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Was I unreasonable

(17 Posts)
Emblondey84 Sun 17-May-15 22:35:55

I recently had to tell my friend who I am her bridesmaid for that I will be unable to go on her 3 day hen do .
This is due to a few weeks before me giving birth .
I explained to her how guilty I felt that I couldn't go but, explained I felt it was far to soon me leaving my baby for that amount of time .
I got a short reply from her telling me to inform the maid of honor I can't go . Nothing else .
Since then she has barely bothered with me and has been talking about me to her fellow bridesmaid as I can't go .
I now feel so sad and guilty as I thought she would understand that like any new mum leaving your baby just for a few hours is hard .
I am now 38 weeks pregnant and it has caused me massive upset :-(

cookoos Sun 17-May-15 22:44:37

thats no friend!
the world does not revolve around her wedding
i get married in 5wks & i would never act like this.... shes being a bridezilla and v.v unreasonable!

YouBastardSockBalls Sun 17-May-15 22:45:54


Congratulations and enjoy your new baby flowers

Koalafications Sun 17-May-15 22:46:42

No, she is being ridiculous.

Nothing wrong with you wanting to spend time with your baby... confused

Maybe you didn't get the memo about the world revolving around her wedding? hmm

chickydoo Sun 17-May-15 22:50:27

Once you've had your baby nothing else will matter thanks
She will understand one day if she is lucky!

karinmaria Sun 17-May-15 22:52:48

YANBU. Maybe one day she'll get it, or maybe not. Fingers crossed for a sneeze birth for you wink

Springtimemama Sun 17-May-15 23:45:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twofalls Mon 18-May-15 01:59:04

YANBU she is.

I was a bm for my friend when dd1 was 4 months old. Her wedding was child free so DH had the baby the night before so I could stay with my friend and my mum had her the night of the wedding. It was a massive wrench and friend never even acknowledged how hard it was until a year later when she was in the same position (young baby, bm for a friend) when she profusely apologised. One day your friend will realise how awful she has behaved.

Emblondey84 Mon 18-May-15 06:18:45

I'm honestly lost for words . The thing that has made this more heartbreaking is that I've been friends with her for years .
She doesn't have or want children but, I don't think that's an excuse for how she's being sad

teachermummy2b Mon 18-May-15 07:07:18

I am in a very similar situation - am also 38 weeks pregnant and baby will be 10 weeks old at the time of the hen weekend. So-called friend has told me she is 'extremely disappointed especially after all the hassle she went through to come to mine last year.' Mine being one night in her home city and hers being a weekend 2 hours away.

Ive just accepted that relationships change over time and unfortunately we clearly are not great mates anymore. Still feel sad though. sad sad

Emblondey84 Mon 18-May-15 07:29:03

My friend didn't come on mine .
Mine was a lot cheaper .
She said she was having money problems at the time so I understood and excepted .
I went out for a few drinks before my wedding too locally but, she didn't attend that either confused

Mitzimaybe Mon 18-May-15 07:42:04

Don't remind her of that, or it will look like tit for tat cancellations. Honestly, if she doesn't understand that you need to be with your baby a few weeks after the birth, she is crazy.

HoggleHoggle Mon 18-May-15 07:45:23

She sounds awful. Yanbu.

Try and put it to the back of your mind and enjoy these last few weeks before your baby comes.

Emblondey84 Mon 18-May-15 09:32:48

Thanks all .
If anything I know I've been a good bridesmaid .
I've helped her everyway I can since she started organising her big day .
Guess it's her loss if our friendship boils down to her not understanding her friend has just given birth x

honeyroar Thu 21-May-15 16:26:10

So she didn't come to either your wedding or hen do and is being arsey about your pregnancy, yet you haven't dumped her yet? You're better than me!

expatinscotland Thu 21-May-15 16:28:35


Em4891 Thu 21-May-15 22:58:50

I feel so hurt by how she's been . I'm even having doubts over the whole bridesmaid thing now . Especially when the girl who she asked to be maid of honour has barely been there for her . Think the thing that has cut so deep is that it's my baby she's going in a mood about cus I don't want to leave him .
You think you know someone then they act like this sad

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