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I don't know what to do...

(8 Posts)
WheresTheCoffee Thu 30-Jul-15 00:56:31

I asked a friend of mine (not overly close but a good colleague) if he would film our wedding. He makes films as a serious hobby and I originally asked him as I trust him to do a good job.
From the beginning we have been on a tight budget and I wanted to be clear with him that we weren't asking for a freebie, but asked could we talk through what our money could cover if he could come for a part of the day.
He was insistent that he wanted no payment at all and I subsequently talked to him about it and the outcome was the same.
However, now, 10 weeks to go he said he wants to talk about his fee. We don't have anything left in the budget to pay him confused I understand that he's thought about it and changed his mind or his circumstances have changed but I'd rather not have a video than have him do it for nothing if he doesn't want to.

I'd be grateful if anyone had any ideas for how I can dissfuse this whole situation?

Thanks thanks

Szeli Thu 30-Jul-15 06:17:32

Just be upfront; say

"With you insisting back in (june) you didn't want payment we've allocated money elsewhere now, I'm really sorry but I simply can't afford the additional (£1k) at this point in time - I really wish you'd said something sooner, hope this gives you enough time to pick up another job for that day. Thanks (op)"

Additionally, if you can stretch to it offer expenses; travel, meal on the day etc as your only option

FishWithABicycle Thu 30-Jul-15 06:30:10

Are any of the "extras" which have crept into the budget things you could cancel or downgrade? You were initially willing to pay him something and only reallocated the budget to other things when he said he didn't want paying - so how much flex is there to rereallocate it back? If you value those other things more than you value a video, cancel his services. I don't think you could have him there without paying him now, it would spoil your day to have the awkwardness.

ethelb Thu 30-Jul-15 08:08:10

I would just say no. He has renaged on a verbal contract. What else will he do? Its really silly and un professional for him to do that at this stage imo.

ApplesTheHare Thu 30-Jul-15 08:12:52

I'd just say no. It's a major red flag and could have a serious impact on your friendship. I speak as someone who paid a friend to do wedding pics, then got told he was giving them to us as a 'gift' because he'd got everything wrong and barely had any useable pics shock

WheresTheCoffee Thu 30-Jul-15 16:38:04

shock Apples! That's awful, I can't imagine how upsetting that would be.
Thanks for all the advice, I was really struggling to see it clearly. I'm going to have an open chat with him and see what we can work out between us. It's so important to me that this doesn't affect our friendship. I'll let you know how it goes!

ethelb Thu 30-Jul-15 18:15:07

The thing is OP you already tried to have an open and honest discussion with him at the beginning of the process. And he refused to get involved. He has now changed the goal posts and I dont really think you owe him anything. In fact he owes you as you based significant financial decisions on what he said to you, which he has now backed out on.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba Thu 30-Jul-15 18:44:29

I'd think of something else but wouldn't "employ" him
going back on a verbal agreement after 10 weeks is bad form, I don't care what his reasons are, it's not right.

can you find anyone else who might be interested and happy to help out instead? or maybe a film/photography student?

good luck

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