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Friends hen do doubtful I can go due to baby

(7 Posts)
Emblondey84 Sun 10-May-15 20:58:34

Evening all.
I'm in a bit of a dilemma . I have been asked to be bridesmaid for one of my oldest friends , which like any girl was so privileged .
A month after being asked I found out I was pregnant and my baby is due 8 weeks ( if on time) before the hen .
My friends hen is going to be costing about £300 all in for a two day break .
I am worried my friend will either take offence if I don't go .
Like most mums out there I shall only be on smp and have many financial commitments ( mortgage etc)
I was just after some advice how to approach this as I don't want to upset her but, at the same time can't commit to spending £300 .
which will stretch me to far .
Many thanks smile

Mostlyjustaluker Sun 10-May-15 21:04:00

Are you thinking of breast feeding? Then you may not be able to go. I think many new mums would struggle leaving a new baby at home. If baby is late then you will only be 6 weeks post birth and if birth is not easy or c section ypu may not be up for a weekend away. Ring friend and sit down and explain this to her but I would also offer to withdraw from being bridesmaid if she wished.

PenguinPoser Sun 10-May-15 21:05:08

I'm in a similar situation but will have a 4 month old at the time of my friends hen do. I think something to think about apart from The money as well will be will you want to leave the baby for a whole weekend at the age. especially if breastfeeding. I'm feeding my dd and have come to the conclusion that I can leave her for a day with DH and lots of expressed milk but not going to leave her overnight due to feeding mainly.

I think be honest with your friend. Good friends will understand. And maybe depending what the plans are you could go to one of the daytime hen do activities?

Emblondey84 Sun 10-May-15 21:25:29

Obviously there's the baby I'm worried of leaving too . Due to being so young . My husband will be working meaning my mum will have to have little one for the weekend .
The money is such a worry too as my friend doesn't really have money worries as her other half is in a good paid job .
I hope she understands as we've been friends for 20 years

Brandysnapper Sun 10-May-15 21:29:58

I wouldn't be going, not because of the money but because of leaving such a lo. Is there something special you could do with your friend, that would have special meaning for the two of you? Just thinking that might soften the blow of your absence!

Emblondey84 Sun 10-May-15 21:35:05

She is having a meal out closer to her wedding which is local and wouldn't mean leaving lo too long .

MrsAukerman Sun 10-May-15 21:40:24

Erm, my ds is 6 months old nearly and I can't leave him for more than about 2 hours never mind 2 days. I.wouldn't even mention the money, just say that IF Bf works out for you then obviously you won't be able to come.

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