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Friends Wedding abroad..controversial

(7 Posts)
kittykitty7 Sun 16-Aug-15 16:18:44

My friend asked me to be bridesmaid, which I was thrilled and accepted. She then decided she was getting married abroad in quite an expensive holiday destination at peak season. It cost me over a grand (on a credit card I don't have much savings) and travelling alone.
But I went because I love her and was happy for her. And I had a lovely time.

She is also having a english wedding.

Before the two weddings she said because she was grateful that I was paying so much to come to her destination wedding she would pay for the hotel room at her English do so I could stay over (as its a good few hours drive from where I live).
Suddenly after her abroad wedding she has said I now need to pay £100 for my room at her English do.

I am quite upset because I've spent so much money already and she is pretending it was never said that she would pay for the room at the hotel in england as a goodwill gesture. I feel like I am just expected to pay up. Its hard because you want to go support a friend but it feels like I am being taken for granted.

Should I said something on just suck it up? I'm not a very financially well off and I'm finding it a really struggle.

LIZS Sun 16-Aug-15 16:21:58

Tell her you haven't budgeted for it on the basis of what was previously said. Sounds like it may have cost more than expected. If she won't be moved could you room share or use a local B and B to keep costs down.

Eternalsunshines Sun 16-Aug-15 16:22:17

I think you have done more than enough already to prove (not that you should have to) that you're a good friend in going to the wedding abroad.

The only thing you can do is be honest, say you would love to be there but you just cannot afford it.

Orangeisthenewbanana Sun 16-Aug-15 16:24:45

I would simply say to her that you are very sorry but you just cannot afford it after the trip abroad. It's quite possible that she found her expensive wedding overseas a bit of a financial stretch too, and is now regretting offering to pay for you to come to the English bit.

Not your problem. You have gone above and beyond your financial means for her already and she WBVU if she did not accept this. She sounds very self-centred.

PoppyBlossom Sun 16-Aug-15 16:25:44

Why is there two weddings?

kittykitty7 Sun 16-Aug-15 16:34:58

She is having an english wedding do for friends and family who couldn't come to the overseas one, as bridesmaid I feel I have to go to both.

I understand it must have cost more than she thought, I just find it upsetting that she pretending it was never said. It feels so insulting and flippant that I can just pay another £100.

Thanks for the advice I think I am going to be mention it to her and that it wasn't budgeted because of what was said earlier.

FishWithABicycle Sun 16-Aug-15 16:45:20

Yanbu to draw the line at forking out the extra £100. It was very unreasonable of her to first get you to agree to bridesmaid and then spring on you that it would cost you £1000 to do so. A true friend would either have been upfront on cost before asking or would have paid for you. This person is a taker. Not a friend. I don't thing you should be available for her second wedding.

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