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No phones or cameras for guests

(60 Posts)
griffinsss Sun 06-Nov-16 15:02:23

How would this go down with you?

My 12 year old was horrified....

1) I'm a photographer. I know a lot of photographers. I don't want my guests to not feel like they are working (aka taking photographs).
2) I don't want my professional photographers to have to fight to get their shot
3) I want my guests in the moment. There will be plenty of entertainment without facebook.
4) I don't want details of my wedding shared on social media before the day has even finished
5) I don't want endless photographs ruined by guests flashes, mobile phones or guests looking at the wrong camera.

griffinsss Sun 06-Nov-16 15:03:10

*obviously I meant, I don't want my guests to feel like they are working

Balletgirlmum Sun 06-Nov-16 15:06:00

It is entirely reasonable & indeed standard to specify no photos during a wedding ceremony. The church I was married in banned any photos or recording for copyright reasons (music, organist etc)

It is unreasonable to try & prefect guests from having mobile phones or from taking photographs of themselves or others at the 'do'

Redglitter Sun 06-Nov-16 15:06:24

You can't ask people not to bring phones. You can ask that they don't post on Social Media until a certain time. 2 friends of mine got married recently one asked that nothing was posted til the evening reception started. The other asked that nothing was posted til she had posted the day after the wedding.

eyebrowsonfleek Sun 06-Nov-16 15:07:31

A lot of people will want the luxury of gadgets to entertain young kids if they get restless.
I understand point 4 but points 2 and 5? I've never seen official wedding pics ruined by phones. How are you going to enforce it?

MiniAlphaBravo Sun 06-Nov-16 15:07:58

I think this is very controlling and unfair. Most ppl will want to have their phones on them. Yabu. It's fine to say no photos of the ceremony but the rest of the day is unreasonable.

usual Sun 06-Nov-16 15:09:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HRarehoundingme Sun 06-Nov-16 15:09:32

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Sun 06-Nov-16 15:13:01

How will you enforce the rule? Will you be frisking guests at the door? grin

I assume people are allowed phones in the venue in case they need to stay in touch with a baby sitter, family members, phone a taxi etc?

I don't actually think you can prevent guests from Facebooking/tweeting and so on. Technology and social media is now ingrained in our society I'm afraid.

Floggingmolly Sun 06-Nov-16 15:16:01

No, you absolutely can't stipulate this. You'll sound like an over controlling loon, and they'll bring their phones anyway. Of course they will, why wouldn't they?

JosephineMaynard Sun 06-Nov-16 15:16:22

Asking me not to take photos in the ceremony, or during the official photos, fine.

Banning me from having my mobile phone altogether? I wouldn't be happy with that. I'd probably ignore that request and stick it in my handbag anyway, partly so I've got it in case of emergency, and partly so I'm not having to worry about having left a valuable item in the car glovebox all day while at the wedding.

Plus I don't quite see the problem with guests taking photos of each other as long as it doesn't interfere with the official photos or ceremony.

GinIsIn Sun 06-Nov-16 15:23:26

I don't take photos on my phone at weddings - I don't want to be intrusive and I would rather see it first hand than through a screen, but if you told me I wasn't allowed to bring my phone at all, I'd probably think you were an entitled Bridezilla and most probably ignore you. Lots of people will have made childcare arrangements or similar which will mean they really don't want to be unreachable, and I think it's really rude to try and dictate.

BlueGoats Sun 06-Nov-16 15:25:18

I have been to a wedding with this rule for the whole day. To my suprise, it was followed by virtually everyone with very little fuss.

It depends on the guests, of course, but if you ask nicely in the invitation it can work.

Redglitter Sun 06-Nov-16 15:26:50

If I was asked not to take photos of the ceremony and not post on social media on the day I'd totally respect that.

I'd completely ignore the phone ban and would certainly take photos later in the day at the reception

eurochick Sun 06-Nov-16 15:28:30

It's fine to ask people not to take photos at certain times. It's overbearing to tell people not to bring phones or cameras, or take any photographs at all. I'd be pretty miffed if I was told that.

venusinscorpio Sun 06-Nov-16 15:30:58

I think you can ask people to be considerate with how they use their phones. I don't think you can make them leave them at home. I think it looks like you don't trust them if you try to impose a blanket ban. You are treating your guests like children on a school trip, not adults who you presumably want to share your day with you.

