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Another guest list one

(11 Posts)
PeanutJuice Wed 05-Oct-16 13:09:26

Getting married to DP next year, we have decided on a family only guest list- plus two of DPs closest friends who will be both acting as "best men".
My DP would like to invite their girlfriends to the wedding breakfast, but I do not. I have spent time with the girlfriends on a few social occasions but I would not consider us friends outside of knowing them through their DPs.
If they were to attend, it means there would be people there who I am less close to than some of my actual friends but who we have decided not to invite to maintain numbers.
As the "best men" would have would be sat at the top table, their gfs would not be with them at the breakfast anyway.
Neither of the best men are married, live with, or have DC with their DPs (not sure if this is relevant)
Would you invite the gfs?

Starryeyed16 Wed 05-Oct-16 13:14:16

Personally I wouldn't go to wedding solo without my partner. I do think it's bad manners to exclude ppls OH unless it's a work colleagues but not close friends. I invited my uni friend and gave her plus one, our mutal friend couldn't make it and I wanted her to celebrate and enjoy the occasion not to be sat on her own. Weddings are a celebration of love I never understand culling the guest list and excluding partners I just rather have a cheaper venue personally but it's your day and both you need to agree.

Gazelda Wed 05-Oct-16 13:15:51

depends on the overall size of your guest list. If it's 10 plus the Best Men, then no I wouldn't invite them. But if it's 40, then I would.
But I closer to my friends than many of my family, so wouldn't have a 'no friends except 2' wedding.

NapQueen Wed 05-Oct-16 13:18:18

Depends on the size. We had 20 to the daytime and then 100 to the evening.

We didn't invite my aunts boyfriend (because he is a dick head!)
We didn't invite FIL'S girlfriend (such a small wedding and we wanted MIL to be confortable)
We didn't do an +1's.

The evening was open to all extended friends and family.

The only one who got offended was Aunt but we stood firm. Her decision if she wanted to come to all or part of it or none of it. No offence would be taken on our part.

Somerville Wed 05-Oct-16 13:18:50

As they don't live together then I'd say it's fine not to invite them under these circumstances.

vegmum83 Wed 05-Oct-16 13:25:04

Are you having an evening reception? I would just invite them to that. We had a really small wedding just had immediate family there and no friends as we wanted to keep it small and costs down and we have a lot of friends who we are close to so couldn't invite one without the others so we decided no friends at all. A few people where a bit gutted but they knew our reasons for doing so. Think they would have had something more to say if we had people there we weren't that close to though so I can understand you not wanting to invite them.

Fruitboxjury Wed 05-Oct-16 13:30:31

Do you think there's any chance the best men will end up marrying / staying with these gf? If so, it would be better to ask them as they will hopefully become your friends over time.

We made the mistake at our wedding of inviting too many people we were Good friends with at the expense of people we would go on To be good friends with. Now, many of our older friends have dropped off the scene a bit as we all had kids and we are closer to some of the people we didn't invite. They understand but I do have regrets about it.

Coyld you have two bridesmaids to make things balanced or would this be more complicated? Alternatively he could stick to the plan of no friends, seems a bit unfair to me that he has two and you have none... Which is actually more of a problem than the gfs.

PeanutJuice Wed 05-Oct-16 13:31:53

Thank you for your comments,
Yes we are having a evening do, which they are invited to.
My reasoning is that DP has two best men (who are also close friends to one another) so would not be attending not knowing anyone else. They would also both be sitting on the top table, and their +1s would not. The gfs are not close friends but have met on a few occasions I believe. So would they feel alone at the wedding breakfast?

PeanutJuice Wed 05-Oct-16 13:35:35

Also, I do have bridesmaids but they are family members. I am more than happy for my DP to include his two friends, they are friends of mine also as we all went to school together. I could also invite some friends of mine but that doesn't help us with limiting numbers due to our budget and wanting a smaller wedding. If I begin to invite friends it becomes difficult in where to draw the line!

TheNaze73 Wed 05-Oct-16 13:38:01

It's 2016 & not all joined at the hip. I think you should stand by your decision op

LucyLot Thu 06-Oct-16 15:03:46

I would but I would also invite a cluster of my close friends. I don't think it's right not to invite partners if it's a serious relationship and you've met them before. The best men aren't going to have a great time just there as your husband to be's support, it should be an enjoyable day out for them too.

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