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Would this be okay...?

(22 Posts)
PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 15:45:53

We are getting married in Town at 12:15. Hopefully, we'll have the rest of the do in City, which is a 30min drive away. We aren't really sure what we're doing reception-wise yet, but we would like to try have a meal around 4/5pm and then hire a function room.

Would that gap be too big? Most people will be driving 2.5/3 hours to the wedding, so I thought that they could come straight to the wedding, that will finish around 1pm and that gives them 3 hours to have a bite to eat somewhere, get to City, find a place to park, get to their hotels and dump their things and just chill for half hour before the rest of the do. We couldn't get a later ceremony time nor could we choose a different day unless we were to postpone the wedding for another 6 months, so the time can't be changed.

There are around 20-25 people coming to the wedding, mostly family but a couple of friends each too. We're planning to invite a few others to the evening do as well but it won't be a huge number.

DPotter Tue 03-Feb-15 16:53:10

I personally think its too bitty.

If they are travelling 3 hrs they may well want to freshen up before the wedding, as they will have to had left home before 9am to get to the Town, park up and not be late. May not be so much of a problem if they are driving but if using public transport could be a nightmare. "Getting a bite to eat somewhere" if you don't know the City is also a bit vague and you could loose the whole flow and togetherness of the wedding celebration.

I would think having the Registry office at 12.15 and then all going for a late lunch together in the Town or City would be better. If your family are anything like mine you could easily spin out a late lunch( say starting at 1.30-2pm) well into the early evening.

Whatever you decide enjoy your day!

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 16:58:35

Those coming from that far are all driving, can't imagine any of them using public transport! wink

Damn. I was hoping it was feasible. It's the best option we've come up with so far as most function rooms won't be available before 5/6pm.
We couldn't spin out a late lunch unfortunately. I have no desire to be around them without distraction for a long period of time, which is also part of the issue.

DPotter Tue 03-Feb-15 17:04:48

Why have an evening do at all ? Just a late lunch and everyone go their separate ways. Could also save your guests money if they don't need a hotel overnight. You and your new DH could head off for a lovely quiet romantic evening without the worry being hostess. There's no law that requires you to have an evening function

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 17:21:04

The evening thing would be purely for me, I would like to invite a few people to celebrate with. It won't be anything extravagant, literally just a function room that we can use as a base to drink, eat snacks and be merry!

Szeli Tue 03-Feb-15 19:16:57

every function space i viewed/spoke to was available from any time of day so maybe ceremony til 1

lunch together around 2

function room from 430

those that want to nip off and freshen up can and the rest can get started early

Szeli Tue 03-Feb-15 19:21:28

every function space i viewed/spoke to was available from any time of day so maybe ceremony til 1

lunch together around 2

function room from 430

those that want to nip off and freshen up can and the rest can get started early

BackforGood Tue 03-Feb-15 19:25:23

Is there a reason you can't have the ceremony later ? That would make a lot more sense - people travel, book into their accomm., freshen up, have bite to eat according to their taste/budget/hungriness, then come to the ceremony and directly from there to the Reception ? Those who are local aren't faffing about for a couple of hours in the middle.

PatriciaHolm Tue 03-Feb-15 19:31:42

Ummm if you don't like these people much, why invite them at all? Get married and have a small lunch with the people you really want there.

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 21:43:52

The ceremony place isn't open in the afternoon and it's somewhere that DP has his heart set on and is the only thing about the wedding he particularly wants (apart from his family there).

RE why invite them, no choice really without causing family rifts. I don't actively dislike them, but I don't particularly enjoy spending time with them and feel uncomfortable around them for extended periods. I can handle them at dinner sitting next to DP, but not extended conversation! They've been better behaved the past few months but I'm very careful with what I say/do around them and it drives me insane having to watch myself. We have strategies to help during the meal but they wouldn't hold up for an extended period of time.

I'll contact the places we were looking at RE function rooms, see what time we can get in. I was going by the website but I'll see if they make exceptions and whatnot.

