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Do I *have* to have a Hen do?!

(20 Posts)
mangomay Thu 09-Mar-17 19:14:47

I know I don't have to obviously!
DP and I are getting married late July, small wedding (35 guests) and not really making a big fuss. My best friend is getting married in October and having a big wedding, 2 Hen parties and all that jazz. I don't want to steal her thunder (her wedding was planned long before we were even engaged) and I really hate a fuss.
Will I regret not having one? My birthday is mid-June so could maybe combine that with a little cocktail evening type affair.

mangomay Thu 09-Mar-17 19:15:09

Bold text in title fail....

JohnLapsleyParlabane Thu 09-Mar-17 19:16:33

I didn't. Had a spa afternoon with DM and MiL. It was lovely.

FairfaxAikman Thu 09-Mar-17 19:17:17

There's no reason you have to have one.
You could compromise by having something like a spa day or afternoon tea rather than a night out.

mangomay Thu 09-Mar-17 19:18:14

Ooh that sounds nice. They like a bit of afternoon tea so might do that. Me, DM, MiL and Dsis.

FreedomMummy Thu 09-Mar-17 19:18:19

Do whatever you are happy doing. I would do a joint birthday/hen do.
I did what I was pressured into by my friends and have always regretted it. Both me and DH wanted to do the day part with our respective friends and then come all together for a meal in the evening. We were talked out of it. So all I would say is do what you want!

mangomay Thu 09-Mar-17 19:20:34

My oldest friend has already said how excited she is about my hen do, she's never been to one, she's got a ton of ideas etc. I'll feel like I'm letting her down, but I don't want a bloody fuss. Even the wedding is making me anxious. People will be looking at me!!

FatOldBag Thu 09-Mar-17 19:21:56

No I never had one, and I've been married twice! I think they're tacky and awful and I avoid them like the plague.

GummyBunting Thu 09-Mar-17 19:24:42

I'm getting marries in August and I'm avoiding thinking about a hen do. You're not alone, i really just don't fancy one. But my mum is making me feel like a right party pooper.

Redglitter Thu 09-Mar-17 19:27:04

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than have a traditional hen do.

A nice dinner and cocktails with close friends would be more my thing.

coxsorangepippin Thu 09-Mar-17 19:29:58

My hen do was lovely. We went for a walk on the downs and had a pub lunch. Perfect.

(I felt the same as you about people looking at me on the wedding day btw, but actually it was lovely - I just felt they were 'holding space' for us)

Katisha Thu 09-Mar-17 19:30:20

Absolutely dont have one. Ghastly.

Reow Thu 09-Mar-17 19:32:07

Over my dead body. I'd rather not get married if I was forced to have a hen do.

BelafonteRavenclaw Thu 09-Mar-17 19:38:23

I technically didn't have one. My birthday is July so I had a birthday meal with a group of friends exactly half way between my birthday and my wedding in August. All hen decoration stuff was banned and we just had a nice meal, cocktails and a laugh. I wouldn't have been comfortable with a big do. I was also skint, as was most of my friends.

BikeRunSki Thu 09-Mar-17 19:40:38

You don't have to at all. I hated mine.

Chasingsquirrels Thu 09-Mar-17 19:44:19

Depends if you want one.
If it was obligatory it would have out me off getting married!
I've had 2 weddings but 0 hen do's

PebbleInTheMoonlight Thu 09-Mar-17 20:00:38

I don't regret not having a hen do. Closest I got was staying with my mother the night before the wedding and having dinner with her and my daughters.

Our only wedding guests were parents, siblings and their partners and our children so having a hen do would have felt odd and contrived.

Lottapianos Thu 09-Mar-17 20:02:44

Don't do it, they are truly hideous

2cats2many Thu 09-Mar-17 21:03:35

I didn't. I hate going to them so hosting one would be my idea of hell!

headinthecloud Fri 21-Jul-17 11:32:33

I'm getting married next month and we're not having hen/stag dos.

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