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Worried for my mum

(5 Posts)
kpnutts Sat 28-Jan-17 12:34:56

To set the scene, both my parents struggle terribly with social situations. This is largely because they can come across as very self centred, but personally I believe this is down to an undiagnosed condition, rather than intentional on either of their parts.

My and my partner are getting married this year and so have been setting our guest list and sending out invites. My mum wanted to invite all of her family (Mainly cousins) and some of her 'close' friends. My dad had no family or friends to invite, but didn't seem overly concerned. Now, I know very few of the people my mum wanted to invite, I did try to warn her that they may not want to come as they don't know me and most haven't seen my mum for 10/15 years.

Roll on a couple of months and sadly all of these invites have either declined or not RSVPd. My mums putting on a brave face, but I know it hurts. What's making it worse for her is that we have about 100 people coming, including 40 or so of my partners family. She keeps asking me how many of his relatives are coming.

I'm painfully aware that on the day my parents are going to have no one they know to talk to other than me and my partner. While my dad will be fine with this, I know my mum will be very self conscious. I'm also worried they are going to struggle to talk to the people they don't know.

Should I ask some of our friends to make an extra effort with them in advance, or is that patronising? I'm worried my whole post comes across a patronising, but my mum gets so upset about being unpopular.

Rubies12345 Sat 28-Jan-17 17:51:22

Back in the day, the parents of the bride hosted the wedding and the guest list was mostly made up of their friends. Nowadays the young couple host and have all their mates, some of my friends have said to their parents you can invite one/two couples. I think parent's friends who don't know the b&g would feel uncomfortable

I don't think it would look odd if they only had a couple of friends there. Hopefully some of these people who haven't rsvp'd are coming! maybe you could phone them?

If not, they sit at the top table and i guess you could introduce them to relatives of the groom.

helpfulperson Sat 28-Jan-17 18:54:42

Have any of your friends met your mum? If so I would mentioned to them that you are a bit concerned that she may struggle to approach people and could they take time to chat to her.

AstrantiaMajor Sat 28-Jan-17 19:00:55

How well do you get on with your Mil? Could you ask her to help you? We had only 4 of our relatives at my son's wedding. His MiL went out of her way to bring her various friends and relatives over to speak to us.. it was very nice of her. None of us drink, so we would have probably spent the evening just looking at each other.

mrsenasharples Sun 29-Jan-17 14:12:23

Yes definitely.

Maybe approach a couple of friend who have a caring nature? I would definitely do this if asked.

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