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Is this kind or crazy?

(11 Posts)
Blumkin Tue 14-Feb-17 16:06:09

My best friend is getting married on a very tight budget (£1500). They are just having a very small ceremony/party and they have booked the date, venue, restaurant but haven't got everything else yet.

I'd really like to give her a contribution to her wedding, (was thinking around £500) so that she can splurge on something she wants (a more expensive dress, or professional hair or whatever she wants).

I know that getting married has always meant a lot to her, and I just want to take some of the stress out of having to make everything fit within her budget and give her the day she deserves.

I don't really know anything about weddings, wedding planning, wedding etiquette, etc, but would it be ok to just bung a load of cash into a congratulations on your engagement card? Or am I breaking some unspoken wedding rule by doing this?

OP’s posts: |
Mooey89 Tue 14-Feb-17 16:11:12

I think it's an absolutely lovely idea

ArchNotImpudent Tue 14-Feb-17 16:11:53

Has she expressed regret at not having a bigger budget? I got married on a small budget by choice - if someone had given me £500, I wouldn't have spend it on my wedding.

ArchNotImpudent Tue 14-Feb-17 16:12:27


MiddleClassProblem Tue 14-Feb-17 16:14:23

Yeah, you should make it clear what it's for unless you don't mind what they spend it on even non wedding. Very generous!

Frazzled2207 Tue 14-Feb-17 16:15:15

Is it because she is struggling with money? Or because she doesn't want to spend a lot on a wedding (some people don't). If the former then it sounds like a lovely gesture.

peppatax Tue 14-Feb-17 16:18:20

OP you sound lovely, can you be my friend? If you were, I'd probably spend a token amount on the wedding if it's small by choice and spend the rest on treating you for being such a lovely sort flowers

Paninotogo Tue 14-Feb-17 16:20:41

I don't know about giving cash, maybe you could tell her you want to buy something, (flowers, dress, hair) and then stick whatever she doesn't use behind the bar.

picklemepopcorn Tue 14-Feb-17 16:22:10

How about asking her if she regrets any element of her budget? Does she wish she had a wonderful cake, or special flowers/shoes/dress? Then make the offer at that point.

If you are happy for the money to go in a general pot, then put it in the engagement card (with a note saying it's the wedding gift).
If you want it spent as a splurge, on something for her, then you need to specify.

Blumkin Tue 14-Feb-17 17:22:15

I think it's a small wedding partially by choice, and partially because their budget is restricted due to paying nursery fees, mortgage, etc and they don't want to get into debt for one day. I think if they had a million pounds in the bank then the wedding would be bigger and flashier, but she's so happy and excited and she's going to have the most amazing day regardless of budget

I just wanted to help make some of her decisions a bit less stressful and allow her to splurge on stuff or upgrade something that she might feel she financially needed to compromise on.

I wouldn't mind if she spent the money on non wedding stuff, or used it for her very lovely fiancees wedding things, or put it behind the bar or used it for their honeymoon or whatever.

OP’s posts: |
ArchNotImpudent Tue 14-Feb-17 18:34:48

If you don't mind what she spends it on, then go for it!

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