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Invitation politics

(12 Posts)
WeddingPolitics Tue 02-Aug-16 09:57:43

I'm beginning to think that the politics around weddings takes all the pleasure away!

Ok, my parents are divorced and my father's a plonker and playing no part in my wedding (despite earlier saying he would). My mum is lovely and had always been a wonderful mum. I'm her only child. She lives comfortably but frugally on a standard UK pension.

DP's parents are also divorced and have not been brilliant to him. Generally pretty selfish. His dad's pretty well off. His mum has a grater income than mine, but isn't rolling in it.

So, my mum is buying my (not cheap!) dress, a accessories, paying for flowers, hair, make up etc. She's offered more money and I've refused as u am better off than she is and can afford to put more in.

DP's father is being v generous and his gift will cover the catering.

Problem is that DP says the invitations should come from his father as he is 'hosting' by contributing this amount, and that my mother's contribution doesn't count as it is 'just stuff for her daughter not the wedding.'

I disagree and think my mum would be really hurt to be snubbed in this way.

AIBU?

TeaBelle Tue 02-Aug-16 10:06:25

Can you say Jane and john, along with mummy Jane and daddy john invite you to the wedding. Or just have them from you?

LurkingQuietly Tue 02-Aug-16 10:12:07

Can't you just have them from you? And if some sort of public announcement is required that your DP's father is Mr Generous, your DP can thank him in his speech?

flossietoot Tue 02-Aug-16 10:14:47

You can't leave your mum off and have your father in law- your husband to be sounds not very nice at all for even suggesting it.

Leviticus Tue 02-Aug-16 10:15:46

A recent invitation we received said something like X and X, together with their parents invite you to etc.

DreamingofItaly Tue 02-Aug-16 10:22:21

My family situation is similar and I'm getting married next year. My parents can hardly stand to be in the same room as one another and DPs parents are less than accommodating too so I feel your pain.

I'm with Leviticus...X and X along with their parents invite you to join blah blah. DP can then thank everyone in his speech. I truth, it's irrelevant who pays for what, your guests don't care and your parents are celebrating their children, the shouldn't be doing it for the thanks. Plus, doesn't tradition dictate it's the brides parents that invite? It would be odd receiving an invitation from the grooms dad, not event his parents, just his dad? Yes, strange in my opinion.

Good luck, the planning should be fun eh? Xx

WeddingPolitics Tue 02-Aug-16 11:05:41

Thanks guys. I did suggest sending invitations from us, but he was still pushing for his dad. I could accept the wording 'X and y along with their parents' if it takes that to keep him happy!

We're marrying where up grew up 2 miles from my mum's house so I think it would look really pointed to have them from his dad who lives several counties away!

My dad's not coming at all. So I do want to honour my mum.

VioletVaccine Thu 04-Aug-16 23:17:06

Who is going to walk you down the aisle Wedding your Mum I hope grin

PitilessYank Fri 05-Aug-16 15:27:12

My husband paid for our wedding when we got married 20 years ago, and our invitations back then read: "X and Y, together with their parents..."

I don't see how that kind of wording would be problematic for anyone.

UnexpectedBaggage Fri 05-Aug-16 15:30:40

You aren't even married and he's belittling your mum already?

I'd have second thoughts about this whole marriage.

cexuwaleozbu Fri 05-Aug-16 15:42:14

The significance of a gift is not measured in pounds. I bet a lot more effort went into your mum helping you choose the dress and stretching her frugal resources to pay for it than it took for DP's "pretty well off" DF to write a cheque. She deserves equal billing.

cexuwaleozbu Fri 05-Aug-16 15:42:43

That's billing in the theatrical sense BTW

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