Who buys the bridesmaid dresses?

(28 Posts)
SpiderStardust Mon 11-Jan-16 15:24:08

Do I buy them??

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Mon 11-Jan-16 15:24:26

Yes normally

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Mon 11-Jan-16 15:24:41

Although they buy shoes

RudeElf Mon 11-Jan-16 15:27:14

Are you the bride?

You buy them if you are choosing them. If they get to choose their own and keep them then its more acceptable to ask them to pay. Same with shoes. You pay if you choose.

WickedWax Mon 11-Jan-16 15:30:00

Are you the bride? Yes.

I bought my bridesmaids dresses, shoes, jewellery and paid for them to have their hair put up on the day.

If I hadn't paid for any of that, then I wouldn't have expected to have a say in what they chose/wore.

Arfarfanarf Mon 11-Jan-16 15:30:34

I think it is quite common for them to pay for their own but considered very nice for them to be paid for.

I think though if you are asking them to buy their own then make sure they are lovely dresses that they will get use from. The last thing that should happen is a bridesmaid being made to fork out silly money for an abomination she couldnt even use on halloween grin

LucytheAustralopithecus Mon 11-Jan-16 15:31:06

I've never heard of bridesmaids paying for their own this side of the Atlantic, the only place bridesmaids pay for dresses is the US- which I assume is why they all have seven bridesmaids.

However, I have heard of weddings where they've just had the bridesmaid wear a nice dress they already owned, and maybe tried to coordinate the flowers - was at one where the two bridesmaids wore coral dresses they already owned and it looked quite nice. So if cost is a serious issue you could try that?

honeysucklejasmine Mon 11-Jan-16 15:32:43

Yes, the bride pays.

namechangedtoday15 Mon 11-Jan-16 15:35:10

The bride.

Dress, shoes, jewellery, hair (if it's being 'done'). Everything. Any suggestion that you ask someone to be a bridesmaid and then expect them to pay is incredibly rude.

Same goes for best man and ushers.

You pay for all of it.

SavoyCabbage Mon 11-Jan-16 15:39:26

The bride. And shoes and everything if you are specifying what you want them to wear.

PotteringAlong Mon 11-Jan-16 15:40:43

Definitely the bride.

Cotherstone Mon 11-Jan-16 15:42:47

I've had all my (3) bridesmaid dresses bought for me, as all 3 brides wanted us wearing a specific dress.

For two of them I provided my own shoes, as they didn't care what I wore so I was happy to buy a nice pair of heels that I could wear again.

Another one wanted a specific pair of shoes for us to wear, so she bought them. Though they didn't come small enough for me, or large enough for another bridesmaid, so she spent all day limping and I spent all day with a pair of socks shoved down the front of mine hmm

One bought us a necklace to wear with the dress that was also our thank you present.

Hair and make up has always been paid for by the bride.

If you're going to put any limitations or expectations on what they are going to wear, you should pay for it. It's a close run thing even if you say they can just wear a nice green dress of their choosing, just in case green isn't their colour.

gingerboy1912 Mon 11-Jan-16 15:45:41

The bride buys the dresses, bridesmaids buy the shoes and jewellery as long as they aren't ridiculously priced. That's my take on it anyway.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Mon 11-Jan-16 15:51:45

The bride. And shoes and hair / everything if you are specifying what you want them to wear/look disappearing up your own backside

I think in the USA the tradition is that the bridesmaids pay for the dresses if the film is anything to go by but I've never met an american bridesmaid who paid for the horror they were subjected to.

Charliej86 Mon 11-Jan-16 19:54:36

I'm paying for my bridesmaids dresses, shoes, hair. But one is 17 one is 10.

SellFridges Mon 11-Jan-16 19:57:27

I bought dresses, shoes, jewellery and paid for hair. I bought a separate piece of jewellery as a thank you gift.

I even sent a dress to my honorary bridesmaid in New Zealand.

I've been bridesmaid for several friends and the set up has been the same, except once we wore our own shoes as they couldn't be seen.

Shutthatdoor Mon 11-Jan-16 20:27:10

The bride wink

Mumwithdilemmas Wed 20-Jan-16 14:25:16

We're paying for the works, although they've had no say. We saw what we liked bought them & showed the girls, thankfully they like the choice. Phew. X

CMOTDibbler Wed 20-Jan-16 14:27:05

Bride specifies, bride pays. Bride says 'choose something you like to wear', bridesmaids pay

cbear000 Fri 29-Jan-16 11:22:21

It depends where you live, my wedding involved people from all over the world. I went halves with my bridesmaids and they helped pick the dresses, although I'm sure they let me have the final say! I asked them to wear any shoes they liked that were either nude/pale, pastel or metallic, and no specifications on jewellery. I think it was fair, the girls were happy and they looked beautiful.
I really think all these wedding rules are old-hat. Do what you like, make it easy for guests and the wedding party, keep it simple and enjoy the day.

ChessieFL Fri 29-Jan-16 11:27:03

Bride should pay. In my opinion it's rude to ask someone to be a bridesmaid then ask them to pay for the privilege! If you can't afford to pay, don't have bridesmaids.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Fri 29-Jan-16 11:29:58

Bride buys the dress. I've always worn my own shoes so that didn't come up. Bride pays for hair and make-up but I hate having my make-up done so that one didn't come up either. I am a very low maintenance bridesmaid grin

RNBrie Fri 29-Jan-16 11:38:58

If the bride is choosing or wants something new then the bride pays. And that includes shoes! If the bride says "wear something you already have" then fine. But I'd never expect someone parts with their own money to wear an outfit I've specified.

namechangedtoday15 Fri 29-Jan-16 12:22:24

Doesn't matter where the bridemaids are coming from - bride pays all of it, full stop. Anything else is just rude.

IoraRua Sat 30-Jan-16 18:05:41

The bride pays for anything she is specifying. If she says "wear whatever you like", then she doesn't need to.
That goes for hair, makeup, dress, shoes...everything!

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