Talk to me about eloping (especially finding witnesses)

(24 Posts)
InsufficientlyCaffeinated Wed 23-Mar-16 12:45:53

So DP and I have decided to elope. We're both very introverted and although we want to be be married to each other, we're not at all keen on a proper wedding so we've decided to plan it all, sneak away to get married, and then tell people afterwards.

The main thing I'm worried about is finding witnesses! Did you elope? If so how did you find them? We can't really ask family/friends as then some people would be annoyed that we invited some friends and family but not others. So strangers seems like the best option but DP and I are both quite shy/introverted and the idea of asking random strangers on the day terrifies me! Any ideas welcome!

Any other interesting ideas on making a tiny elopement still special for the two of us are also highly welcome. We have no DC yet so don't need to take children in to account

gruffaloshmuffalo Wed 23-Mar-16 12:47:12

I've heard of some mumsnetters going along to be witnesses before, you could consider that?

InsufficientlyCaffeinated Wed 23-Mar-16 12:52:49

Oooh maybe. Would it just be a case of asking who is available in the location at the right time?
I thought of putting a tweet out but I'm a chronic over-thinker and worry I'd seem like a massive loser who can't find anybody to be a witness!

AuntieStella Wed 23-Mar-16 13:05:05

There's a thread in classics you might enjoy reading:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/992979-Don-39-t-suppose-anybody-anybody-in-Wakefield-area-is

CMOTDibbler Wed 23-Mar-16 13:11:10

Theres been quite a few mnetter witness threads, and I always think that its lovely

InsufficientlyCaffeinated Wed 23-Mar-16 13:18:51

Oh that thread is so sweet! Haven't read it all but just the fact it goes on for 23 pages is heart-warming. I'm genuinely terrified we won't find anybody so we won't be able to get married so at least that gives me hope! Thank you

Florabella22 Wed 23-Mar-16 19:52:00

We are eloping in June, to a country estate that specialises in runaway weddings for two. We had to give notice to marry at our local registrar office but we're getting married 150 miles away. It will be just the two of us and witnesses are provided by the venue. It's going to be an intimate ceremony outdoors, the venue have taken away all the stress, recommended suppliers such as florists and photographers. Everyone will think we will be slipping away for the weekend but we'll come back married! It's a very exciting time and it's difficult to keep such a delicious secret! Good luck and congratulations x

Florabella22 Wed 23-Mar-16 19:53:58

Forgot to say, the witnesses are ladies who work at the venue, one being the wedding coordinator who we've gotten to know pretty well so they won't be complete strangers!

InsufficientlyCaffeinated Wed 23-Mar-16 21:40:40

That sounds lovely Florabella. I'm torn between just nipping to the local registry office or something small but still romantic like yours. I hope your little big day goes well

gruffaloshmuffalo Thu 24-Mar-16 09:37:45

I'd definitely witness if I was nearby, it would be lovely.
Just post roughly where you are and when and see what happens

tryingtocatchthewind Thu 24-Mar-16 09:40:36

Oooo how exciting and romantic, I'm up for it if you're near me.

ShyGirlie Tue 29-Mar-16 08:28:31

Florabella, if you don't mind me asking, where is the country estate? We've jusy got engaged and due to being an introvert, family issues and a small budget your wedding sounds perfect!

Florabella22 Tue 29-Mar-16 19:13:13

ShyGirly it's called Millbrook Estate in North Devon. It's a beautiful place, take a look x

hazeyjane Tue 29-Mar-16 19:22:29

We eloped and found our witnesses in the carpark. It did at one point look as though we weren't going to find any because everyone we asked seemed to be rushing off to an appointment (we don't smell or look particularly dodgy!!). The registry office wouldn't let us use members of staff, but an American couple (who were a million times more attractive than us) happened to be booking their wedding and the woman thought, 'it would be so romantic, honey!!'

Our wedding photos are of an unfeasibly gorgeous couple, stood behind a couple of hobbits in jeans and t-shirts grinning like idiots.

I have really happy memories of our perfect for us day, I hope you do too. flowers

Savagebeauty Tue 29-Mar-16 19:27:32

If I ever marry my man, I shall elope.
Won't have our (grown up) kids there.
I can see me putting out a MN appeal!!!

Leeds2 Tue 29-Mar-16 19:34:54

Contact the register office first. They will probably have a policy of either supplying, or not supplying, witnesses. If the latter, I'm sure you would find someone in the building/car park/general area to oblige - or the MN appeal!!

Reiltin Tue 29-Mar-16 19:41:33

We got spontaneously married and the person who performed the ceremony offered her grown daughters as witnesses. We paid them a tenner each. I got the impression it wasn't the first time smile

Evergreen17 Thu 21-Apr-16 08:39:51

I have asked a good friend of mine
And DP will ask a friend of his.
I didnt ask family because if I asked my sis then the other what?
Nobody else knows and we will keep it this way.
We might have a picnic party later on the year.
Because it will only be us and 2 witness I doubt my friends will be upset

annielostit Fri 22-Apr-16 16:41:02

We didn't elope but got married abroad on holiday. We found one witness by the pool & another in the var the night before. The hotel would of supplied 2 if we were stuck.

annielostit Fri 22-Apr-16 16:41:53

* bar

listsandbudgets Wed 27-Apr-16 20:44:08

My father and step mother got married without telling anyone. We thought they'd just gone on holiday in Yorkshire for a week but they'd prebooked the registry office. Dad says they went into a local pub and asked the landlord if he thought anyone in there would be willing to witness their marriage. He sent them off with a elderly couple who'd just finished their lunch grin

Loubylouchirino Sat 11-Jun-16 17:15:47

We were just going to plead with people in the street (it's a university/tourist city so would have found someone probably) but DPs work colleague and his partner have been asked and have said yes. I was panicking that we wouldn't find someone and would have had to resort to tears and unsightly begging grin

Balletblue Sat 11-Jun-16 17:18:56

I have been at witness at a few weddings when I worked next to the registry office- It always felt like a real privilege.

Cantgetmyoldnameback Sun 19-Jun-16 22:28:18

We had a secret wedding 10 days ago - didn't 'elope' as such as we got married at our local town hall office. We asked (several weeks before) two neighbours to be our witnesses. It was perfect, just how we wanted it.

We then told family and friends later that day and buggered off on honeymoon.

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