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Is this really so uncommon at weddings?

(31 Posts)
Kel1234 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:04:45

I got married last year, in a registry office as due to only having a 3 month engagement, we couldn't afford a church. But we had the ceremony as close to a church as we could (we actually got to say "I Do", and we had the longest version of all the vow options, and exchanges rings...
We wanted a very traditional wedding, no contact even text from the night before, my dad giving me away and passing my hand to my htb, veil over my face, which my dad lifted when I reached htb.
I was talking to a mate of mine who couldn't make the wedding about it all, reminiscing. And she was shocked that my htb did not watch me walk down the aisle. In keeping with our traditional wedding, I did not want now dh to watch me walk down the aisle. I forgot to mention it to him, and on the day he went to turn around, bug fortunately our photographer (who is a good friend of dh) told him not to, because he would regret it.
I felt it would be much more special for him to see me once I reached his side, and I honestly would have hated him to watch me walking in. My friend was so surprised by this, saying that she thought every bride would want their htb to turn around.
So I just wondered what people think about this? Did/ do most people want their htb to turn and watch them walk down the aisle? Or did/ does anyone want htb to remain facing forward?
(I get the whole 'he will see you in your dress thing', but there's plenty of time later for him to stand back and admire his beautiful bride),

OP’s posts: |
TheBiscuitStrikesBack Sun 06-Nov-16 18:07:03

Minister told my DH to not turn around. From what I remember we were advised to not even look at each other until we faced each other to do vows. Pretty sure we sneaked a look though.

pestov Sun 06-Nov-16 18:08:04

Your pal is nuts to insist you've done your wedding wrong - it was your day not hers! That said, if you have to see be each other before the ceremony, as I believe you often do in a registry office, then why shouldn't the groom get to see you walk up the aisle?

Redglitter Sun 06-Nov-16 18:08:55

My brother has always said the one outstanding memory of his wedding day was when he turned round and saw my sister in law walking down the aisle.

I can't actually think of any wedding I've been to where the groom hasn't turned round

divafever99 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:09:46

To be honest I have no idea if my dh turned round or not.

Leslieknope45 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:15:02

Does anyone care though? Why does this matter? I'd put it out of your mind OP

5moreminutes Sun 06-Nov-16 18:18:08

It's not something you can do "wrong" (if you have a strong preference then there's nothing odd about doing it your way) but I have honestly never heard of that tradition nor ever paid any attention to whether the groom turns around at a wedding! Actually if he didn't I might wonder why and think he might be nervous or something... But the direction the groom is looking in is not something I've ever paid attention to, most people look at the bride!

We walked down the aisle together, and travelled to the ceremony together, and spent the night before the wedding together, and my DH did up the back of my wedding dress for me, and nobody gave me away though shock so I'm not much of a traditionalist grin

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Sun 06-Nov-16 18:19:10

I got married in a registry office - we had to sit down with the registrars, fill out the record & certificate and do the legal "we have got the right people here haven't we is everything spelt right" checks before the ceremony bit. Did you not have to do that?

LineyReborn Sun 06-Nov-16 18:23:55

But you have to meet together with the registrar just before the wedding.

GoofyTheHero Sun 06-Nov-16 18:28:45

I didn't even know it was a tradition TBH, and we had one of the most traditional weddings imaginable.
One of my best memories of the wedding is DH turning round to see me walking down the aisle.
YANBU to do things how you wanted to do them, not sure why your friend has made an issue out of it.

Bluntness100 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:29:45

I've never heard of this either, but I do know there is no right or wrong way to do it. The whole he gets to look at you and admiring his beautiful bride later thing though I find a bit cringe, but I'm not very sentimental and if uou were my friend I'd just say that was lovely.

I've never heard of a photographer saying not to or he'd regret it , that's a bit weird to be honest. Why would he regret it?

eurochick Sun 06-Nov-16 18:31:20

I've never heard of such a 'tradition'. What does it matter if the groom sees the bride walking up the aisle or a few minutes later during the ceremony?confused

LineyReborn Sun 06-Nov-16 18:33:19

So how did you do the joint paperwork required on the day of the marriage?

mouldycheesefan Sun 06-Nov-16 18:34:46

Seriously it doesn't matter.

user1471950254 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:37:34

I've seen men turn or not turn but on a wedding forum I was on in the run up to my wedding it was hotly contested! If it hadn't been I probably would have never thought about it! I asked my now husband to turn around as I wanted him to see me properly and my dress, I also thought I would be nervous with all eyes on me and it would give me something to focus on by looking at him! On the day I was glad we had discussed it as felt very emotional just before walking down the aisle and as soon as I saw my handsome man and his reaction to me I was so excited!

Narnian Sun 06-Nov-16 18:37:55

We didn't have to meet with the registrar beforehand. DH didn't turn round when I walked up the aisle (church wedding) but I wouldn't have cared if he did!

AmeliaJack Sun 06-Nov-16 18:38:20

My DH didn't turn round, he turned to face me when we reached the top of the aisle.

By why on earth would your friend care?

Did you and your DH enjoy your wedding? That's all that matters.

Leslieknope45 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:39:42

In a church wedding you only need to sign the register. You don't need to meet with anyone beforehand.

Mirandawest Sun 06-Nov-16 18:40:40

Just asked my DH and he did turn round. I had no idea (and we only got married 3 months ago grin)

PuppyMonkey Sun 06-Nov-16 18:44:05

fortunately our photographer (who is a good friend of dh) told him not to, because he would regret it.

Sorry, but this made me grin
You're not that shocking are you OP?

AnxiousCarer Sun 06-Nov-16 18:47:08

We met with the registrar seperately before the ceremony to complete the paperwork. DH turning to look at me as I walked down the aisle and bursting into tears is one of my favourite memories of the day and we got some lovely photos of that moment. I'd heard that its unlucky for the groom to turn and look but I'm not superstitious and would have been disapointed if we'd not had that moment. But its having what you wanted not what other peoplewanted thats important.

AnxiousCarer Sun 06-Nov-16 18:48:52

Infact we considered getting ready together and walking down the aisle together but decided not to because we wanted that moment.

Bumbumtaloo Sun 06-Nov-16 18:51:13

LineyReborn I got married in a registry office and the joint paperwork was done before, when we gave our notice to marry. Both me and DH were spoken to by the registrar separately just before I walked down the aisle. We got married 5yrs ago.

DH did turn to look at me as I walked down the aisle, I'm glad he did. He gave me a tiny wink and smiled and all my nerves disappeared.

Bluntness100 Sun 06-Nov-16 18:52:57

Agree with puppy monkey, that made me raise an eye brow too, the photographer saying don't look or you will regret it is rather unfortunate phrasing,,,

LineyReborn Sun 06-Nov-16 19:34:43

Bumbum I was at a family wedding last week and it was, according to the registrar, compulsory for the couple to turn up together to go through stuff again just before the wedding. They were very confused and frankly pissed off about this but complied.

I also had to do this when I married in the 90s. Different city, same country (England).

I don't understand how there can be different rules?

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