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Will I ever stop being ridiculously paranoid about my engagement ring? Help!

(16 Posts)

DP and I got engaged about 3 months ago. I've never really been a wearer of real jewellery, only ever cheapie Topshop/River Island kind of stuff, in fact I didn't really want an engagement ring. Now that I have this one, I absolutely adore it. DP put so much thought in to it, had it made for me, and I wouldn't be without it.

However, as I'm not used to wearing 'real' jewellery, and it's so special (more for the effort that DP put in to it than any monetary value), I'm terrified of anything happening to it. I clunked it off the door of the washing machine earlier when unloading it, and spent an hour feeling sick and examining it. It's a freaking diamond, logically I know the door of the washer won't have done it any damage but I couldn't stop myself.

I take it off every time I wash dishes, wash my hands, have a shower, prepare food, for which my Mum keeps telling me off as she is convinced that I will lose it doing this (it's also very time consuming!). My sister wore it for about an hour to keep it safe while I was having a manicure and I felt ill until I had it back on my finger.

This sounds utterly ridiculous, and it's really not about me being horrible and materialistic, much as it may sound like I am. It's not a big 2 carat rock or anything like that, it's just so very special to me (as I'm sure everyone's engagement ring is to them) that I'm utterly terrified of losing or damaging it.

Is this normal? Does it just take a while to adjust to having this piece of jewellery that you value and wear all the time, or am I overly obsessive and paranoid?

filee777 Fri 04-Oct-13 23:27:10

I am very 'handy' if I had an engagement ring I wouldn't wear it every day.

PoppyWearer Fri 04-Oct-13 23:31:09

It is normal.

Until we had DCs I lay awake devising ways to hide my engagement and wedding rings from imaginary muggers and burglars. Throw them out of the window? Swallow them? What to do?

Since having DCs, life has a completely new perspective and honestly, I don't give a shit about the rings anymore.

OldBagWantsNewBag Fri 04-Oct-13 23:38:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyWearer Fri 04-Oct-13 23:44:16

I agree with "stop taking it off". I know someone who lost her ring after taking it off.

Okay, thanks so much, I feel a bit more normal now! grin.

Poppy, that's exactly how I am.

OldBag, yes, I absolutely have to stop taking it off, my Mother is constantly telling me that. I'm so likely to leave it behind somewhere, and logically I know that some soap and water is not going to do it any damage, but I can't stop myself. Yes, we've added it to our contents insurance (we rent) and have pictures etc, but then I worry that, if anything happens to it and I have it replaced on the insurance, yes I'll have a ring of the same value, but it won't be the ring that DP proposed with, and then I start to feel sick all over again blush.

blueshoes Fri 04-Oct-13 23:57:30

Don't take it off and you will forget about it soon enough. It should just be part of your life.

VioletHunter Fri 04-Oct-13 23:59:44

I never really got used to mine. I'm not really a jewellery person and though I love my ring, it always feels a bit in the way when I wear it. I also found my wedding ring annoying too as the thicker band irritates my fingers. In the end DH got me a really thin wedding ring which I wear on its own most of the time, and I wear my "proper" wedding ring which I got married with for special occasions, combined with my engagement ring. That way it keeps them looking nice and I feel comfortable (and always look married!)

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Sat 05-Oct-13 00:00:41

Agree with others stop taking it off, you will get used to it.
I had I take my rings off in my last month of pregnancy and it felt odd, my fingers still haven't gone back to normal size so I had to buy a cheap silver band as it just felt strange with nothing on my hand.
I'm not a jewellery wearer at all and took me a couple of months to get used to wearing a ring that was only 2 years a go.

Vecta Sat 05-Oct-13 00:06:13

I'm not a jewellery person either and I only wear my ring when I go out. My ring has a place at home and when I take my ring off, it goes in its place. I don't put it in random places like the kitchen windowsill; it goes in its place even if it is a little bit of a hassle to take it upstairs and put it away. I never take it off when I am out of the house. If I am washing up at friend's or something like that, I keep my ring on.

My system works for me. I know my ring is always either on my finger or in its place and I haven't lost it yet!

LapsedPacifist Sat 05-Oct-13 00:14:57

I've worn my engagement ring constantly for the last 12 years and nothing has ever happened to it. You're far more likely to lose it down the plughole if you're always taking it off.

YoniBottsBumgina Sat 05-Oct-13 00:15:15

Definitely insure it. Also what about buying a chain for it? My fingers swell up sometimes and I have to take mine off for comfort, but I am worried I will lose it. I put mine on the bedside table the other night and forgot to put it on all the next day. Having a chain around your neck gives you somewhere to put it if you have to take it off, but it's still on your person, so you can't accidentally leave it behind.

It definitely won't be harmed by soap and water smile

VenusDeWillendorf Sat 05-Oct-13 00:23:19

Stop taking it off.

Just get it sized properly if its too small or large, and wear it all the time.
Turn it around if its freaking you out!

And breathe! Get it insured and relax.

YouHaveAGoodPoint Sat 05-Oct-13 00:26:57

I have a diamond ring and I almost never take it off and if I do I always put it in the safe. The only time I take it off is if I am doing a lot of digging as it gives me a blister.
I would get a jeweller to check that it is nice a secure then I wouldn't worry about it.

I am used to wearing it now, I actually feel a bit naked without it, just so very paranoid about anything happening to it. I definitely have to force myself to stop taking it off though.

Violet, the band on my ring is very slim, will absolutely be getting a very small wedding band, anything too obtrusive would drive me mad!

Vecta, I think that's my problem, I sometimes leave it on the coffee table, sometimes on the kitchen windowsill, sometimes on the bathroom windowsill. We were away a few weeks ago, and when I wanted to get in to the pool, I had a bit of a panic. Didn't want to leave it in my room (you know, in case it ran off when I wasn't watching), wouldn't wear it in the pool (in case it was sucked off my finger into the filter, because my fingers are so little and dainty wink), so made my Mum wear it every time I so much as sat within 3 feet of the edge of the pool.

I think I'm a bit obsessive about such things. On my sister's wedding day I ran around after her holding up her dress for hours, all around the hotel, into the car, when she arrived at the church, until my Mum gently pointed out that she'd actually have to walk around so the dress would actually have to touch the ground. Sister didn't give a shit about getting the dress dirty, I was in a huge panic. I may get the obsessiveness from my Father... When my sister was casually strolling around on the dusty ground outside the church and on the damp grass at the villa, my Dad was bellowing 'the dress! Who is holding up the dress?' grin

Thanks all for making me feel a wee bit more sane and normal!

Lapsed, I think part of the problem is that the only sentimental piece of jewellery that I have ever had was a silver bracelet that my Mum got me. I lost it once, got it back. Lost it a second time, got it back. Lost it a third time, gone forever. I feel like I have a bad track record!

Venus, thanks. I did have to get it resized, though have lost a bit of weight (probably from the stress of fretting about the ring grin) so should probably get it resized again. I might relax a bit more then. I really do need to calm down and just breathe a bit more, am inclined towards being highly strung (would you have guessed?!)

YouHave, yes will bring it back to the jeweller who made it (local, thankfully) and get it resized. Then glue it to my damn finger grin.

Apologies for the epic posts. Apparently I am as incapable of brevity as I am of relaxing!

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