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How to go about this?!?!

(3 Posts)
MrsXx4 Thu 02-Mar-17 11:32:19

So, I had a BM drop out due to falling pregnant - I didn't ask her to drop out btw but she has decided that she would like to be a guest and not take part. I am sad but fully support her decision. She told me that she would pay me for the dress as she doesn't want me to be out of pocket but I have told her absolutely not. H2B and I decided we would pay for all aspects of our bridal party including the accommodation at the venue. She still has her room etc and we don't expect her to contribute anything just because she isn't a BM now.

But, I wonder, if it is reasonable to ask another of my friends to stand in as BM? seeing as I have bought the dress, the shoes, the bouquet is on order (although that is easily cancelled).

I have very close friends from a few different groups - myself, my best-friend, my sister & my sisters best-friend are a foursome - we holiday together etc as a foursome. I already have my BF and my sister as BMs, now that I have this unexpected space would it be ok to ask my sisters BF to join? or would that look really mean and like she was an after thought?

She isn't an after thought as such, I did always feel horrible for not having her as she is a BF but I had restrictions and to be honest my bridal party was one huge f* up after another at the start!

If this is not unreasonable, how would you go about it? would you check with the original BM to see if she had any objections first? xx

user1487519954 Mon 06-Mar-17 14:55:21

Ask the drop-out BM if she minds, if not, then ask the other girl. If she wasn't upset to not be included originally she'll probably be happy to be the back-up!

emmeline7725 Tue 07-Mar-17 16:47:13

I stood in as bridesmaid for my cousin when one of hers got pregnant. I was just pleased to be asked and not offended at all (although I too found out i was pregnant but fortunately the dress still fit!)

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