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Wedding / Elopement Advice

(3 Posts)
CatsCruncher Fri 16-Dec-16 13:00:23

First post so I don't know all the abbreviations yet, sorry about that!

I don't know what to do for our wedding, and I'm really just looking for any advice or other viewpoints.

1. We elope / have a very small wedding: I'd at least like my parents and brother there to witness but his family is a little more complicated; his parents are split up and both have long-term partners. I'm not sure whether we would be obliged to invite their partners, especially as his step-father has helped us out a lot in recent years (more than his biological father).

However, I'm worried this would make the day unbalanced (my mother, father and brother vs. his mother, step-father, half-brother, father, step-mother and half-sister). Equally, his grandparents played a massive role in raising him when he was young, and I would feel uncomfortable if they felt snubbed by not being invited but this would mean more inequality, or inviting my own grandparents which would mean either his or my elderly grandparents would have to travel the 200-or-so miles North or South, wherever we choose to have the wedding (we live in the North, as does his family; my family live in the South).

2. We have a 'proper' wedding, in terms of inviting my (massive) family and his family. I'd love to do this because I'd love to have the photos and memories for the future but my partner is incredibly uncomfortable with being the centre of attention (I fully understand this). This would also be a very expensive option, because of the size of my extended family and we're not really 'evening-do' people so I'm worried people would travel such a long way and not enjoy themselves, as I would rather just have the ceremony and a nice meal, no speeches or 'greeting the family' or anxiety-inducing things like that.

3. I would rather have a casual event, with casual invitations for all the family at a nice pub (or something) but because our families live so far apart this would be difficult to arrange.

Any advice you can give would be welcome.

Thanks for reading this chunky post.

Candlestickchick Sat 17-Dec-16 00:54:19

Option 3 sounds the best compromise between you wanting your family there and your fiancé being nervous about being centre of attention.

In my experience, people will travel for a wedding even if informal.

OlennasWimple Sat 17-Dec-16 01:05:14

I'd go for option 3 too. You can have a really lovely day that happens to include getting married - you don't have to do the full receiving line, multiple speeches, top table thing if you don't want

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