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Bridesmaids - how many?

(22 Posts)
Hironsbirons Sat 03-Sep-16 22:21:12

I've just booked my wedding and I'm keen to get my bridesmaids sorted, but I've got an issue. I need to have my two sisters and I'm having my fiancés sister too, and my best friend from uni will be my maid of honour. I have two other best friends, and I just can't decide if to include them or not. I honestly really want to, but the thought of the costs for six bridesmaids is enough to give anyone a heart attack! My heart says yes, have them as a part of the day, but my purse is crying at the thought of 6 X dresses, 6 X shoes, flowers, hair, make up etc... My mum has told me I'm the only one who can decide, she's said if it was her wedding she'd just have the two sisters, but one sister is young and the other is a twat who's already bitching because she got engaged first hmm does anyone have any advise or words of wisdom?!

Theselittlelights Sat 03-Sep-16 22:25:44

I would of had my two friends and my best friend MOH.

No family but I can imagine the back lash from that.

Your best bet is to have all of them and come to an agreement about who pays for what I.e if you buy the dresses, they buy the shoes.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Sat 03-Sep-16 22:28:32

I had none....best wedding ever!

BooAndM Sat 03-Sep-16 22:32:05

Is the venue big? If there's plenty of space (e.g not a tiny registry office) then I'd have 6! 6 isn't uncommon and you only get your big day once :-)

DollyBarton Sat 03-Sep-16 22:33:35

I think 1,2 or max 3 is nice. I had 4 and felt it was a lot. 6 is verging on American territory!

BackforGood Sat 03-Sep-16 22:36:18

More than 3 starts to get to look a bit like a performance. I know sometimes you get trapped by circumstances, but I certainly wouldn't want 6

BooAndM Sat 03-Sep-16 22:38:43

But OP said her heart says yes so I don't think she's trapped by circumstance. 6 might be chaotic but it could also be fun.
But it will be expensive!

Hironsbirons Sat 03-Sep-16 22:40:29

I want to have my three friends only, but I can't. My parents are paying for most of our wedding and the only thing they've really stipulated is that my sisters have to be bridesmaids and they'd strongly recommend asking his sister too. So unfortunately no leway there. The venue is big enough for six, it's a decent sized room, but I am worried about it verging on over the top American style! It's stressing me out to the stage I don't actually WANT to do ANYTHING relating to the wedding. Fiancé is just saying it's my decision, and I agree with him, he can't really help me decide who I want to have there on the day with me.

Hironsbirons Sat 03-Sep-16 22:42:12

Also, do I HAVE to offer hair/make up to them all, or can I just say do your own thing, we have a hairdresser/make up artist coming if you want to pay for yourself? And get them to wear their own shoes, I'm sure no one actually wants to wear matching 'wedding' shoes anyway and would rather wear a comfy pair of their own... No? I don't know! It's such a bloody minefield.

awfulpersonme Sat 03-Sep-16 22:44:22

I'd just have your sisters tbh, I'm just having 2: my sisters.

BooAndM Sat 03-Sep-16 22:44:55

wedding politics are hard work! If you have to have sisters but don't really want them then I'd be even more inclined to have your friends too.
But everyone is right in that it is your decision! Good luck smile wine

RaeSkywalker Sat 03-Sep-16 22:46:02

I'd have the 2 extra friends. It'll be nice for you to have people there who you can rely on- it doesn't sound like you have the best relationship with at least one of your sisters. Or, tell your parents that you don't want family bridesmaids. Could you save and pay for the day yourselves? You might resent being dictated to about this in years to come.

I just had my best friend as MOH and DH's god daughter as flower girl. I have no sisters though.

Hironsbirons Sat 03-Sep-16 22:46:28

One of my sisters is too young to have any interest to help with anything (she's 13 and going through the typical teenage grunting phase when she just wants to lie in bed and watch Netflix) and the other is so obsessed with my stealing her ideas/colours/year/whatever else she can think of hmm that I'm only having her because my parents want me to. Which leaves me with no one on the actual day itself. Who would fluff my dress and sort my hair and hold my flowers?

GummyBunting Sat 03-Sep-16 22:48:51

I'm in a similar position. 2 sister, plus 2 best friends from uni (who are men). In another dimension I'd also include 2 close girl friends I've made after uni, but i drew the line at 4 for all the reasons you stated and I'm happy with it.

Hironsbirons Sat 03-Sep-16 22:49:04

We're booked and paid the first deposit so we're committed now. I wouldn't want to tell my parents we want to pay it all ourselves as they're so excited about having a wedding to pay for (three daughters, they've been looking forward to it for years!)

annandale Sat 03-Sep-16 22:53:36

If you want 6, why not just ask them to wear (eg) a blue, grey or blue patterned dress of some sort and gold or silver sandals, and just do flowers for them all? Make sure they know there is no hair and makeup on offer and exactly what the deal is.

Having said that, yes 6 is a lot. But I've just been at a wedding with 5 bridesmaids and it was lovely. Increasingly common.

SheepyFun Sat 03-Sep-16 22:54:26

We all did our own hair/makeup (though not saying you shouldn't get yours done professionally if you prefer) and I asked mine to wear shoes of their choice - none of them bought new ones which was fine. That helped with the budgeting!

BackforGood Sat 03-Sep-16 22:59:38

I agree with Sheepyfun - you provide the dresses, and let them know there are no particular shoes, they can just wear whatever they want / whatever they have / are comfortable in.
Same with hair and make up - there really is no reason for you to pay for them all, or make them have their hair done by someone they don't know / aren't used to. Just let them look how they want to look, and relax smile

MilesHuntsWig Sat 03-Sep-16 23:50:41

I had 4 grown ups and 2 kids. I also had some other close friends who we got to do readings and other stuff which could be a way to involve your other 2 mates maybe?

We were skint and managed to keep the costs down by keeping flowers simple and saying they could do their own hair/make-up (one of my friends did mine too). It was good fun on the morning! Also, my mum made the dresses, I chose a fabric and let them choose a style from a shortlist of simple patterns (they are all different shapes and sizes so they could have what flattered them). Do you know someone who can sew?

Gmbk Sun 04-Sep-16 00:00:29

I'd go for just the sisters! I did and it was fine. You really don't need people looking after you on the day.

Don't bother with finances sister unless you are close. Have MOH best friend at a push.

MrsCaecilius Sun 04-Sep-16 16:56:31

You could honour your best friends by asking them to do readings or be witnesses instead? I've been to weddings where readers have even worn buttonholes or something to give them 'official' stays and make them feel special. A nice way of including them if you didn't want to go OTT on bridesmaid numbers.

Hironsbirons Mon 05-Sep-16 09:54:39

I think we're going to go for six and do artificial flowers (from The Range or somewhere), let them do their own hair/make up, let them wear their own shoes or pick some fairly reasonable high street ones up nearer the time, and just provide dresses. They'll all want to wear their own jewellery etc anyway. I think I'd miss having my girls with me to help shop and plan and organise! It wouldn't be the same dress shopping on my own.

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