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Can't find a sodding dress!

(44 Posts)
PregHead1337 Sat 11-Jul-15 16:30:07

So my father-in-law to be is terminally ill and we are planning our wedding in a hurry.

We know what we want for everything but the bloody dress.

A minor detail I know, the most important thing is that everyone is there.

But....I would also like to feel nice.

I feel like a massive tit in most wedding/bridesmaid dresses. I can see how they look beautiful on other people but honestly they just don't feel like me.

I have bad skin on my back and I am incredibly self conscious about it. Too the point where I have not exposed my back in front of anyone but my partner for about 5 years.

I have tried on bolero jackets with strapless dresses but that doesn't seem to look right either.

Has anyone else had this problem and found something that works to conceal it? I have tried all the skin remedies under the sun and I honestly think if my back was better I wouldn't feel so ridiculous in a dress.

I have a few months and would appreciate any advice.

BikeRunSki Sat 11-Jul-15 16:33:11

Do you want a low cut dress and a jacket, or a dress which covers your back?

PregHead1337 Sat 11-Jul-15 17:06:46

A dress which covers my back ideally.

I tried on dresses today and couldn't find one where I was not drowning in lace or bling. I would like something relatively plain (I know I sound boring) but I am not a girly girl.

BikeRunSki Sat 11-Jul-15 17:15:36

I know what you mean! I'm not at all girly. What size? Fonyou want long/short? White, Ivory, colour? Long/short sleeves?

BitsyVonMuffling Sat 11-Jul-15 17:18:10

Have you looked at Lou Lou bridal dresses? A lot of those cover the back, I was torn between one of theirs and another, I went with the other but still remember that Lou Lou dress fondly. I too didn't want to feel ridiculously princess's, but these have a cool retro feel to them without being twee. Some bargains to be had on eBay from havjng just had a quick look x

Thurlow Sat 11-Jul-15 17:20:28

What sort of thing do you have in mind? Budget? Do you want something quite quickly, do you need to buy off the peg and then just have it altered a bit?

PregHead1337 Sat 11-Jul-15 17:24:47

I'm thinking midi length, short sleeves and not too formal.

We are not having a proper reception, just taking everyone to a nice restaurant so I do not want to be sat there looking ridiculously out of place.

I will have a look on Lou Lou Bridal.

I am thinking either white or dark green (my favourite colour).

Haven't found anything I like on Ebay and we are definitely talking budget.

We are doing the whole thing on 3-4K.

grabaspoon Sat 11-Jul-15 17:27:06

What about a nice dress from Debenhams or other high street store. Wedding dresses dont have to be bought from a wedding shop

Thurlow Sat 11-Jul-15 17:27:11

How about something beautiful but not traditional like this or this? The second one covers a lot of back and is a bargain at £200.

Depending on what sort of wedding you are having, this is gorgeous

WaitingForFrostyMornings Sat 11-Jul-15 17:29:09

How about this? www.lindybop.co.uk/dresses-c1/sally-may-cream-lace-swing-dress-p1646

Thurlow Sat 11-Jul-15 17:29:49

Mine might be a bit too dressy then!

Coast have some really nice green dresses - here in short, and here in long

Thistledew Sat 11-Jul-15 17:30:00

Do you like 50's style inspired dresses?

There are some nice ones in dark green here particularly on page 2.

WaitingForFrostyMornings Sat 11-Jul-15 17:31:11

Is this too revealing? www.collectif.co.uk/floral-nina-swing-dress-p-vss150806-c-ivory.html

WaitingForFrostyMornings Sat 11-Jul-15 17:33:11

This is teal in colour www.collectif.co.uk/plain-faye-mesh-overlay-doll-dress-p-vaw140917-c-teal.html

PregHead1337 Sat 11-Jul-15 17:33:14

I have mostly been looking in places like Debenhams, House of Fraser etc.

Our wedding is going to be low key e.g. Registry office then restaurant.

We are not having an evening do due to many family members being in ill health, budget and lots of us have children.

I will have a look at your suggestions now.

Thank you so much ladies!

Thurlow Sat 11-Jul-15 17:34:40

This is very classic and smart?

WaitingForFrostyMornings Sat 11-Jul-15 17:36:03

This is dark green www.vivienofholloway.com/women-c70/dresses-c10/grace-dark-green-duchess-p406

BitsyVonMuffling Sat 11-Jul-15 17:36:12

This is very similar to the Lou Lou dress I tried on, it has a sheer covering over the back, I don't know if you'd rather full coverage? Monsoon have some nice budget options too. Did you know Oxfam have several bridal outlets? A friend bought a gorgeous sample dress there, as good as new and last seasons design as a lot were donated by a bridal shop, for less than £200.

PregHead1337 Sat 11-Jul-15 17:43:56

Had a look, and thank you all for your suggestions. I just don't think I will look good in anything.

I might just drop the idea of a dress all together and go in bloody jeans at this rate!

I have not quite recovered my pre-mum confidence and maybe that's what I need work on before I am going to feel good in anything.

Sorry to have wasted your time, I am just a mess right now.

FruitOwl Sat 11-Jul-15 17:44:30

I have bad skin on my back and shoulders too so feel your pain! I'm thinking along the lines of this one from Monsoon for my wedding in May; the dress is £299. Good luck with your search smile

BitsyVonMuffling Sat 11-Jul-15 17:48:43

You mustn't think that way flowers I truly hated dress shopping, hated it. We were in a tight budget too, and I hated the expectation that I'd want to feel like a princess. I wanted to feel like a grown up, making a legal commitment, and hopefully look ok doing it. The wedding industry has a lot to answer for for making people feel shit Imo. Take a deep breath and have a glass of wine/piece of cake and relax. It's a dress, nothing more nothing less. Are you sure that your back is really as bad as you think it is? Have a peruse of eBay for cheap dresses ending soon. I think a green dress would look amazing.

PregHead1337 Sat 11-Jul-15 18:07:08

FruitOwl - That looks lovely and I am sure you will look amazing in it.

Bitsy - Thank you. It's kind of good to know I am not the only one that hates dress shopping (and the gushy salespeople who would tell you that you look great in a bin bag if it would get them their commission!)

Just baked a pie so that is cheering me up!

I have just had another idea which may help me feel a bit more bridal for the ceremony and still low key for the reception.

Maybe top and 2 skirt combo, something long for the ceremony and something a bit shorter and casual for the restaurant (Which I could wear under the bigger skirt and then remove said bigger skirt when we move on to food.)

Aaaaahh I don't know what I want!

First world problems I know.

lifelorn Sat 11-Jul-15 18:19:37

I was recently looking in coast for bridesmaid dresses and they had a lovely sparkly top in blush pink and beautiful tulle covered skirts (long and short). I was very impressed with the selection.
You could also google under mother of the bride for a huge list of places you would not usually look at.
Most of all have fun, it is your day and you will look beautiful, just hit the dress shops with a good mate and enjoy all the trying on.

Thurlow Sat 11-Jul-15 18:20:39

You really don't need to wear what the magazines and TV say is a wedding dress. You wear what you feel comfortable in, and if you feel comfortable then you will look amazing.

What sort of top and skirt would you like?

tethersend Sat 11-Jul-15 18:23:27

anything here?

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