Iv recently got engaged, have no children. We are begging to plan the wedding starting with the guest list. We would prefer to have a child free wedding and I'm wondering if this is considered rude? The reasons we would like a child free wedding are that money is tight and there will be 16 children under 9. We would prefer a more adult intimate wedding. We would also prefer to have an evening wedding. We also worry that children will be bored. Sadly not all of the 16 children are hmm well behaved and those children also have parents that let them run wild. I don't want to be cruel to my guests, there will be two Brest feeding mums hopefully so obviously they will be aloud to bring the babies! What do you think?
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Weddings
Loaferloveforyou ·
29/12/2016 01:48
For our day guests children have been invited, to be fair though only 2 of them aren't immediate family - rest are nieces and nephews and there is no way they would not be coming as they are too important to us. I think DH sister is arranging for our nephew to be picked up about 7 so they can enjoy the evening.
For the evening we are undecided. We have wording on our invites along the lines of 'due to size of venue children are invited if named' and I'm squirming at the invites and rethinking them (might reorder). I've got nothing against the kids, it's just the size of the venue and the number of kids (20). I would have liked to have had a separate room for kids and put on some entertainment for them but our venue isn't set up for that.
Are you doing day and evening invites? How many kids would be in total? Would you be upset if some people couldn't attend without their children? Is your venue big enough with children? How close are you to the children?
Everyone of my friends with kids have said they would rather come alone. Apart from one who pulled a face so I have given her an evening invite only (there are other reasons I have done this though).
I know it's easy to say and hard to put in practice but it's your day, do it how you imagined it but don't begrudge people who can't attend because of kids.
Congrats 
ThumbWitchesAbroad ·
29/12/2016 02:21
Child-free weddings usually, in my experience, allow breast-feeding babies to come regardless (assuming they're not mobile and don't require a separate meal).
I don't think it's rude to have a child-free wedding, it's your choice, your budget etc. - but be prepared that some people WILL think:
you're the rudest thing in the world;
that nothing is more important than faaaaaammmmly;
that weddings without children are "soulless and boring";
that they can't possibly come without their children as they come "as a family unit";
that weddings are not about just the bride and groom, but about the "joining of 2 faaamilies and children should be part of that"
etc. etc. etc.
Don't let this deter you. Have the wedding you want and can afford and don't be browbeaten into having unruly children there who will upset your day. 
PurpleDaisies ·
31/12/2016 16:59
It's your choice of course but no kids Should mean no kids
I've been to 'child free' weddings where the B+G brought their own children!
Personally I think you'll get some unpleasant comments afterwards if you allow babies - no kids is no kids
I don't agree. As if the bride and groom aren't going to bring their own children to their wedding. 
Most people understand that exceptions are usually made for babes in arms. Op it's fine to do what you want but don't try and sell it as you're ensuring everyone has a better time without their children. Just be really clear and give people plenty of time to make arrangements, and don't be pissed of if people choose not to come.
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