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What does a small, intimate and classy wedding look like?

(17 Posts)
stumblymonkey Sat 26-Mar-16 19:25:28

Evening trusted vipers...

DP & I are planning to marry. All of the weddings I've been to have been the fairly usual (but very expensive) sort of thing one gets with churches, stately homes or similar, 80-100 guests or more and an evening do.

Originally I thought I wanted the same but the more I think about it the more I'd prefer something intimate but still romantic and classy.

We'd still have about 50-60 guests (my close friends plus partners are 30 on their own).

We live on the Surrey/Hampshire border.

Any ideas of venues or things you've been to that would fit the bill?

I'm struggling for venue inspiration because I'm looking for something different to the norm...I really don't want to spend £20k on one day!

stumblymonkey Sat 26-Mar-16 19:36:17

Actually...cutting the guest list to the bone I'm down to about 34 people!

Blueberry234 Sat 26-Mar-16 19:41:29

If I had my time again I would have had a very small service followed by exclusive booking of a good restaurant (near us I would think lime wood or the pig) and no evening do

SwearyGodmother Sat 26-Mar-16 19:43:30

The best/classiest wedding I've ever been to was my aunt's and on paper it sounds anything but. They lived in Haringey and we went to the local register office and then all went back to their house (a standard London Victorian terrace) for lots to drink - not me because I was 10 - and canapés served by caterers. It was so unpretentious, so relaxed and so them that it was perfect.

It's nearly 30 years later and that's the wedding I remember the most, aside from my own - and if we had more space than our 2 bedroom flat I would have totally copied it for ours - as it was so achingly smart and so beautiful. As I understand it after we all went home they, my grandparents and the wedding party had a big takeaway and drank all the dregs which I find hilarious and lovely.

I've been to plenty of lovely weddings with 50-150 people with the drinks reception and then a sit down meal then dancing but I couldn't tell you anything novel or original about any of them - in fact they all merge into one. Which is a shame as they're lovely but so identikit.

Can you do at home without the sit down meal? I think if you get people in and have proper service it can be super classy.

lamiashiro Sat 26-Mar-16 19:43:39

Not having a disco makes it more classy, imo, but I'm aware that I'm probably in the minority with that.

VertigoNun Sat 26-Mar-16 19:47:38

I agree about the waiters serving canapés and champagne at home. I too went to a reception like that. It was something I would have or advise another to.

stumblymonkey Sat 26-Mar-16 21:18:32

We have a teeny tiny terraced house that can fit four for dinner so definitely not an option. And it's a rented house that I don't particularly like sad

VertigoNun Sat 26-Mar-16 21:19:25

What about renting a period house nearby for the weekend?

VertigoNun Sat 26-Mar-16 21:20:01

I don't mean a stately home, a nice cottage type place.

Callmecordelia Sat 26-Mar-16 21:22:53

I love what a friend of mine did - got married in central London, had champagne and canapés, then immediately got on Eurostar to Paris in her dress.

I didn't know her then, but it always sounds so classy and romantic.

SwearyGodmother Sat 26-Mar-16 21:23:14

Yes like vertigo says - rent somewhere pretty for a weekend (or even a week and stay after everyone else leaves) and have a catered, staffed party. Really classy.

Mouthfulofquiz Sat 26-Mar-16 21:24:12

I think registry office, restaurant for gorgeous drinks and food, then maybe just you and your DH go off early evening to a lovely hotel to drink booze and do whatever else newlyweds might get up to grin

NapoleonsNose Sat 26-Mar-16 21:26:19

We are going here for a wedding next year. The bride and groom have taken the whole place and there will be around 30 guests. We are all staying for two nights, with a quiet meal for everyone the night before then a wedding breakfast with a band after the actual ceremony the following evening. Is there somewhere similar near you?

artisanroast Sat 26-Mar-16 21:31:23

It looks like my wedding! Forgive the obvious bias!

I had one maid of honour, one flower girl, DH had a best man.

We had a total of 32 people. I wore an Amanda Wakeley gown and my maid of honour wore a dress she loved (and wasn't dictated by an outdated matchy matchy theme).

We took over a small hotel for 2 nights; it was filled with our family and friends and no other guests so it really was personal to us.

We had a rule - if we hadn't seen or spoken to them within a year they weren't invited! This did cause some difficulty on my side but overall it worked quite well.

Best of luck. Do things your way.

Also, go for a 'naked' cake they are much prettier than the iced variety ;)


chantico Sat 26-Mar-16 21:34:13

Morning service at a beautiful church, with the wedding tucked into a Lady Chapel, then really posh (long) lunch at nearby country house hotel sort of place.

You then leave, late afternoon, in proper old fashioned going-away style, and your guests can carry on (or not) as they wish.

Katarzyna79 Sat 26-Mar-16 21:35:25

the smallest wedding ive been to in my life was my brothers only 100 people in total. As ive never seen a wedding that small to be honest it felt lifeless, but that may be more to do with the lack of ceremonies the elders usually perform, no one took charge, it's like no one cared because the couple were from 2 different backgrounds. It could have been perfect with a bit more life.

It was held in a posh restaurant with space upstairs rather than in the main restaurant area.

I think Vertigo's suggestion of a nice cottage type place, or going to a restaurant to feed friends and family then going off on your honeymoon sounds lovely.

Another wedding I recall was done in the house, there were maybe 100-150 people between 2 three bed terraced homes. Not large homes either.

They moved the sofas out the main reception rooms lay down Moroccan style cloths and seating rolled out waterproof cloth in centre home cooked food served. I remember the food the most better than catering food. Plus bride groom seemed really happy, they would they had x amount of money to go abroad for a nice honeymoon. I wouldn't know what a honeymoon was never had one lol

stumblymonkey Sat 26-Mar-16 23:49:09

I do like the look of The Green.

I was googling away this evening and found a gorgeous artist's cottage on a beach...or I guess I could rent a house out on something like Air BNB.

Also like the idea of the old-fashioned escape to the honeymoon!

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