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 21:46:16

Actually, to be more correct, I can enjoy time spent with them in certain circumstances, but not when they're all together.

Bowlersarm Tue 03-Feb-15 21:48:23

I don't think that would work, I really don't.

People are travelling a long way for your wedding; on the whole they won't want to have to waste a whole chunk of the day doing their own thing.

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 22:10:42

Fair enough, back to the drawing board confused

BackforGood Tue 03-Feb-15 22:12:56

Ok then - what about having the ceremony at 12.30. Having a nice meal somewhere straight afterwards (or after photos if you prefer), then all the people you "have" to invite go home. You and dh go home for a bit (or hotel room if preferred) and relax, then in the evening, have a party for your actual friends, to enjoy the day as you want, with the people you want.

Traveling people aren't hanging around, and you aren't spending longer than you need to with people you can't relax with, but you've done "the right thing" in family's eyes.

BackforGood Tue 03-Feb-15 22:14:41

I mean - can just be a restaurant or local pub for the meal, doesn't have to be 'wedding-y'

Party - depending on numbers - could be in a local hall or even someone's house if it's just a few, but you can plug your ipod in to the speakers, everyone you want to be with you can mill about, chat, dance if you like, and have a lovely time celebrating your wedding.

MummyBeerest Tue 03-Feb-15 22:23:04

As a pp has said, maybe there's a relative/friend or even a nice cafe/pub in town that you could host a midday meal/drinks before the evening part?

A wedding I went to in the fall did this at the pub where they met, so they could socialise with guests and eat and drink while they got their photos done.

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 22:23:06

Problem is, the "have to" people want to stay for the evening, it's going to be very casual, I've told them that they don't have to, but they want to. I don't mind them being there as DP and I will be distracted. I don't mind so much telling people to hang around for the evening though as we are giving them the option to leave IYSWIM.

There aren't many extras that we're inviting to the evening, it'd be easier if family went home as we wouldn't need to hire out a room though wink We only have a couple of friends each so I was just going to invite acquaintances and have a bit of a free for all! grin Use the wedding as an excuse to celebrate rather than having a reception for the wedding, IYSWIM.

Thinking about it, wedding will finish around 1pm, it will take at least half an hour for people to get to City from town, that doesn't include finding their cars, then finding parking in City afterwards either. So lunch would be around 2/2:30, meal would take around 2 hours, right? So that brings us to at least 4pm, more likely 4:30. Then congregating and getting to next place would take half an hour which brings us to five and I could see if we can get where-ever to open doors at 5pm so that we can settle in and start drinking.

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 22:28:16

X-post It will be a restaurant for the meal, it's not going to be a full on wedding thing, we're actually thinking Indian food and have found somewhere that we like that we're trying out on Friday grin The evening do is difficult as we're trying to find a pub/bar/something with a function room that has a bar and maybe music over speakers that is small so as to not feel empty but also doesn't cost the earth. We haven't properly looked though we just have a list of places we like that we need to check out over the next couple of weeks.

I like the idea of a place with some decent grub so that people can buy dinner for themselves if they want or we can get them to provide some nibbles, but again, we need to actually go to these places and talk to managers rather than looking online.

MummyBeerest Tue 03-Feb-15 22:28:28

This is true!

Just out of interest, is the ceremony venue not available for reception as well?

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 22:34:04

No, not a venue that does it all unfortunately.

The ceremony venue is the 'registry office', but it's not really. It used to be a separate licensed ceremony venue but the registry office got closed down for various health and safety reasons so this building has a contract with the official registry office to take its place until works there are completed. It's been three years so far I think grin Its a shame because the actual registry office is gorgeous and backs onto a beautiful public garden, but this building is equally interesting in its own right smile

PixieofCatan Tue 03-Feb-15 22:35:29

What I'd love is to have a pub and have board games like settlers of Catan and Dominion, but I've been told that it probably wouldn't go down well grin

MummyBeerest Tue 03-Feb-15 22:42:11

Hey, why not? It's your wedding!

Use boardgames artfully arranged to be your centrepieces. They do it with books, why not games?

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