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pros and cons to eloping

(5 Posts)
awesomeness Sun 02-Oct-16 19:32:00

me and the OH are thinking about tying the knot

right so, i'm going to sound a bit unreasonable but i don't wanna plan a wedding, i'd like the whole idea of a big wedding, BUT i can't be bothered with the finances, arranging everything, waiting as we don't have a huge income.

i don't like OHs brother or his gf (OH doesn't like them either) my OHs mother is a drinker and every family party she has ruined through too much vodka (to the point of putting her sister in hospital and getting arrested) and she can never control herself, and OHs son always always has to be the center of attention, my daughters 3rd birthday he threw the entire cake on the floor and screamed and cried because he wanted presents too

my mum might be upset but she wouldn't help me plan or anything to ease the burden, and both of my sisters would elope anyway

has anyone eloped and it's been ok? we would be taking my 3 kids and we would tell people in advance, i feel bad for not taking OHs kid but i can guarantee he would ruin it, i can't even speak to OH in front of him with out him talking over me or once putting his hands over my mouth to stop be from talking, i don't think OH is happy about the prospect of him ruining it

i just need reassurances i guess, anyone done it and families been fine with it?

Bellatrixandstrange Sun 02-Oct-16 21:28:56

Eloping in two weeks. Everyone who has asked about wedding plans since we got engaged has been told that we will run away and do it just us. His mother was initially very nasty but we have retained a united front that we will do what's best for us and she has finally shut up and quit whingeing. As long as what you plan is what you both want and what is right for you everyone else will get over it. Enjoy and good luck.

UmbongoUnchainedInAPearTreeeee Sun 02-Oct-16 21:33:00

I eloped. Wouldn't change it for anything.

Although it would be really shit of you to get married with your children there and not his.

awesomeness Sun 02-Oct-16 21:35:46

yeah it is defo what we both want, neither of us can be bothered with planning, we don't have huge social groups and we just think family arguments and drunken fights just aren't worth the hassle

i see all these pinterest weddings and think yeah it would be lovely, but in reality it wouldn't be anything like that

my mum will accept it but his will be angry she's been denied the chance of a piss up sad

hope your big day goes fabulous!

awesomeness Mon 03-Oct-16 11:50:15

it wasn't my idea for his kid not to be there, i was just going to grit my teeth and bear it, and let him deal with his sons outbursts

but i don't want to pay thousands to inflict my self with stress, his family's behaviour and get no planning help from my family

i'm actually on the verge now of saying 'let's just not bother'

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