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Before planning a wedding read this.

(25 Posts)
Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 17:21:29

I know you are strong, organised, determined, aspirational, excited, creative and have the power and ability to pull off the most amazing wedding, what I'm also going to tell you is also true.

You are vulnerable.

You might not think this, but believe me, you are, the wedding industry is big business, and whatever your budget, it creates all sorts of false barriers, making the process more expensive, stressful and ultimately........profitable.

You're going to be lied to and manipulated, you will hear these words a lot

That's not possible,
You can't do that
It wouldn't be right, not for your wedding.

The truth is, creating this kind of wedding industry, in a way, has meant that for many, the process is a nightmare and an expensive one at that. I am an industry professional, believe me, I've seen it. I know the secrets that magazines and glossy brochures don't tell you. I co-odinate weddings, but am not looking to promote anything, let alone myself. So I've gone under cover, as the fairy good father, to perhaps but the industry back in its place a little.

You can do amazing things, so make sure you do.

Make a wish, or three and see what a fairygoodfather has to say.

Trills Thu 16-Jul-15 17:24:55

Er, thans for the pep talk?

What's a fairygoodfather?

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 17:28:07

It's a fairy who tells it to you straight.

Trills Thu 16-Jul-15 17:30:54

And refers to itself in the third person, gotcha.

PurpleDaisies Thu 16-Jul-15 17:31:19

Er, so what useful advice do you have then? Your op is a bit unusual.

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 17:48:33

I agree, my post is unusual. But as I said, I will tell you what I am not allowed to within my profession, which is the reason for being secretive about my identity.

I have lots of useful advice, perhaps the first being not tell a venue or caterer your budget, and not be swayed by worthless freebies you won't use, need or want.

My second advice is. Don't go to a wedding fayre.

TobleroneBoo Thu 16-Jul-15 17:51:33

Place marking

98percentchocolate Thu 16-Jul-15 20:33:58

Place marking too...

Any other tips? What about if you want a very small, intimate wedding?

Andbreathe2016 Thu 16-Jul-15 20:58:16

Will I regret not wearing a big white dress like my mother wants?

Thanks fairy goodfather...

Glitteryfrog Thu 16-Jul-15 21:13:19

I am not a princess
It's not the most special day of my life
I don't want to spend £10k
I don't want fucking BUNTING, cath kidson prints, bird cages or any other twee bollocks.

springlamb Thu 16-Jul-15 21:17:47

Fairygoodfather ,
What's yer take on brides who go down Petticoat Lane and buy a chiffony skirt suit for 35 quid because they and fiancé are skint as fuck.
Should I sue my parents for refusing to give me a decent wedding?
Ok, it was 1992, but using the PPI principle, it might be possible.

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 22:13:30

OK, will try and do my best here.
Small and Intimate, kinda good for a wedding description, hopefully not a refection of the attributes of the groom. Let me know your thoughts, how small and how intimate, can mean very different things. Size matters, anything less that 6, I wouldn't really needs advice as much as a little helping hand. Am sure you can handle anything up, but above 14, that's when I might be able to help.

Glitteryfrog, I'm wondering what you do want? I would perhaps imagine the glitter or any frogs skin could be a little irritating tho, perhaps shower with some aquis cream to remove excess glitter might be good. Saying no to twee bollocks, is something i can agree with you on, tells me you got balls and that's gonna help. Your wishes are granted, but always were, but alas I move on to another case.

Springlamb, come on, 28 years on, so you, like me are in the good years, but lamb and spring we ain't. I like to think of myself as a late summer wollen cashmere fleece, certainly not mutton, tho. Yeah, kind of like your style on blaming the parents, its something I hear a lot, but hurts when your kids start with the same strategy. Something u gotta let go, like that movie Frozen, it Dis-nee good to be bitter, save the bitter lemon for your gin, and chiffon was your choosing, so u need to take a little responsibility for that too. It could have been worse, you could have named your daughter Chiffon and then I would consider advising her to Sue too. The blame games one, that I stopped playing, being a professional is a good role model, being a professional victim, not! But being a true wit, is something which is priceless, and you should value that in yourself, £35 quid for chiffon in 1992, you were young and foolish I guess, but we all make mistakes.

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 22:23:53

Andbreathe. No womnn should dress for their mother. If she wants a big white dress, I suggest she buys one and wears it. It's your body, you have to feel fantastic in whatever you drape it in. Wear what you want, always and especially on your wedding day. Give in to your Mum only on this condition, if she can choose your dress, its only fair you choose hers.

Lanaandmaria2014 Thu 16-Jul-15 22:35:40

Are you Froonk from 4 Hochzeiten und ein Traumreise? on the TV every day in Germany, your english is pretty good if it is you.grin

Lj8893 Thu 16-Jul-15 22:39:50

Hey?

I've just got married and had exactly the day I wanted, actually it was even better than I could have imagined and was done on a relatively small budget (5k). It was never going to be a small intimate wedding as my family (let alone dhs family) are bloody huge and crazy!
I went to wedding fayres, I used parts of the wedding industry, I bought magazines. But I also did a lot of it myself with my dm and so didn't allow myself to be ripped off in the slightest.