CrotchetQuaverMinim Sun 06-Nov-16 15:32:14

surely if the guests are photographers, they will understand how not to get in the way of the professional shots?

And it's kind of up to them if they feel like they are working when taking photos at a wedding as a guest - I expect a lot of them enjoy taking photos of things as a hobby as well, and it won't feel like working because there's no expectation of perfection, responsibility to get it right, obligation to get specific shots, etc. It's just taking guest-type photos

I think it's fair enough to ask not to take photos during the ceremony if you insist, but not beyond - lots of people enjoy taking them before and after, of themselves and the other guests, as well as you. And people like looking at the more informal ones later too. The official photographer can't be everywhere at once - I think a guest list full of photographers means you're likely to get some excellent candid shots too!

Also fine to ask them not to post on social media until the next day, if you want to post first yourself and it would bother you if people shared snaps first. But I don't think you can stop them forever.

No to banning phones, too, because people will need them, and you don't want to be having to take them away, store them, return them, etc., and what else will people do who have travelled to you? Or are meeting up with others before? Or using them as sat nav to find the place? Or keeping in touch with family at home? etc.

It sounds arrogant to tell people they must be 'in the moment' at your wedding and that your entertainment will be plenty. Great if it is, and of course you hope that people will be, but it's up to the guests. You can make someone be 'in the moment' - it's an active choice they make. Just taking away their phone might mean they are spending the whole time wondering why you've done it, what's happening at home, did things go alright for someone, and be just as much lost in thoughts as if they had the phone. Most people will be decent and not on their phones and interrupting things as a result, but banning them from doing so just comes across as rather self-important, I'm afraid. I'm sure you don't mean it like that, but it just has that feel. Better to concentrate on making sure people have lots to do and enjoy, and that they won't want to be looking at facebook!

Sparlklesilverglitter Sun 06-Nov-16 15:32:45

It's more than reasonable to tell your guests no photos in the wedding service, that is pretty standard.

Also more than reasonable to say you don't want people standing with mobiles/cameras snapping away when your have your professional photos done

But I think asking people not to bring phones or not to get them out during the whole day is extreme, what about people that have DC/family/ or even that like to check in on work.
Also surely people can take a few snaps once the reception is in full swing

MyWineTime Sun 06-Nov-16 15:34:06

No! Hideous idea!
I would find it hilarious if I received instructions like that on a wedding invite.
I have never seen a wedding ruined by phones, I don't even see photos on social media during the day - they always come later.

And it is completely unenforceable. People will need to have their phones on them.

DamsonInDistress Sun 06-Nov-16 15:38:21

It's entirely standard to ask guests not to take photographs during the ceremony itself, and also increasingly common to ask them not to post to social media until the following day. Not least because you want them to be present and in the moment with you, enjoying it and experiencing it without distraction. However asking them not to bring a phone with them at all, that's a ridiculous idea.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Sun 06-Nov-16 15:39:32

Perhaps you have misjudged this. Just because a lot of your guests are professional photographers doesn't mean that they will arrive and assemble tripods and light reflectors and start jostling with your hired photographer for shots.
I doubt there will be camera bulbs going off left right and centre. You are a photographer yourself and you don't spend weddings snapping away do you?
I doubt you'll notice the odd phone or camera.

perditalost Sun 06-Nov-16 15:39:43

The photos I take at weddings are of my family and friends. Often the last time I will see many elderly relatives.

SheldonCRules Sun 06-Nov-16 15:41:25

I've never seen a professional wedding photo where someone in the pic has a camera out or their own mobile phone.

If asked, I'd ignore. I'm an adult and know when it's appropriate to use technology. I'd assume bridezilla where it's all about her day and question attending.

Seekingadvice123 Sun 06-Nov-16 15:47:35

YABU and verging on the ridiculous. it's a wedding not a secret service convention. Why the secrecy throughout the day? Honestly, this mindset just smacks of self importance and controlling behaviour.

zzzzz Sun 06-Nov-16 15:50:44

Invite people to your party, don't tell them what to wear, where to stay, what to give you, or how to behave.
Honestly focus on your dp and STOP buying into the idea that this one day is SO important.
There are loads of days in my life that are just as life changing that happened without anyone being instructed to do anything, first kiss, first love, getting engaged, finding out I was pregnant (every time), meeting my in laws, meeting my children, saying goodbye to my father, surviving a near death, saving a life......yes getting married was wonderful, but the wedding party/photos/fuss...meh.

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