wedding invitation - "cash poem"

[s88]

currently starting our wedding invitations and dp wants to add in a poem about if people want to give a gift , then cash . I HATE IT !

he said we don't need stuff as have been living together for 9 years so I said maybe just out a note saying no gifts then but he doesn't agree .

what can I do ?

[Pippidoeswhatshewants]

I believe that wishing wells are the way to go nowadays. If you don't get as much as anticipated you can send round another little poem reminding your guests to give a bit more.

Couldn't resist, sorry. I actually think asking for money is acceptable, but you are brave opening this can of worms here.

[s88]

Is that a wishing well poem or having one at the venue ?

thanks

[Skiingmaniac]

Omg Wow....jus wow!

[makingdoo]

No no no. Please don't ask for money from your guests.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

May as well just be done with it and write 'Stand and deliver; your money or your life' on the invitations.

[gamerchick]

Man don't do a poem. If you don't need anything then just say no gifts or something.

[ThisBitchIsResting]

Please don't ask for money. A lot of the older generation will never, ever forget and will judge you forever more.

A honeymoon gift list is sweet , why not do that? People will still judge but not as much. Trail finders do one.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Donna: I'm sure people on here will compose the OP a poem that strikes just the right balance between grabby and audacious.

[CMOTDibbler]

If you don't need anything, you don't need anything.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Perhaps even an acrostic based on 'we want your money'.

[MissBattleaxe]

Don't say anything and let people figure things out. If anyone gets you something you really hate, send them a thank you card and sell it or pass it on without hurting their feelings. Even this is better than saying "give us money".

Tell your DP that even if other people do the funny Gimme poem, it still doesn't mean anyone likes it.

I think no matter how "funny" a give-us-cash poem is, they always leave a bad taste in the mouths of guests and sound grabby. No matter how much it rhymes!

[FishWithABicycle]

If you don't want gifts then ask people to donate to a nominated charity whatever they might have spent. Asking for cash is crass. You know this, and need to stand up to DP about it as you will lose the respect of many of your nearest and dearest otherwise.

[Pippidoeswhatshewants]

I think you might find this enlightening, OP. One of my favourite ever threads www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/a2138616-Oh-do-I-have-a-new-low-in-wedding-poems-for-you

[MrSheen]

Don't say anything. In reality most people are happy to stick cash in a card and unless they've been living in a cave, know it's completely normal to turn up at a wedding (presumably of someone you like) with some sort of contribution. The number of people who buy you a toaster is so small it's not worth the cringe factor of a poem.

[SauvignonBlanche]

Why are you marrying someone who thinks this a good idea?

[hollie84]

I've been to a couple of weddings recently that have said "we don't expect gifts" but if you do want to give something, cash towards the honeymoon/John Lewis vouchers would be gratefully received.

Don't see the problem with that! Not in poem form though...

[Itsfab]

I suppose your future DH is being honest as he obviously wants cash.

There is no nice way to ask for money, so don't.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Also, the kind of people who will insist on giving you stuff as a present will do so regardless whether you stick in a poem asking for cash, have a cheesy honeymoon-based give us cash list, or put no mention of presents at all anywhere near the invitations.

There are people who will give cash in an envelope no matter what, people who will give stuff no matter what, and a small but important group who will give cash unless they're asked specifically for it. Then they'll give you the gift of donated manure.

[Viviennemary]

This has been discussed so many many times. No a poem is not acceptable enclosed with a wedding invitaiton. It is the very height of rudeness and grabbiness. Wait until you are asked what you'd like is the polite way to go.

[joanofarchitrave]

DON'T SEND A POEM.

DON'T HAVE A WISHING WELL.

If the invitation is from you both (as it usually is these days, not from your parents), I think it's OK to say 'no presents please'.

When I married my XH, I wanted a list, and he didn't. In the end, we had a list and he insisted on putting in one of those little cards the shop give you that said we had a list, which I thought was horrible and naff. So we BOTH ended up sweating and cringing about the whole thing. Make sure at least one of you is completely happy about the situation preferably you as it is awful to look back at your wedding and just have this cloud of cringe over the whole business.

[Floggingmolly]

Or just be honest and sell tickets. serve you right if nobody bought one

[prettywhiteguitar]

I hate hate hate the poems and whenever I get one in an invitation dp and I relentlessly take the piss out of it

So go ahead if that's what you want

[Bunbaker]

Just send out invitations with no mention of gifts or cash. I wouldn't be too happy to be asked to fund a honeymoon either.