Your post is pretty patronising and odd.

98percentchocolate Thu 16-Jul-15 22:44:56

Ok, DP and I are planning an intimate wedding - register office with dinner after - and he wants 14 guests, I think we need to have 45 as a minimum to avoid offending very close family. My mother on the other hand wants a big wedding (think 150 with a big party) and is even offering to pay for it. We don't want this.
What is your advice?

gallicgirl Thu 16-Jul-15 22:48:06

Intriguing.

So what's the best way to buy a dress without spending a fortune?
I'm searching for sample dresses on ebay at the moment.

I will say that we've not had any of that bullshit from our venue. We're probably going to spend less than £1500 with them and they've been happy to do everything on our terms so far.

LineRunner Thu 16-Jul-15 22:51:06

So Goktastic. Thanks...

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 22:51:47

Nien, I might have the odd TV appearance, but that's just rumour, and a mean one. I don't watch much TV, one thing TV doesn't need is someone like me.

xalyssx Thu 16-Jul-15 22:57:22

I'm getting a prom dress custom done - £160.
I'm getting the venue of my dreams with everything imaginable included - £3000.
The bridesmaids' dresses - £120 the lot.
Groom's suit and groomsmen's clothes - £200 the lot.
I know that I could get this cheaper but I want it like this. And I have got the cheapest prices that I could find. I am happy with this.

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 23:12:01

Gallicgirl. A lot depends on your style and taste, here's a pretty classic number for seventy quid. Don't search for Wedding dresses, search for white or cream ( or any colour you choose evening gowns. A good local seamstress can jazz up any off the peg dress for an extra £30 quid if you want the Diamante's and pearls.

If it feels good on, you will know the second you try it on, if in doubt, return it and try another dress. Follow your instinct on this one, not always the advise of a dress maker or salesperson.

Fairygoodfather Thu 16-Jul-15 23:21:48

Xalyssx. Absofraginlutely my point, its your wedding. You go girl, get the wedding you are you partner want. Not what others want for you. Have u considered cars, photographer,\ video too? They can be ridiculously expensive. But can be done so cleverly on small budget too.

Glitteryfrog Fri 17-Jul-15 06:34:26

Glitteryfrog, I'm wondering what you do want?
I'd quite like a 1920 great Gatsby party, black, silver, crystals, chandeliers etc

gallicgirl Fri 17-Jul-15 12:54:45

Thanks FGF , I hadn't thought of searching like that.
xalyssx I approached a dressmaker I usefor alterations and she wanted £500 for her time plus mmaterials! You've got a bargain there.

Fairygoodfather Fri 17-Jul-15 13:15:33

Ok, I'm gonna take a guess here, because when it comes to the Great Gatsby as a theme for a wedding, I'm feeling extremely excited. Perhaps it's because prior to writing the novel Scott Fitzgerald described his aim, in ways which so beautifully describe what some would consider to be their perfect wedding dress / wedding day, it wasn't something old, something new, something borrowed or even something blue (save for the 1st edition cover). These were his own words in describing his desire in writing one of the greatest works of literature in the last hundred years.

The Authors Wish " "something new—something extraordinary and beautiful and simple and intricately patterned." F.Scott Fitzgerald.

You gotta admit it, the bloke had a way with words, and with the women judging by those matine idol looks.

As you described, however, its the Baz Lurhman aesthetic and feel wof the 2013 movie hich is perhaps more what you had in mind. Gotta hand it to you, your a girl who likes to think big, and I like that. Especially as you stated earlier, its not the most important day of your life, and you don't want to spend 10k. I see you very much in burlesque on a wild great hen night for this dream, and I'd set you a challenge if your serious, cos I'd kinda like the see if you got the attitude of a girl who could pull it off the decadent and gutsy flair of a Woman called Daisy, who was closer to a black daihia than any meadow flower. You see, its me who has the wings, and you who needs to be more than a glitteryfrog in a flapper girl way. This dream is totally do-able and I know how too as well.

Whose gonna need fireworks at the end of this wedding, when an art decco video montage of your day is in projected with iconic movie scenes interlaced to real life footage to a Gatsby Mix, providing you with the best backdrop for your last dance couple. Yes youll be getting drenched, in mist and rain, but thats what i think secretly you might like, I know you aint a princess, your a f**cking amazing glitterati, AND YOU'D HAVE TO BE, COS ITS YOU WHO HAS TO PULL IT OFF, WITH A LITTLE HELP, and for the price of a guest costume photo booth \ marryoke video corner \ videoographer and photo journalist combined you could put this together 10k wedding EXTRA package together for a DIY £500.

OR MAYBE, just a few art Deco style invites and stationery.

Scared, excited, terrified or buzzing, one things as true as eggs is eggs. If you wanna get from east to west, best break a few eggs and scramble.

Be careful what you wish for, but if you wanna go to WestEgg, better make a wish?

Wishes do come true. If we really want them too, but rarely for the I'd kinda like this to happen girl.

Your big bad fairygoodfather. X x

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