. Her mind has been made up about this dress, she has been saying how she doesn't like it for months now. It's all just come to a head now and getting very emotional about it.

HeyRoly Sat 11-Mar-17 23:56:05

Marriage is a big thing in mainstream British culture too. HTH wink

Catinthecorner Sun 12-Mar-17 00:07:21

It should be about the marriage not the wedding.

She has a dress. Another dress is expense you can ill afford and will be a snub to family who have put themselves out to help her.

She needs to build a bridge and get over it. I'm sure she'll look lovely, but even if she doesn't, it's one day, in a lifetime of marriage and family. It's not really that important.

sonyaya Sun 12-Mar-17 00:19:49

catinthecorner

Thats an unhelpful comment. There is nothing wrong at all with wanting to feel beautiful on your wedding day. It's important to OP's fiancée. It's important to me. It's important to loads of women. Women who are intelligent enough to know that it's the marriage that ultimately counts it to want their wedding to be a day they enjoy.

Getting married is a major thing and if it's not that important to you, fine, but it is important to lots of people, and this is a weddings section.

blueberrygoose Sun 12-Mar-17 10:17:30

I felt like this a couple of weeks before my wedding, there's so much to chose from and they are all so beautiful and I didn't know if I had picked the right dress etc on the day I felt amazing and everyone loved my dress. Think it was just a combination of nerves, stress, excitement and wanting everything to be perfect! On the day it's just about marrying the person you love and nothing else matters smile

getmeavodka Sun 12-Mar-17 10:21:22

I got mine in Monsoon Bridal , Marble Arch. Just over £200. Tried on there and delivered to me 3 days later.

Astro55 Sun 12-Mar-17 10:50:24

She can sell the original dress to buy a new one - it will even out

Take her shopping and show you care - you sound lovely! You are listening and prepared to help!

pinkdonkey Sun 12-Mar-17 11:00:18

Wed2B are brilliant all dresses off the peg under £500. Got my stunning one of a kind designer dress from them. The one I went to no appointment system, first come first serbed so ecpect to do a lot of waiting. Was allowed to pick 4 dresses at a time to try on then go to back of the queue will the next 4 to stop people hogging dresses.

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