Why can't people just buy actual nice presents? I'd be thrilled to have nice gifts, things that people who know and love us thought it'd be nice to buy us , but I accept I'm unusual and have been waiting for 15 years for a fecking weddi g
nothing wrong with puns, it is clearly miserable day here today.
I like the idea of saying what you've said. 'we've been together ages and are lucky enough to have all we need. Please no gifts - if you wish to mark the occasion, please donate to a charity of your choice'.
We solved this by setting up an Oxfam wedding wish list. And it worked really well - people felt they were getting us something, which was very important to the older relatives, and we didn't feel we were taking the piss, IYSWIM.
My Grandmother told me I wasnt allowed to put 'No gifts' on our invites because it pressumes that otherwise we would expect gifts. So under her very watchful eye we had to not put anything, didnt have a gift list and when people asked just said we didnt want anything
Ok can I get this off my chest. My dear old gran, who I love to bits, is a fucking nightmare to buy presents for. Every birthday and Christmas its the same. You ask her what she would like, she says 'i don't know. I don't need anything' so you say ok, but is there anything you'd like? Cue look of bewilderment and slight upset.
Ok, have it your way granny. Yet again I will have to spend ages trying to get inside your brain and think of things you might like that you can't name yourself. You won't like them, or use them. You never do. But you'll be achingly polite and say 'thank you dear' when you open the pointless, wasted gift.
If there really is no object on this planet that would please you in any way, could you think maybe of a charity donation? Or even better, could you suggest that we drop this agony once and for all and stop buying each other gifts? I always like the cards you send, and I enjoy choosing cards for you.
We put on the back page of our invites, next to the dress code and other small bits of boring info, the following; In lieu of gifts please consider a donation to your charity of choice or to our church. We still got some people giving physical gifts, which were really lovely, but mostly people ended up giving us cards with a little note in saying who they donated to. It was lovely knowing how our friends and family had all helped the wider world that day.
I think saying you don't need anything is a bit rubbish, as you leave people wondering if they should buy you something personal/ luxurious etc. If you don't want a gift, say please don't get us anything.
All this dancing, posturing and pretending that is expected on both sides at weddings is exactly what makes it stressful. All guests want is to be advised what to do.