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Grooms immediate family not coming

(10 Posts)
GertyD Fri 07-Feb-14 19:00:01

Has anyone had this?
DP's parents, sister, nan and aunts are refusing to attend because, well, they hate me and are pissed that he finally stood up to them hmm
He is still upset that they are refusing point blank to attend. It is a real anticipated blot on the day.
He has lots of cousins that are coming though (as they know what idiots his parents are), but still. Has anyone had this? Did it ruin the day? How do you cope when it comes to the speeches? I just want him to have a lovely daysad

GertyD Fri 07-Feb-14 19:01:06

Not fussed about the speeches themselves, but him being aware of the gaping hole that his father should fill.

lilyloo Fri 07-Feb-14 19:05:08

I dont think dads of the groom normally give speeches anyway unless they are his best man ?
I would hope it doesnt ruin the day and probably better they dont come if they dont like you , at least they cant ruin the day by saying something.
Hope it goes well.

eltsihT Fri 07-Feb-14 19:08:46

My fil and step mil didn't come to our wedding. I told fil to fuck off when he had a go at me as sil wasn't going to be a bridesmaid, and that we should have a disco not a ceilidh and various other things. There is loads more back story.

Luckily sil didn't want to be a bridesmaid and came.

We coped by having all round tables and mixed everyone up, so top table was just me dh, best man and bridesmaid. Everyone else was mixed up. Also had the hotel primed to add table setting just incase they did show.

Speeches were just groom. Father if the bride, best man.

We had a great day didn't miss them, actually hardly had anytime to talk to anyone in great detail.

6 years on we are now on good terms with them but I think ds (2yo) has a lot to do with it.

Good luck

GertyD Fri 07-Feb-14 19:15:43

Thank you, we are sending cards to them all telling them that we are sad they will not be there, but there will be places saved in case they can make it.

Poor DP. He doesn't deserve this.

GertyD Fri 07-Feb-14 19:17:22

I thought the grooms father did make a speech. Bit relieved they don't. Thank you!

chelsbells Fri 07-Feb-14 19:17:46

If they don't want to be there it will only make it worse.

Similar story to yours but it was half my side of the family that hated H2B, we invited them and they came but were so standoffish, my granddad didn't say one word to me all day, they then left immediately after the speeches, no scenes were made but it was horrible, I couldn't completely relax until they had left because I knew they weren't pleased for me! And that's not a nice feeling...!

Don't force the issue is my advice, if they won't come and be pleasant your better off without them! It's them who will look back with regret in the end!

Have a lovely day when it arrives!

Hth x

Not one member of my husband's family attended our wedding. His parents, basically, did not think it important enough to book a short flight. The rest of the family had no interest. I should have taken note and not wasted 35 years trying to please them.

Grotbagstwin Sun 09-Feb-14 08:04:03

Traditionally speeches are made by Groom, Best Man and Father of the Bride so no one will notice a lack of speech.
Its a sad situation for your dp but well done to him for not backing down to them.chances are if his cousins know what a PITA his parents are then his close friends would as well so that should make it less awkward, hope it all runs smoothly and you all have a great day.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Sun 09-Feb-14 08:12:20

Does it matter who traditionally makes the speeches? Choose the person or the people who care about you two most. If groom speaks, why don't you too. Then he will hear sone lovely words directed to him and that should make him feel better for his immediate twats family not being here.

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